Yay for Italy!

The day Italy won the world cup was fun.
Italians are partiers.
I was kind of sort of rooting for France in the beginning.
Only because of Zedane, though.
That man oozes sex appeal.

When Italy won I cheered like my life counted on it.
Because I'm a backstabber and all I care about is winning.
What's it to you, butt munch?
(I'm paying homage to Beavis and Butthead because I love them for being the only show on German TV that is subtitled and not voice-overed. DADADAAAA!!)

We wore flags as capes and ran around the streets of London shouting "ITALIA!" at French passer-by.
We did get the occasional "Fook off.", and what I'm sure was a string of French obscenities, to which a "Haha. Don't be bitter about loosing, budd. It's only football!" was an appropriate retaliation.
Otherwise "You fuck off! You're the ones that lost! HAH!" worked, too.

And the Italians... Boy do I love y'all.
You weren't nasty when you found out we weren't Italian.
And you were even nice enough to let us keep pretending we were.
We fooled a hell of a lot of people.

Haha. Some guy came charging over to us, picked up Mona and just ran off.
It was fucking hillarious.

She didn't think it was so funny.
This is, though.
Mona you fucktard you're funny like shite, you know that?
(Literally.)

The Italians are so charming.
Honestly, they are.
I'm not big on the accent, but when they force you into posing for their cameras by saying "Hey Byootifilla girrlss! Bella! Come take-a pik-churr! Bella!"
You find yourself asking: "Beautiful!? Really??.."
Instead of the customary kick in the balls and "Get the fuck off me, pervert! Officer! This man is harassing me!"
I don't know how they do it. Magic is my guess.

When it comes to accents, the French win hands down.
They can make the most idiotic- even disgusting- statements sound sexy.
"My sokss are' wett."
Yummy. I think I'm in love.

So there you have it.
The Italians may have won the World Cup, but the French have sexier accents.

If I ruled the world, it would so be cool.
I just felt like saying that.

ubergirl

Kulluna Lilwa6an

Heat Wave...Wooooo

I'm not in London anymore.
I'm in some obscure little European village with my family. It is absolutely scorching, people.
You know something's wrong when the Khaleejis are fanning themselves.

London was fun.
Except for the hordes of Khaleeji boys who have nothing better to do than bother me.
More about that later.
As in in the next post.

I carried a notebook with me everywhere, and that is where I vented out all of my frustrations. Guess who's getting an exclusive look at what's inside of this little notebook of mine?

Yes you, dumbass!
Joke! Wallah I love you all! Not ALL... Just a whole bunch of you! Anyway, on with the rants!:



What idiot made the Saudi ID card all in Arabic? What is the point if you can only use it inside the Kingdom?
And no I am not about to carry my passport around with me like a fool.
And those muppets at the drug store.
Can you believe they won't sell me pain killers that say "for ages 12 and up" on the box because "I don't look 18", which I do.
Ofcourse my "ID" is useless because the only employee that can read Arabic doesn't know the date in Hijri.
It's shouldn't even be called ID.
It should be called... Umm.... Not ID.
Yeah.


Why is "when I'm back" not a polite answer to "When will you be back?"?
I don't know when exactly boredom will strike me. I don't know when I am going to decide to come home.
I can't say I'll be back at 12:43 because that would probably be a lie.
I find "when I'm back" to be not only a polite, but quite an accurate answer as well.


The superman movie sucks.
Who the fuck cast that Blue Crush chick as Lois Lane?
Dying her hair brown doesn't fool us, Hollywood!
Fuckers.



Someone needs to knock Oprah off her high-horse.
Honestly.
Before she finds another cause to put her kindness on display and show the world how rich and "charitable" she is.

Hello, Oprah?
I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT.



I know this is self-centered, but I find it incredible that all of the people in the world have their own lives, just as I do.
They all have issues and people and events to deal with.
The world doesn't revolve around me.
I am not the star of... Well... The world.
Wow.




ubergirl

London, Baby! Yeah!

Tomorrow I will hand my parents an envelope right before I board the plane.
I will ask them to open it together when they get back home.

They will be in the living room. The TV will be blaring, and it will be about 3 AM.
Inside the envelope will be an article I cut out from a newspaper this morning.
The headline will read:
"Safar almorahi8een: 8unbola maw8oota"
"Teenagers On Holiday: A Time Bomb Waiting To Go Off"

I will be halfway to London.

LOVE YOU MAMA AND BABA!
I'LL MISS YOU!

No, really.

ubergirl

Hummm...

A friend of my mother's just got back from one of those mind, body and soul cleansing trecks in the forest/desert/mountains.
The ones where they sit around and do yoga and meditate all day.

I've never been good at any of that spiritual shit.
"Focus, and store all your energy in the space between your back and your assss... Hummmm..."

Not for me.

I love the big city life.
The Pollution.
The Corruption.
The gritty grime of it all! (Gritty grime is now a phrase.)

I cannot possibly sleep on a matt thingie in the middle of middle-of-no-where India and quit speaking and spend a week "finding myself."
What does that even mean; finding yourself.

I know where I am. I'm right here, writing this post.
In fact, I know where everyone who's reading this is right now: Sitting at your computer. In your house, office, or a net cafe, reading this post.

I should start charging for this.
I'd open my house to complete strangers, they'd sit by the pool and eat icecream and I'd point at each one and "find them."
I'd make millions.

Although I have to say I'm pretty jealous of the people who are all spiritual and shit.
It supposedly allows you to be very carefree.
I guess I'll never know.

ubergirl

Now I Know Why They Think We Like It When They Chase Us!

I woke up early this morning.
Early enough to have breakfast, a meal I very rarely get to experience. It was quite pleasant.

There really is nothing one can do at 10 AM.
I was channel surfing and came upon Rotana; our MTV.

I have to say, the music wasn't all that bad.
I kind of wished I was listening to it on one of our (three) radio stations instead of watching the videos, though.

Here's why:

In almost every other video, (they're all love songs) the guy... Well... Stalks the girl.
Hides outside her house.
Follows her around.
Watches her from afar.

Frightful.

I thought of how the average Saudi boy "gets" a girl.
Car chases.
Harassament.
Stalking.


I remember how as a child I, like most children my age, was not allowed to watch violence on television, because my parents were afraid I'd copy whatever I saw in the movie.

At the time, I thought they were being silly. Surely they knew I realized TV was just pretend?
Apparently, they did not.

And apparently, it is our full grown Saudi male who does not know TV is just pretend.

And yet... I am the one who "does not have the brain capacity of a male".

Interesting.


ubergirl

I Don't Want To Die Either

A little boy pointed at a picture of my grandfather and asked me why he died.
I am the worst person in the world to have the 'death talk' with a child. Sex talk I can do, but this...
Shit!

"So that God can take him to heaven."
"Why did God want to take him to heaven?"
"Okay... Listen up. Everyone dies. We're all gonna die someday. And it was just Grandpa's time to go."
"We're all gonna die?"

What do these mothers teach their kids! Oy!

"Yes. We're aaaaallll going to die one day."
"Even me?"
"After a very long, wonderful life, yes."
"Bass ana ma ab3'a amoot... Abi ag3id hina 3indikom." (But I don't want to die... I want to stay here with all of you.)
"Okay then! You won't die sweety!"

• I ruined a perfectly cheesy Chicken Soup Moment.
• I promised a child that he would not die.
• I failed to explain that people are happier when they die. (That's what they're telling kids these days, right?)
• I promised a child that he would not die.

He's like, four. And he's now worried he'll die.

Oh, well.

ubergirl

Green Beats Orange

I love my highschool friends.

Even when we haven't seen eachother in months, we might even look different, we always pick up right where we left off.
No formalities. Just us goofing around like we did in class two or six years ago.
I love that.
We don't pretend we haven't been through everything together.
We were all (and we still are, really) very close. We're very supportive of eachother, and we jump at the chance to offer help to any one of us who needs it.
We're family.
Whenever one of us was going to the supermarket or pharmacy, she'd ask if anyone in class needed anything, and someone always did.
Because going to the supermarket to only get one thing is stupid. You might aswell wait untill you need a bunch of stuff to go.
And I love how when you say, "Dammit! I'm out of clear nail polish!" in our class, a new bottle of clear nail polish would magically appear on your desk the next day.
Highschool might have sucked, but our class made it very bearable.

Today I called to ask a bunch of the girls to come over.
This is how I know nothing has changed:

"Hey!"
Groans.
"Wake up, it's fucking 3 O'Clock."
"What do you want?"
"Come over today."
"Okay. Are you gonna go get food? From the supermarket?"
"Uuhh... Yeah?"
"Great! Since you're going, could you get me a toothbrush?"
I laugh. "Sure."
"Listen, can you make sure it's not orange?"
"Not orange? Uhh...Oh-kaay..."
"Thanks. You're a life saver."

I got her a green one.

ubergirl

P.S.Check out this blog. Isn't it adoreable? She's only ten, so be nice, kids!

R E S P E C T

When somone dies, I believe their body must be handled with respect.
Not photographed for the world to see.
I don't care who the person was, or what they did with the time they had on this earth. If everyone in the world deserves one thing, it is for their remains to be respected.
Yes, Al-Zarquawi and Saddam's sons included.
And it's not just them.
There are photographs and footage of people dead and dying everywhere.

Let's try and have some respect, people.

2-2

When it comes to soccer I don't know very much:
Goal = Good!

Not goal = Bad!

We won! = Good!

We lost! = Bad!

We tied with Tunisia.
The two worst teams in the whole World Cup... Err... Thing, battling it out.

I don't care if we "played well."
We didn't win.
Why the hell didn't we win!?

Shit!

ubergirl

These Are The Things That Annoy Me As Of Late:

People, please turn off the lights when you exit the room!
Would it kill you to save some energy?
I didn't think so.

If you tell me that you think I dress too "racy", I will tell you that it's very hot outside.
If my reply does not satisfy you, then you should ask my mother to consider relocating me from the land of eternal summer.
I swear if she does it, you will never see me again.

Mama I don't understand! Why do I have to live here!? Why should I suffer from your and dad's poor judgement in residence!?
Why, why, why??

Fine I'll stop whining.
Sorry.

Stop talking to me about your daddy's Porche/BMW/Mercedes/Rolls Royce.
I swear to God I'm not impressed.
Wallah.
No, not even a little bit.


Nope, still not impressed.


ubergirl

Down In The Streets

Last night I went out for dinner.
As I was leaving the restaurant, I noticed there was a secutiry guard positioned right outside.
I thought that was nice, they're finally taking secutrity issues seriously.

When I got in the car, a little girl ran after me and tapped on my window.

I hate that. Parents making their children beg on the streets.
Even if (for whatever reason) they're not getting donations from an official orgaization, there are many Masjids all over the city that will offer shelter and food for the needy.

It is disgusting. If you're gonna beg do it yourself, don't send your kid out to do it for you, for fuck's sake.

It was particularly saddening because I can't remember the last time I saw a child begging in the streets of Riyadh.
And I know it' not his job, but the security guard should have called the police.

Children need stability. They need responsible adults to look after them.
No matter how much that girl's parents might say they love her, I will never believe them.
How can they possibly make their little girl run around barefoot in dark alleys asking strangers for money.
She was so small, and it was so dark, that the driver almost drove away. We didn't notice her at first, and we're probably not the only ones. We could have easily ran over her.
God.

Farm animals care more about their young than these people.
It should be illegal for irresponsible individuals to have children.

ubergirl

Star Shite

There's a girl that I like to talk with occasionally. She's very smart, and I generally like asking questions, so she's a good person to be around.
The other day a friend was going out with her and I tagged along. Smart girl brought a friend too.
So I'm having this very intense discussion with Smart girl, and out of no where her friend jumps right in and says (to me),
"What's you star sign?"
I almost slapped her, I swear to God.

I give her a look. You know which one I'm talking about.
"Libra."

And I go back to talking with Smart girl.

"Libra! I never would have guessed! You sure don't act like a Libran!"

EAT SHIT AND DIE.

"And how is a Libran supposed to act?"

"I don't know... Not like you." She giggles.

1. Can't she see we're having an important discussion?
2. Doesn't she know it's rude to interrupt people?
3. What is it with people and star signs these days!?

Everyone I meet wants to know what my star sign is!

"Oh no! Don't tell me! Let me guess!"

Fucking airheads. UGH.

ubergirl

Eve Will Be Back, Because I Said So

I'm sure if you read any other Saudi blog you know Eve's blog has been blocked.

And apparently we're all gonna be blocked eventually.
I'm terribly frightened. What ever will I do if my blog is next?!

Oh, I know!
I'll start another one. And another one. And another one...

You can't shut us up, my dears!
But hey, you can try.
Knock yourselves out.


Please fill this out. It'll only take 14 seconds of your time. I've timed it.
Thanks.

ubergirl

Good News!

Read this.

Now this:

تمكنت الأجهزة الأمنية في شرطة المنطقة الشرقية في السعودية من القبض على منتحل شخصية عضو هيئة الأمر بالمعروف والنهي عن المنكر، والذي ظهر أخيراً في وضع مخل بالآداب، مع فتاة في مقطع "بلوتوث" يتم تداوله على أجهزة الجوال.
وكانت شرطة الظهران قد تلقت بلاغاً من مواطن يؤكد معرفته بالشخص الذي ظهر في المقطع، حيث تم التحري عنه والقبض عليه.
وقالت صحيفة "الوطن" السعودية الخميس 1-6-2006 إن المقبوض عليه يعمل بشركة وطنية كبرى، وعمد في الفترة الأخيرة لإطلاق لحيته، والظهور بمظهر التقي الورع بهدف التمكن من تنفيذ جريمته. وتواصل الأجهزة الأمنية البحث عن شريكه في الجريمة ذاتها والذي تولى تصوير المشهد المخل.

Bottom line: He wasn't a Muttawa. And they arrested him.
I'm very happy.

Thanks Abdulla!

ubergirl

In Such An Ugly World, Something So Beautiful

When someone I care about is hurting, I always feel it is my responsibility to make it all better. And if I fail to make it all better I feel like shit. And I do now.

Because I can’t make it better.
I can’t make it better, and I want to. And I’m very used to getting what I want. I usually work hard for it, and I nearly always get it at the end.
And when someone I love, maybe even more than I love myself, is going through something like, say, a particularly nasty breakup, I go through it with her.

She has no idea I care this much. I don’t think anyone knows I care this much. But I do.
Maybe it’s the “big sister” instinct or whatever. The fact is that I love her so much, and I wish I could reach into her heart and make her stop loving that son of a bitch, but I can’t.
I want to beat him up so bad. He never deserved her.
He never will deserve even her toenail clippings, that scum.
Fuck all "players". That’s right; fuck you.

Don’t they know they’re hurting people? People I love?

He might have ruined the perfect person.
The world will never be the same.

One day he'll wake up and realize his whole life is nothing but a lie.
Then he'll be sorry.
Come to think of it, he's probably sorry already.
She will never forgive him.
And neither will I.
Scum.

He might have ruined the perfect person.
The world will never be the same.

ubergirl

Najdi Love!

Last night I read something quite... Disturbing.

I realize the rest of Saudi Arabia thinks we Najdis are barbarians, but please hear me out:
I am Najdi, and I never would have done that.
Never.
I am sorry you had to experience that, Mr.Yawmiyat. Really I am.

I have a story of my own.
My father was born in Najd, but grew up in Al-Shargiyah.
He was teased at school, they used to call him "Al-Najsi."
Not "Al-Najdi." Najsi.

My father tells us that story not with contempt or disfavor, he does not hold any grudges.
I wish I could say that was the end of this story.

When he was in second grade, he had a teacher that beat him every day.
He would walk into class and say, "Wain ilNajdi!?" (Where's the Najdi?)
The beatings got so bad that my father's older brother went to talk with the headmaster about it.

Second grade, can you imagine?

"What an assho- Err... What a jerk. Don't you hate him, Baba?" is what I said after hearing this story.
My dad just smiled and said: "No. He was ignorant. I pity him, but I do not hate nor resent him."
To this day my father refers to Ahl Al-Sharigiyah as the nicest people you will ever meet.

We could all learn something from this story.
I know that throughout history we Najdis have been absolutely horrid to the rest of you guys, I have heard all about the judges who always ruled in favour of the Najdi, the Quatif "quarantine", the butchering of innocent people in Hijaaz.
I've heard about it all, and it pains me. I hate to see anyone in the world suffering, let alone my own people (no not just the Najdis.)
We all have painful pasts. My (Najdi) grandfather watched the body of his aunt (that had been raped and murdered) being burried at the age of 11. He knew she was murdered and he had every reason to expect his mother, or even he, would be next.

My point is, and you knew this was coming, I am another "a7ma8" that is going to warn against generalization.
I of all people know it's hard not to generalize.
I know sometimes it even seems right, like when saying Najdis are idiots/jerks/jackasses/all of the above.
But let's be honest: it never is right.
If 99.9% of the population of Najd are idiots/jerks/jackasses/all of the above, it still wouldn't be fair to say they all are.

Thank you very much for not shoving a pen up that guy's ass, for not being violent or even rude. You really showed you are the bigger person.
And again, I'm sorry you have to go through that.

I look forward to the day we all become one big happy family!
My friend is telling me it'll never happen, let's prove her wrong.

ubergirl

PS. Wallah I love all of you guys! The Sunna, the Shee3a, il7jaaz, Najd, Shargiyah. You're all awesome! I feel all warm and fuzzy! Yay! Cupcakes for everyone!
Okay I'm going overboard. Sorry.

ubergirl

Agooool

Yesterday I was talking with my mother. Just the two of us. A very rare occurance.
"Mama you know Flana got engaged."
"Wallah? I didn't think she was... The marrying type."
I laughed.
"What does that mean?"
"She looks gay. Doesn't she?"

That's what I said when I heard the news of her engagement.

You never think your mother would share something like that with you. Who she thinks might be gay.
I feel as though she and I are closer now, for some reason. It is a very strange feeling.

ubergirl

I Need A New Nose To Go With This Outfit...

Everyone's getting plastic surgery now.


If you've had a boob job, please do not wear those skimpy halter tops until the bruising and swelling goes down. I beg of you.
I need to get a shirt that says that.

ubergirl

Do Whatever You Want With Humans... Just Leave The Poor Bunnies Alone!

I am all for animal rights.
I think endangered animals should be protected by the law.
I think hurting endangered animals is a crime.

However, I am not against testing medications on rodents.

First of all, before we even think about animal rights, we need to consider human rights.
Crazy, huh?
Let me see... Where in the world are human rights being violated...
Let's make a list:

1.Abu Ghraib.
Allow me to quote:
"... remember, this is just what the military could confirm as having happened:

a. (S) Punching, slapping, and kicking detainees; jumping on their naked feet;
b. (S) Videotaping and photographing naked male and female detainees;
c. (S) Forcibly arranging detainees in various sexually explicit positions for photographing;
d. (S) Forcing detainees to remove their clothing and keeping them naked for several days at a time;
e. (S) Forcing naked male detainees to wear women's underwear;
f. (S) Forcing groups of male detainees to masturbate themselves while being photographed and videotaped;
g. (S) Arranging naked male detainees in a pile and then jumping on them;
h. (S) Positioning a naked detainee on a MRE Box, with a sandbag on his head, and attaching wires to his fingers, toes, and penis to simulate electric torture;
i. (S) Writing "I am a Rapest" (sic) on the leg of a detainee alleged to have forcibly raped a 15-year old fellow detainee, and then photographing him naked;
j. (S) Placing a dog chain or strap around a naked detainee's neck and having a female Soldier pose for a picture;
k. (S) A male MP guard having sex with a female detainee;
l. (S) Using military working dogs (without muzzles) to intimidate and frighten detainees, and in at least one case biting and severely injuring a detainee;
m. (S) Taking photographs of dead Iraqi detainees.
a. (U) Breaking chemical lights and pouring the phosphoric liquid on detainees;
b. (U) Threatening detainees with a charged 9mm pistol;
c. (U) Pouring cold water on naked detainees;
d. (U) Beating detainees with a broom handle and a chair;
e. (U) Threatening male detainees with rape;
f. (U) Allowing a military police guard to stitch the wound of a detainee who was injured after being slammed against the wall in his cell;
g. (U) Sodomizing a detainee with a chemical light and perhaps a broom stick.
h. (U) Using military working dogs to frighten and intimidate detainees with threats of attack, and in one instance actually biting a detainee. "


2.Guantanamo Bay.



3.Darfur.


4.Rwanda.


I could go on forever.
Human rights are being violated everywhere. All the time.
And yet people seem to get more worked up about testing a drug on rats.
Don't they see the medications being tested will maybe save someone's life?

Wait a minute.. I'm being silly!
We can go test drugs on sick children in Nigeria!
We don't even have to tell the parents! Brilliant!
People in third world countries don't really deserve to live, anyway.

ubergirl

He's A Scumbag Don't Ya Know...

Arctic Monkeys are probably the best thing that's happened to Indie Rock since The Strokes.
Buy the CD. It's called "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not."
Perfect ten.
Oh, my favorite track is Scummy, they changed it's name to "When The Sun Goes Down" when they released it as a single.
Don't really know why... Scummy is a better name for a song, I think.
They're awesome anyway.

ubergirl

I'm Warning You, This Is Ugly

"Today I'd like to talk about the issue of Saudi Arabian women driving cars."

God.

"All the liberals want women to drive here. But I don't think it would be right. Think of all the car accidents they'll cause! And a woman can't possibly drive her car alone. She'd have to be accompanied by her brother or something. And what man would stand to be driven around by a woman? I mean.. It's not right. And anyway.. A recent survey shows that only 32% of women actually want to drive."

"And who conducted this survey?"

"Oh, I did! Think about it... We'd have to have policewomen. How will that work!?"
She laughs.

I didn't argue because I don't have the time nor energy.
And because I knew it would be fruitless.
Some people are just idiots, and no matter how hard you try to knock some common sense into their heads, you fail.

الله يعظم أجرنا

(Do you know how long it took me to type that in Arabic?)

ubergirl

I Woke Up At 3PM

The internet at our house hasn't been woking for a few days.
I went to watch TV.
That wasn't working either.


What did people do before TV and the internet?

ubergirl

Jammaz Ya Jammaz

Doesn't Jammaz AlS7aimy (I hope I got his name right) look like a nice guy?
I feel so bad for him! He has to go through all kinds of shit.
People are hiring hit-men, for God's sake.
He was just in the wrong position at the wrong time.
Miskeen.
He's awesome!
I'm kinda a fan of his in the same way that I'm a fan of William Hung.
You know, pity fandom.
I hope people start liking him soon.
It's bad enough people are saying mean things about him, they should leave his family out of it. I'm not linking to anything because I don't approve of any of it.

ubergirl

I Thought Muttawas* Didn't Even *Like* Camera Phones..

Today I scarred myself emotionally. I will forever suffer the psychological consequences.
Or atleast for the next couple of days I will.
Whatever.

It all started when my idiot little mind made my idiot little mouth ask a friend to show me the video of the Muttawa* (member of the religious police) raping a girl.
I hate when I get all "I-won't-believe-it-till-I-see-it" on people.
Ya3ny she told you it exsisted, ubergirl... Why, why must you doubt!?
Because I'm "curious". That's why.
"Curious" my ass. Malgoofa is more like it.

It was horrible.
Horibble.
He had a beard and everything.
He was scolding her while doing it.
Who know they* were kinky, eh? Shut up! You were thinking it too!

It wasn't exactly rape, though.
Apparently they* had "caught" her doing something, and she was trading sex for freedom.
She was obviously okay with the whole.. Err.. Thing.

Not only was the tape horrible enough on it's own, it made me ask myself: "You mean they're*
not really "religious"? "
Whoa.

ubergirl

*I have recently learned that some men pose as religious police to do things like this.
I now firmly believe the man in the video I saw is not a real Muttawa.

Oh, one more thing. This is my blog. And I get to say whatever the hell I want. I can blame people, I can point fingers, I can say I hate the Hay2a. If you don't like it, then you better find yourself something else to read.
(Please note that I can blame and point fingers, but I haven't in this post. I just want to state that I can if I want to.)

Let's Just Randomly Stroke Eachother While We Pose For Pictures, Girls!

I hate how female celebrities try to be all provocative and sexy.
It's disgusting.
I don't appreciate being forced into thinking of the Olsen Twins as lovers.
And yes, I think this picture is suggestive.
Believe me, no sisters would ever hug like that in real life.

I know they're told to do these things to appeal to.. people. I'm not calling anyone a pervert (even though I think people who fantasize about twins are perverted. Seriously. Think about it.)

I understand that's what they need to do to get publicity, but some people, like the Olsen twins in this particular picture, just try too hard.
Angelina Jolie can pull off sexy.
Halle Berry can pull of sexy.
Lindsey Lohan cannot.

These girls need to understand that you just can't force sex appeal!

Another quick way to get famous is to casually and "innocently" use female genetalia in the name of your "band"/dancing troupe, a`la Pussy Cat Dolls.

Oh, I'm sorry.. They mean kitties?
Silly me!

ubergirl

My Thoughts On Denmark, And Darfur.

I am sick of people whining about Denmark.
We get it, you're offended. We all are.
And guess what?
Nobody cares. So get over it.

In the space of one month, I have only heard one person (briefly) talk about what's going on in Darfur.
In the space of two days you hear about those God damned cartoons five hundred times.
Not to mention the bumper stickers.
300,000 People have died in Darfur since 2003. Most of them starved to death.
One man in Afghanistan died while taking part in a protest demanding the government of Denmark publicly apologize for the cartoons.
Do they think the world needs more death?
How these people sleep at night is beyond me.

Let's all boycott Denmark because one man's doodle made us mad. YEAH!
GO KSA!!

Oh, and by the way, no one wants to boycott America for what's still happening in Abu Ghraib. There are tapes of people literally banging their heads on the wall, but we gotta handle them Denmarikians first, eh?

Also, I have noticed that we Saudis donate a lot of money to organizations that build Masjids in African countries.
I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I would much rather build a factory or a farm or whatever in Africa.
You don't need to build a Masjid! People can pray anywhere! Africans are starving to death. A Masjid is not going to feed them!

ubergirl

Ilgird Fe 3ain Ommo 3'azal!

I hate proud mothers.
I honestly do.
They think you're after their son(s).
And you're kinda not.
And they let the whole fucking world know when you've spoken a single word to their son that lives in fucking Outer Mongolia. And they make it sound like you want to hook up.
And then your mother hears of this.
And she gets worried you'll get pregnant (or whatever mothers worry about.)
And all you said was "Hello."
Not "Hello!"
"Hello."

Why doesn't anyone tell these mothers that their kids are ugly losers?
Is it going to disturb the chain of being?
I'm gonna find out.

ubergirl

Random Questions.

You know what's fun?
Asking random questions.

How many times a week do you shower?
How do you feel about carrots?
If you had to pick one color to wear for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Who are you shaping yourself after?
Aren't cows charming?

Ask a stranger a completely random question.
Randomness rocks my socks.

ubergirl

Thank you Nour..

... For lending me Brokeback Mountain.
I loved it. Loved.
Aside from the fact that it's two semi-cute guys making out for two hours straight, it's a real love story, man.
I'm trying not to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet; but boy, are you in for a treat!

ubergirl

Shari3 5amsa And Star Academy

Okay, I officially hate the Shari3 5amsa crowd.
They're such airheads! It's not funny anymore!
I refuse to sit with them. I refuse to go to that wretched place. All anyone does there anyway is talk about other people. All. The. Fucking. Time.

I don't know about them, but I have a life. And I'd much rather be living it than talking about how other people live theirs.
It is sick how people enjoy talking about others behind their back.
I wish I could say no one cares about anyone else's life, but I can't. Because they do care. A great deal. And it's disturbing.
It's kind of why Star Academy is popular here, especially with girls.
When you're addicted to gossip, and when you live in a society such as ours that values it, Star Academy being a huge hit is not a surprise to me.
Plus if you can't live your life as freely as you want you might as well watch other people do it. I guess that idiotic show is the most convenient way to do that; you just turn on the TV from the comfort of your home, and voila! Instant gossip. And the "hot" guys who dance like strippers can't hurt.

ubergirl

Bla.

Lately my diet has consisted of nothing but Cocoa Puffs.
Nothing but Cocoa Puffs.
Is that really as bad as my mother thinks it is?
There should definitely be more meals that come out of a cardboard box and only need the addition of milk.

Also, I noticed that there are billboards all over the city with (half) of David Beckham's face on them.
Last month there was a guy playing air guitar on one of those big screens they put at traffic lights. (Illi gidam 9a7ara.)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but ten years ago this stuff wouldn't have been allowed on the billboards, 9a7?

ubergirl

Ubergirl Sheds Some Light On Demonic Possession.

I was just listening to my little cousin tell a story about a woman who kept shouting "Damn you demons! Quit possessing me!"

Here in Saudi Arabia people still believe that when someone goes crazy, they are most likely possessed.
I am even sure most of the Saudis reading this are thinking I'm crazy for not believing.
To answer the question I know you're asking yourself; I believe in Black Magic, but I do not believe in possession.

Let's ponder this for a moment.
The Arabic word for crazy is Majnoon. The closest I can get to the word demon in Arabic is Jinni.
Clearly one is derived from the other.
What I'm trying to say, is that for a very long time, possession and the loss of one's mind have been undoubtedly linked.

As recently as 50 years ago, people did not understand the concept of craziness. They immediately went to their Sheikh so that he could read Quraan and cure their possesed relative.
I'm not saying the Quraan isn't theraputic or that it would be useless in curing anything.
I'm just saying that 50 years ago, people did not know what mental illness was, so it is understandable that they believed in possesion. There was no other possible explanation back then.

But now there is.
Personality disorders are commonly mistaken for demonic possession:

Paranoid Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent.”

Schizotypal Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior.”

Dependent Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation.” (Most people here mistake DPD for the nanny putting a curse on a child so that he likes her more than his parents, or whatever.)

And ofcourse, there is MPD. (Multiple Personality Disorder.)
You can imagine what people think of that. (Que flashbacks from The Exorcism Of Emily Rose.)

Please think about it before you blow up on me.
Thanks.

ubergirl

Let's Just Change The Name To Sexist Arabia.

I remember back in highschool we were in Biology class, and a girl asked who's "fault" it was when a woman gives birth to a girl.
I turned to her and said "Honey, you might have been a "fault", but I am definitely not."

A few years before that I was at a dinner party and one woman was pregnant. Another woman asked whether it was a boy or a girl, and the mother-to-be said it was a girl.
The woman started consoling her. "Don't worry!", she said, "You'll get a boy next time!"

These people infuriate me! And there are millions of them! Millions!

So what do we do? I am tired of arguing.

ubergirl

I Do This When I Have Nothing To Write About.

Noor tagged me a while back.
Here it goes:

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Complete and utter freedom.

What is your greatest fear? Regret. I am always afraid that I will one day regret a choice I've made.

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Omar Ibnu Abdulaziz. I identify with the way he thought.

Which living person do you most admire? Probably Lubna Al-Olayan.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I make too much out of first impressions.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? I cannot handle rude people. Especially strangers. I don't care that they had a bad day. It does not justify their being rude.

What is your greatest extravagance? I spend a lot of my money on shoes. A lot of my money.

On what occasion do you lie? I acutually very rarely lie. I'm not good at it.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? Nothing. I'm happy with the way I look.

Which living person do you most despise? Paris Hilton and co.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? There's not a particular phrase, but I do use a certain tone excessively.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing. I like my imperfections. Honestly.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Graduating high school. I had serious doubts at one point.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? I'd come back as an African medicine-woman or something.

Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorite writers. Only favorite books.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Batman. I grew up reading comic books, and I've always loved him the most because he's real. He doesn't have super powers or anything.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Losing a loved one. And watching people mourn over her/him. I hope I never have to experience it again.

Where would you like to live? London, New York, or Tokyo.

What is your most marked characteristic? I don't know.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Confidence.

What is your greatest regret? Not visiting my grandpa that one time. Long story.

What OR Who is the greatest love of your life? Chocolate.

How would you like to die? I actually would not like to die.

I hereby tag whoever's up for it.

ubergirl

Thursday Night At The ShuShu Residence

Today I met the dean.
I hate her.
And it's not a natural "I hate authority figures" hate.
It's her I hate.
The person.

I'm at a point where I wish I could just fast forward through the boring bits of my day. Like three-hour lectures where the professor cannot. Stop. Grinning.
It's disturbing.
I can't handle it anymore.

Or the ones that assign 348957348957 books for you to read in the space of two weeks. Those ones are my favorite!

Enough about school.

Last Thursday I felt like shit, so naturally I went over to a girlfriend's house. ShuShu.
This girl is so much fun, it should be illegal.

Their neighbors have like a million kids.
You know those families where the kids were all born nine months apart?
That kind of family.
Their children are so out of control. It is past alarming. It is hillarious.
Their idea of fun is racing out into the street watching passing cars swerve and almost go through a wall trying to avoid hitting them.
They also enjoy stealing their father's car keys and driving around the block.
The eldest is 12.
What really gets me, though, is their now famous human wall.
They stand outside their house and hold hands, forming a wall.
They demand that the driver of a car that want to pass hand over the keys to his car so they can take it for a spin.
Yes.

Don't you just love these people!?

ubergirl

Oh, and I highly recommend Hotel Rwanda.

James Frey Is A Rockstar.

A Million Little Pieces is a great book.
That's what matters.
I don't care that Her Royal Suckiness Oprah doesn't approve.
Someone seriously needs to knock her right off her high horse, anyway.

The man wrote a very good book.
Who cares that he lied a little bit!?
The only difference between James Frey and Dave Pelzer is that unfortunately for James, everything he mentions in his book is on record somewhere else. That's why he got found out.
And I would much rather read (entertaining) "lies" about jumping off third floor balconies than a boy who's mother makes him eat his own vomit. I mean, wouldn't that have killed him?
Look at any "memoir". I dare you to find a 100% accurate account of someone's life on paper.

Bottom line is, books are a source of entertainment. As long as they're doing their job and keeping the reader happy, it doesn't matter whether it involves lies or exaggerations.
I don't see what all the fuss is about!

ubergirl

Apparently I'm A Spoilt Princess Who Thinks She's Queen Of The World.

Today a total stranger hurt my feelings.
I don't know how it happened.
I mean, normally people I know can't hurt my feelings, let alone idiots who don't even know my name.
She was so mean.

I'll show her who I "think I am". Nobody messes with me.
Man, I don't know why I care so much about her opinion of me. I don't normally care about anything. Especially not what people think of me!

Am I being overly sensitive lately, or could it have been what she said that triggered this new emotional side of me?

ubergirl

Boys, Boys, Boys!

Please, gentlemen, when you want to flirt would you mind looking a little more.. Err.. Put together? (Shaving before hand would be nice.)
And lets keep the car chases between noon and 8 PM, please.

Also, one thing I and every female in existence wants to know is; Why do Arab men promise you the world when all they want is a little fun?
Why declare their ever-lasting love when they've only known you for .392 seconds?
Why the marriage proposals when all they want is to mess around?
After all, it is pathetic.

All you guys out there; did it ever occur to you that maybe we want some fun too?

Think about it.

Now stop lying, for fuck's sake.


Oh, and if I don't take your number the first time, it's unlikely I'll take it the 4875356th time around.


ubergirl

If You Don't Like My Blog Don't Read It. Have A Nice Day.

I am sick and tired of the comments I get.
I feel like I'm constantly having to defend myself and everything I say.
This blog is not fun anymore.
I'm sick of the Emails I'm getting from people who have never been here and are not even Arabic telling me how much Saudi Arabia and it's people suck.
I'm sick of arguing to no avail.
So please, if you don't have anything productive to say, if you have no clue about Saudi Arabia keep your nasty comments to yourself.
Being mean is no art. Anyone can say nasty things about anything, so don't think you're some super hero for calling people names.

And honestly, don't you people have better things to do than read (and comment on) blogs you hate?
Quit wasting my (and your) time.

ubergirl

Quit Trying To "Save" Me.

I hate it when random people come up to me and ask me to cover my face.
It doesn't matter whether or not they were 'polite'.
It offends me.
I might be someone who believes that covering one's face is a Bid3a. They should all consider that before asking anyone to potentially do something they don't believe in.
How would all those people feel if I went around asking them/their wives to take their veils off because I personally think it's haram? (I'm not saying I do.)
However, I have noticed that veiled women commit Bid3as as a result of wearing a veil. They pray with it on, for example.

And more importantly; It's no one's business but mine what I dress like. I will not take these people's advice, nor will I ever appreciate it.

ubergirl

Rock Fest.

Thrusday I saw Reel Big Fish and 3 Doors Down live.
3 Fucking Doors Down!
I went to the Dubai Desert Rock Festival with LuLu (who actually wanted to wear pink! Ha!).
It was a blast.
My ears are still ringing and my voice still hasn't gone back to normal but it was worth it!
And it was one hell of a workout.
(Plus I got to top off my tan.)

I'm trying to post a picture of the stage but Blogger isn't cooperating.
I'll do it later.

ubergirl

P.S. Both bands ROCK live!

Update: Picture's up!

The "Prank"

Tuseday.
I was so exited when we parked next to the school.
I ran out of the car and right into the building.
I wasn't excited about the prank as much as I was happy to be back home!

My friends and I went into the building.
We walked into a class.
My old math teacher was giving a lesson to some bored looking girls.
"Hi! Guess what? WE'RE BACK!"
She smiled and said: "Oh, we've missed you girls! You really were a fun bunch, weren't you? Come right in! Take a seat, I'd love it if you joined us!"
What?
She's not annoyed.
We didn't ofcourse take that math class. (We don't miss high school that much, people.)

So we decided to cause some mayhem in the hallways. (Always fun!)
We were then joined by some juniors and freshmen who missed having 'the cool older seniors around!' (Don't you just love kiddies who look up to you!?)

We did make some noise and as I watched the vice principal walking briskly down the hallway to see what was going on, I felt a familiar rush.
My. God.
I cannot believe that woman still scares me.
"What on earth- Well well! If it isn't the class of 2005! How are you girls doing! We sure have missed you!"
She likes us now?
"And what are you girls doing out here? Shouldn't you be in class?" She asked the younger girls.
"Oh, come on! It isn't everyday we get a visit from the class of '05! Please let us stay here and hang out with them!"
"Oh.. Alright." She said with a smile.
"Just don't get yourselves into any trouble."
And she walked off.
And we hung out at school.
And no one made us leave.
And they were all 'so happy to see us!'
They miss the noise.
They miss the trouble. (We were kind of.. Umm.. Naughty, is how I'll put it.)
I got a pleasant little highschool experience.

I hate highschool.

ubergirl

More Things That Get My Blood Boiling.

I am pissed. Again.

First of all:
Those bimbos in head to toe green annoy me. They not only insist on wearing mathching 'patriotic' outfits all the fucking time, no. They want me to join them!
That is so gonna happen!

Patriotism is not in wearing a fucking wristband that says "Saudi Arabia is cool!".
Patriotism is working hard to make your country a better place.
Not by abusing janitors and littering and violence and chaos, girls! (And guys.)

This is something I truly despise.
I love God, and I love his Prophet (pbuh), but I don't think putting them on a goddamn bumper sticker proves anything. Especially not my loyalty.
And that also rings true for this 'patriotism' fad.

No, I will not wear a portrait of the king on a t-shirt.
And no, I will not sing the national anthem in the hallways and disrupt lectures.
Honestly, people!
GROW UP!

Secondly:
I am sick and tired of elitist foreigners making fun of Saudi Arabia.
No, women can't drive.
Yes, we have religious police who boss everyone around.
Yes, the sexes are segregated.
Yes, sexism is normal here.
No, women are not locked in tents untill they're "married off."
No, it does NOT "totally suck!" over here!
And NO, you/your country are/is NOT BETTER THAT ME/MY COUNTRY.
We all know everywhere on earth has it's problems, an I can guarantee you; I think all your problems are much worse than mine, so get over yourselves.

ubergirl

Teen Pregnancy, And "We Don't Wanna Grow Up!"

So today I was sitting in class waiting for a lecture to start, when some chick walks up to my friend (who was sitting next to me).
They apparently know eachother from somewhere.
My friend asked why she hasn't been coming to school lately.
"I just found out I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to not come to school at all for the next two weeks, but screw it. I'm not wasting anymore years, I want an education."

Ahem.

Why do people let things like this happen to them?!
Why is this girl even married!? She doesn't look old enough to be!
And why the fuck didn't she use protection!?


On a lighter note, my highschool friends and I have decided to pull a little prank.
On Tuesday, we're all going back to highschool garbed in our old uniforms, hauling book bags. We're gonna sit in what used to be our usual desks, and we shall flatly refuse to move.
We'll say "We don't like college and we're movin' back in. YEAH!"
Rock on!

What are they gonna do? Fail us in something? Call our parents!? Ha!
It's fool proof!
I shall let you know how it goes.

ubergirl

Randomness

I'm sitting at my computer.
Mocha is making me write this post.
I have nothing to say.
If you don't like it then send your hate mail to her.
I'm listening to my little brother tell my parents about a big fight some high schoolers had at his school.
It all sounds very dramatic and bloody.
My parents are concerned. I can feel it. It's hillarious.

My head is torturing me.
You're a spoilt brat.
You don't deserve half the things you have!
You don't deserve your friends.

I am a spoilt brat.
Get over it, head.

I feel better now.

I haven't cleaned my room in over sixty-five years. (Not really.)
I don't intend to.
And no, Mocha, You're not allowed to come over and do it for me. Go be freakishly organized at someone else's house.

ubergirl

I'm Not Apologizing. I'm Clearing Things Up.

All of what follows is directed at various people I love. The people who are in my life, the ones who, no matter what they do, will always be a part of me (unfortunately for them):

I know you don't like either one of my green dresses. Guess what?
I'm not giving them up.

I know you don't like it when my hair's 'in my face'.
I do. And I'm keeping it.

I know you wish I studied more. You wish I were more 'academic'. I'm not. I don't think it's safe to say I'll ever be 'academic'.

I know you wish I'd lose a few pounds.
Well, I'm not giving up chocolate. Nor ice cream.
And NO, I'm not switching to diet coke.

I know I can be a smart-ass. I guess you'll have to deal with it.

I know I sound arrogant sometimes. I honestly don't mean to be.

I do have a temper problem, maybe.
Let me just say; it's not my fault. I inherited it. Honest!
And I think it's fair to say it's under control now.
I think.

I might maybe be a bit moody sometimes, but I think I'm the easiest person you'll ever have to deal with.
What you see is what you get. You don't have to 'dig deep' or over analyze anything to know who I am and what I'm about.

I know it seems to you that I think everything's lame or cheesy or corny.
Oh, don't fucking kid yourself!
It is!

I might maybe offend a lot of (overly conservative, stick-up-their-ass) people, but come on! Overly conservative people were meant to be offended.

I am not the nicest person you will ever meet, but I'm probably the most honest.

I don't like it when people patronize me. It makes me be mean to them. When I say mean, I mean mean. (That sounded weird)

I don't like annoying sales people who think I'm blind and therefore are trying to sell me shit. I might be mean to them too.
Don't ever try to stop me being mean.

Thank you.
ubergirl

Ten Things I Like About Riyadh

Here it is.

I never thought I'd see the day.


1.Saks Fifth Avenue.
2.The public bathrooms are usually clean.
3.My house.
4.My family and friends.
5.People give you money every Eid. Both times.
6.You can get a tan in December.
7.I get payed to go to school.
8.The weather's dry so it doesn't make your hair go all frizzy.
9.There's not a lot of tall people.
10.Uuumm.... Kabsa?

ubergirl

Senior Citizens

Today I went to get an ID card.
I was not prepared for what I experienced.

I thought that by going at 7:30 in the morning I'd avoid the crowds and the long lines.
I hate it when I act all smart.

So I'm standing in line for 15 minutes, and then the largest old lady you can imagine comes up and tries to push me out of line!

I am being 100% serious.

"Excuse me, Ma'am! You need to stand at the end of the line! Ma'am! Please stop pushing me!"
"Oh, but I am an elderly lady," lady, indeed!
"and I have been here for a long time, just get out of my way!"

Please note that she and I were basically wrestling all through our pleasant little conversation.

"I said NO. I have to get to class after this! I will NOT be late because of you! Please, go away!"
Ahem.
Yeah. I said that to an old lady (while trying to pin her down. She is one strong mama.)
Don't give me that look! She was fucking asking for it.
And it worked, she went away.

Only to be followed by another (less violent) old lady.

What is it with the elderly and lines!? Why don't they just respect and follow rules!?

Here is a message to all old people:
No. I will not pity you.
Just because you're older, it does not mean you are all of a sudden above the rules that we common mortals must live by.

And no. I don't enjoy being mean to old people.
It was just this one time, I swear!


ubergirl

P.S: I know I promised you a "What I like about Saudi Arabia! Yaay!" rainbows and butterlies post, so sorry if anyone's disappointed. I'll do it next post! (Or... I'll try real hard to!)

Riyadh Fashion

Have I ever mentioned how I mentally give makeovers to everyone?
Yeah, I kinda do that.
So I was staring at all these clowns in tons of makeup, and then I got to thinking.
Why does everyone look the same?
It's depressing.
Bimbos with blush on their forheads in patriotic Abayas.
And don't get me started on the guys.
They think it's hot to give threatening looks to girls.
Yeah. Don't ask.
And why is there always one trend that everyone adheres to!?
Right now it's pale faces, mettalic bags, and stripper stilletos for the girls, while the guys are being nuisances in disgusting long hair and "ghetto fab" get-ups.
Idiots.
Saudi Arabia is seriously lacking in originality.


ubergirl

The 3ar6'a

The Saudi Arabian 'Ardha is a dance (I guess).
It's basically a bunch of men jumping up and down holding swords.
Last night I was at a party and they had traditional dancers who did a 'Ardha.
I think the 'Ardha is barbaric. Absolutley barbaric.
And it's horribly disturbing! (Not to mention dangerous)
Especially the part where there's some poor guy in the middle jerking around like he's possessed.
It's also quite awkward, in my opinoin. And it looks like a satanic rain dance of some sort.
But what I find truly appaling, is that it is a turn-on for most girls, and guys are impressed by it, for some reason.
But then again, we Arabs have always been violent, ay Westerners?
(I was being sarcastic with that last question.)


ubergirl

An Open Letter To Groups Of People Who Annoy Me

Yeah. I'm doing this again. You know you want me to! *wink*

Dear pseudo lesbians at KSU:
Stop it. You're not fooling anyone with your imaginary penis. Wallah.
Please stop trying to "turn" everyone "gay". Honestly, it's getting old.
We all know you're only doing this because you're sexually frustrated. We all are. But there is a magical cure for this. It is called 'masturbation'.
We all know that had there been guys at school, you'd be all over them.
So stop flirting with me and start dressing like a female, for fuck's sake.


Dear idiots who always appear next to my car when there is a red light and cannot stop picking your noses:
Do you intentionally stop next to me just to piss me off? Or are there really that many of you?
Are you some 'Save the trees!' enthusiast? Is that why you don't use tissues?

I'm assuming you're related to the guy that always spits in the street. Will you ask him something for me?
Why does he always open the door to spit out? Why not just spit out the window?


I'm pretty sure I'll come up with more later.
Watch this space.

ubergirl

Lock Me Up And Throw Away The Key!

Do you know that there is a special prison just for Royal Felons!?
I'm not even kidding.
Please allow me to quote the lovely creature who informed me of this "prison":
"I would fucking pay to be locked up there."

Enough said.
Now I understand those rumors about the prince who murdered the AlQuadi kid playing video games on the morning of his supposed execution.
They sound awfully thruth-like right about now.

This is making me sick!
When will there be justice in our beloved Kingdom!? I'm guessing in 847365029473626647 years.

ubergirl

Not Your Average Vday post. I'm Not Into That Crap.

Today I went to school to get some stuff done before the semester officially starts.
I kind of have a knack for meeting quite.. Strange people.
So I start talking to this girl, and she goes on about how she needs to do some Valetines day shopping..
Wait, here? In Riyadh!?
"Ah! Who's the lucky guy!?"
She looks at me all shy, and says: "My cousin! People don't approve of us seeing each other since he is my cousin and a year younger than I.. But one can't help what's in one's heart!
And the best thing about our relationship is that our parents are okay with it.. He even comes with us on vacations! It's great!"

And no, they're not ma56oobeen (engaged). I asked.

Hold on, did I miss something?
Was there some announcement that overly liberal parents were allowed to exist in this shit-hole?

I know it may seem strange to some people that cousins are dating.. But you have to understand that someone out right declaring their love for their Valentine is completely unheard of here!
She shared all that with a complete stranger!
I honestly cannot get over this...
We're Saudi, for God's sake!
Falling in love is 3aib!*

ubergirl

*I was being sarcastic. Get off my case.

Till Marriage Do Us Part

I sat down next to S5 and said "So are you gonna tell us or what!?"
She giggled.
And then she said it:
"I'm engaged! I'm getting married!!"
She had the biggest grin on her face and she was glowing.
"No you're not!" I laughed.
"Uhh.. Yeah.. I am."
LuLu and I looked at each other. I swear it was like the world stood still for a minute.
"Wow! Who's the poor guy? When's the big day?"
We bombarded her with questions and talked about everything from the dress to lingerie.

The initial shock has worn off, but.. Wow. I mean, this girl is like a sister to me.
Wow.
Is everything gonna change?
I'm so happy for her, and I love her like her hell, and I'm so excited and nervous and I don't want anything to change!
She said it wouldn't..
It won't change, right?

Right?

ubergirl

To My LuLu-Belle

LuLu I missed you!
And I'm sorry for being a bitch!

ubergirl

My Perfect Luvaaa

I got tagged; you know that “describe your perfect lover” tag?

Well, he has to be in a band.

Yeah, that’s about it.

Physically, he has to resemble any one of these guys:














If any one out there looks like/is one of the guys pictured above, drop me a line.

ubergirl

And thanks to Mocha for helping me out!

Home Again

I'm back, and I'm livid at the people of Saudi Arabia.

First off, (in general) we are lacking in originality! All the guys walk in gangs of identical hair (they're wearing it long now, God have mercy on our souls), and the girls are all in the same Abaya.
My God, get creative, people! What the hell is wrong with you!?
And I wish if they all insisted on dressing alike that they'd atleast don decent outfits! But noooo we Saudis have to look like complete idiots no matter what the cost!

Secondly, Dubai is turning into the second Beirut, God help me.
If you happen to have had dinner at the Marina recently you'd know what I'm talking about.
It's full to the brim with idiotic Saudis staring at each other.
That's it.
Just sitting and staring.
Oh, and they gossip.
They love their gossip!

Idiots!!
I am so over the youth of this Kingdom! Their brains contain nothing but useless information about that God damned Star Academy!

Everyone's so shallow and unengaging! (Yeah, I made that word up.)

If any young Saudiette/Saudi happen to come across this blog, here's a letter I wrote just for you!:

Dear Saudi girl:
Please stop being an airhead. Please consider watching a movie that does not star Orlando Bloom for once.
Please stop talking about people who don't wear a Abaya in Dubai. It's a free country. One is allowed to not wear a Abaya. Wallah.
You know what, just get a life and stop talking about other peoples'.

Dear Saudi boy:
Please start shaving as soon as you hit puberty. I beg of you. A fuzzy face and semi mustache does not flatter anyone, I promise.
Please don't wear beige and/or brown. Wallah you look like snot when you do.
Please don't wear the same color shoes as your shirt. It does not (contrary to popular belief) make you look stylish. Just stupid. And (again) idiotic.


ubergirl

Oh, and to all you Saudi guys, one more thing; in your dreams, you little (insert bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps).

Secularism And A Fatwa

Has anyone noticed that everyone's accused of being a 'secularist' nowadays?
I swear, first it was my dad, now it's my aunt. My aunt, for God's sake.
Saudis honestly need to get lives and stop handing out accusations to random people.
Not everyone believes in walking around in black stockings and gloves in the middle of August, or growing a beard.
It's so frustrating, because people not only actually care about the way other people live their lives, but they actually judge people and accuse them of secularism or ''not being religious enough''!

Also, a friend of mine told me that she was listening to one of our (two) radio stations, and a Sheikh was on some talk show. A caller asked him whether it was "Haram" (meaning forbidden in Islam) for a woman to read a newspaper.
I am trying very hard not to throw up right now.
And I'm not even finished telling this story.
The Sheikh replied with: "La mane' lildharoora." (Translated to: If there is a dire need for her to do so, then it is alright.)

If I ran the world, both the caller, the "Sheikh" and everyone involved in that show, would be tied to a tree, and a number of homeless people (the drunk ones with no teeth) would be employed to continuously spit on them for a number of days.
I would so be an awesome queen of the world!
Creative (and somewhat humorous) punishments, plus cleaning up the streets by giving homeless people jobs!
Did I not tell you I rocked!?

ubergirl

PS: It would be appreciated if anyone could recommend anything for me and my friends to do in Dubai.
Thanks!

Wasted Youth And A Fist Full Of Ideals

I've been depressed for quite some time now.
It might have something to do with the fact that I haven't gotten any sleep for almost three days. I think I'm officially an insomniac.

Today I met with some friends whom I love. But I sunk even deeper into my depression as a result of their tales of torment. I hate what this place does to people. Honestly, I wish you all could meet the girls I hang out with. They're the sweetest people you will ever meet. They're actually more like sisters than friends. Not many people get to break down, or goof off, or burst into tears infront of friends without feeling a little ashamed afterwards. I don't. These girls are amazing.
And I swear they're heros for what they have to put up with.
Every intelligent Saudi girl out there who goes through all this crap is a hero.

We talked about the whole camera phone issue.
Honestly some people need to get lives!
As many of you well know, over at this side of the world camera phones (which are barely legal in the first place) are not allowed at female gatherings.
No one wants their pictures "exposed"!
Why is this even an issue?
Why do people give a damn!?
And why are women the only ones affected by this "exploitation"?
Smart questions! Therefore answers are unavailable!
Want answers for: How many videos of girls getting raped or assaulted do you have on your phone?
Or: Did you see that picture of (insert female name here)!? The poor girl's been all over that Blue Tooth!
The good people of Saudi Arabia can answer these kinda questions, no problem!


It makes me sad to think of my wasted youth.
And everyone else's.

ubergirl


Oh, and I'm leaving for Dubai this Thursday.

Who The Hell Knows!

Don't you just hate people who think they know you?
There is not a specific idiot who inspired this post.. I'm just speaking in general.
A very important figure recently 'discovered' me.
Apparently, now I'm very smart.
A year ago I was the family air-head. (A very easy accomplishment, yes. You have not seen who I live with.)
Now I'm the "artsy one". The free spirit.
Okay, I am loving this new label, but I'm constantly afraid I'll disappoint.
That is besides the point, though.
Since I was crowned 'smart' by this unnamed figure, people have taken it upon themselves to discuss my future, and I don't get a say.
I think the final agreement was that I would maybe wind up writing a few books and then living in a beach house in some-where, Cali.
Yeah. My days of moshing are over, pal.

And then come the people who judge you based on the exterior. Joy.
Oh, but you look so sweet and innocent! How could you turn out to be so.. so.. not?
Everyone needs to get over themselves. Have you not heard of "Don't judge a book by it's cover!" and"Looks can be deceiving"?
The media have shoved those two sentences into everyone's head so many times... It's astounding no one's making sense out of them or applying them to everyday life.
Also, when do we truly know somebody?
I've known people my whole life, and I honestly cannot tell you I fully know anyone.
I mean, take your parents. They've been around all your life, right? You've probably lived with them 'till you turned 18, right?
Honestly, do you know your parents?
I know I don't!



ubergirl

Sexual Harassment and FutureMe

• Today I was taking part in a heated debate with one of my male relatives.

I have alot of respect for that guy, I think he's brilliant.
But today I proved my point; Men (especially Saudis) cannot in a million years understand the hell we women go through. He is quite the sophisticate, and he's very resonable and smart, but I won that battle! *Evil grin*
Ofcourse, the whole family had to get in on the action, and I ended up getting that tired "There are perverts all over the world! Don't be one of those idiots who thinks perversion is exclusive to Saudis!"

Ahem.

Sexual harassment is a crime all over the world. Authorities take action when notified of an indecent act in public. The assailant is usually arrested.
However, in Saudi Arabia, it is rather strange not to be sexualy harrased atleast five times a day (when you're a female). Two out of those five times infront of a policeman. Heck, the policeman might very well be doing the harrassing himself!
And that is the difference between sexual harassment in Saudi Arabia, and in the rest of the world. Here it is the unpunished norm. Every where else it is inacceptable.

Last summer in London I was having a delightful dinner with a few girl friends, when out of nowhere a rather drunk (Arab) man jumps one of the girls, shakes her violently, and whispers the most utterly disgusting things I have ever heard. Ofcourse I, being the drama queen that I am, ran into the restaurant demanding to see the manager. He came, and after hearing about what happened, he appologized a million times and placed a very large, scary looking man at the table next to ours to act as our body guard.

Here, a similar thing happens at almost every restaurant, almost every night, and the manager shrugs it off and says "You girls brought it on yourselves! Tsk tsk. Going out alone! You were almost begging that poor boy to assault you!"

• On a much lighter note, I have come across the most interesting page I've seen since, well, a few hours ago: FutureMe.org.

It's pretty much self explanatory.. You write an Email, and they send it to you whenever you want, whether that be a year or thirty years later. (Assuming you're using the same Email adress. I doubt you will be. Anyway, it's all in the name of fun, my good people!)
You can also browse random (anonymous) people's letters to their future selves (I desperately need a life, I know).
I have come across a few Gems:

"Hello to whoever is reading this. If you are in any way familiar my future self, I hope he isn't a total cockass. I also hope that he still thinks it is funny to use words like "cockass." Furthermore, I hope he is a pompous prick who uses words like "furthermore" in casual conversation. I have high expectations for myself."

"µ¹2010¦~ªº¦Û¤v¡G«¢«¢«¢~§A¦n§r~18·³¬J§Ú~ÁÙ°O±o¤µ¤Ñ¬O¤°»ò¤é¤l¹À~?! (§Ñ°O¤F´N¤£­n·Q°_) ²{¦b¦³¦ñ¤F¨S¦³~?!¬O¤£¬O05¦~4Aªº±i¬Y~!? (¥Õ·ö)XXD"

"Hope your lazy ass got a job by now. If not, kill yourself. Now.

...

Now."

My letter to my future self was alot less.. Errr... Colorful.


ubergirl

Sneak2, You Will Be Missed

I don't know if anyone residing in Saudi Arabia has noticed, but Sneak2 has been banned.
Now how am I gonna get my weekly fix of porn!?
Did I just say that out loud?
Oops.
Carry on.

Honestly though, don't you just hate those jackasses at ISU?
I know I do.

Now, this post is nothing but a desperate plea; To anyone residing outside of this wretched place.. Hell, to the exraordinarily lovely people who run Sneak2 themselves..
Help us!
We need another genius bypassing-blocks-and-firewalls site!
I beg of you!
Perhaps a Sneak to: Operation Saudi Arabia.
(Notice the to. Trust me, those idiots at ISU will be none the wiser.)

Wouldn't that be marvelous!

Pretty please?

Your most dedicated fan:
ubergirl

Update!
Ladies and gentlemen, approximatley 66.09 seconds after I made this post, Sneak2 was brought back to life!
It's a miracle!
Man, I'm powerful! (Or would like to think so.)

Oh.
Two minutes later it's blocked again.
They like to tease, those ISUers.

Man, Am I Weird.

Tagged by $uper Mo:

List six weird things about yourself.

#1 I consider myself a groupie.

#2 I broke my nose twice, and have no intention of getting plastic surgery to fix it! I love my crooked nose!

#3 I cannot handle physical pain. Seriously. I know you're thinking this contradicts #2, and how did I get through two broken noses?
The answer is I don't know. I don't know how I got through it. I don't even remember that pain, man.
All I know is I physically cannot handle pain.

#4 I inherited a gum problem from my father. I will not delve into gory details, but I have a dead person's gums sewed on top of my (nonexistant) ones.

#5 I come from a family of whiners. We all whine like there's no tomorrow!

#6 We have a cat that does not Meow. I think its vocal chords are missing or something. Poor Figaro.
My parents love the whole 'silent pet' concept, though.

Weird enough?

ubergirl

Rajaa's On My TV!

Last night there was interview with Rajaa' Al-Sanea on TV. It was the first time I'd ever seen/heard her actually speak out about her book, or anything else.
I love that girl, I honestly do, and I respect her like hell.
But to tell you the truth, I was not impressed.

First off; the reason I hate Arabic television was clearly demonstared on the show she was on last night: The interview was well over an hour (way too long in my book), they asked the same questions approximately 54.7 billion times (and she answered them all that many times as well), and they did not at all justly depict the people who hated her work.
All they did was talk to Lebanese people who love her, and a select few Saudis who love her, too.
And when they did read the Anti-Rajaa emails, they read the most ridiculous, non relevant accusations against her! Not her book, her!
That is not what I want to see!
I want to see her in a heated (yet sophisticated) debate with an accomplished, conservative book critic! I want to see some ass-whoopin'!
I don't want to see her being all cute and giggling at accusations of secularism and non-patriotism!

Another thing that disappointed me was that she wasn't as honest as I imagined she would be.
She was so Saudi-ishly politically correct! Ew!
I'm not saying she should work towards social exile (which looks quite appealing to me right about now..), I'm just saying she's gone all out and written a controversial book, and everything that can be said about her has already been said! Why not go all the way!? To hell with conventionalism! Screw 'em!
She shouldn't have played it safe all that much.

Please allow me to quote some of Rajaa' Al-Sanea's more interesting satements throughout last night's nightmarish excuse of an interview: (My comments are in blue)

"We live in a male dominant society, and we're trying to change that. And this male dominancy is why people are against me."
"..We're trying to change that.."?
Last I heard I still can't drive.
Why isn't she honest enough to say "Things are still pretty bad out there."
Why this desperate need to sugar coat everything!?

When asked which of the characters in her book she relates to most, she replied with a giggle and: "I hate that question!"
My God. How lame is that!
I seriously have nothing more to say.

"The book is pure fiction, from beginning to end. There is, however, a small portion that is based on non-fiction, and that is something I will never reveal."

Then why the hell mention it if you're not gonna tell us what it is!? Lameness on a stick.

"The people of Saudi Arabia do not easily accept what is new and different."
You got that right sister. They also cannot accept honesty.

What a sad excuse of a society I live in.

The very disappointed,
ubergirl

Science Sucks

The scientists of planet earth are not wroking hard enough!
They're not!
Want proof?
Here you go!:

1. They put a man on the moon, but they cannot produce a bra that is not only comfortable, but also does not make one's boobage look retarded.

2. They made it possible for me to pick up the phone, dial a number, and speak to someone residing in Antarctica, but they cannot find a one minute cure for acne. (No, Benzoyl Peroxide doesn't count! It doesn't work like they say it does.)

3. I can have my whole music library in my pocket, but I cannot pop a pill that makes me remember what a Mamnoo' min al sarf is, or when the second world war took place.

4. They can do a face transplant, but they still haven't found a cure for cancer or aids.

5. We have cars, airplanes, and rockets, but we don't have bubble gum that never looses it's flavour.

6. They have made it possible for people to have 60 inch flat screen TVs, surround sound, theatre quality speakers, and yet they connot creat a scratch resistant DVD, or for that matter a DVD player that lasts for over 2 years.

7. We do not have one medication that does not have horrible side effects.

8. They can create a human clone, and yet they haven't succeeded in creating a garment that does not shrink in the wash (or lose it's color), and does not stain.

9. We have diet pills, but there is no sure fire one minute no fuss absolute cure for the flu.

10. We can't make fat-free brownies that are edible.

ubergirl

Sexism and The Kingdom

I find it strange that every successful Saudi woman is hated by the whole of this kingdom.
Why?
I'll tell you why. It's because the authorities have brainwashed everyone into thinking women were not meant to have lives, or do anything productive.
Examples:

Rajaa Al-Sanea. Now I'm sure most of you are thinking; Yeah, we hate her for a reason!
But take everything the media and the people are telling you, and put it aside.
Why do you hate her, again?
The woman wrote a book. A very successful book. She wrote a book called "Riyadh Girls".
People think she exaggerated, generalized.
News flash!!: All writers exagerate and generalize. No one would sell any books if they didn't!
Also, if you think about it, she didn't exaggerate that much.
She took the truth, and wrote it down. I know Saudis are used to sugar coating everything, but this woman had the guts to tell the truth.
She didn't give us her opinion. She just spoke the truth in the form of a story, and yet, people are offended by her book.
Why?
And let us not forget; this is the woman that singlehandedly made thousands of people flock to bookstores and actually pick up a book and read.
Admirable, at worst.

Lubna Al-Olayan. A very successful buisiness woman. CEO of Olayan Financing Company. She's making tons o'cash.
But we Saudis have to say something negative. (She is a woman, afterall.)
She got all kinds of crap for appearing unveiled at the Jeddah Economic Forum in 2004. She was wearing a head scarf, damn it!
But to us Saudis, her "behaviour" was shameful.
Isn't she old enough to decide whether or not she wants to cover her face?
Not according to the people (and written media) of Saudi Arabia!
Shame on her. Not covering her face while giving a speech! The nerve!

I'm over this.

ubergirl

The Man In The Niquab

My cousin and I were standing infront of a stack of CDs in Bahrain's Euphoria, and out of nowhere this woman we have never seen before, walks up to us, points to another woman who's garbed in head-to-toe black, (abaya, Niquab, the whole deal) and says: "See that woman over there? In the Niquab? That there is Michael Jackson!"

So I got to meet Michael Jackson. No shit.

He was really nice. He liked my blue nail polish and he kept saying "God bless you, God bless you!"
He asked us not to tell anyone it was him. Apparently he doesn't want people knowing it's him.
You see, it's completely normal to see a tall woman with pale, pale hands in a Niquab, abaya, and huge sunglasses indoors, at 8 in the evening, walking around with an army of nannies, (yes, we saw two of his kids, minus the bags over their heads. Pretty good-looking kids, actually.) and a gang of personal assistants. Not suspisious looking at all.
I got an autographed CD. Shall post a picture of it when I figure out how. And when I actually take one.


I need to go pack. We're leaving in a few hours.

ubergirl

(For those of you who don't know, a Niquab is a face cover.)

At A Saudi Wedding

I just got back from a wedding.
In the car my mother said "We'll go in, say hi to the mother of the bride, pretend we're having the time of our lives, and leave. It'll only take an hour, tops."
I inherited my mother's lack of interest in Saudi style weddings. I cannot say it bothers me that I did.
We walked in.
Everyone looks the same. It's not even amusing.
Every one's in pink/orange/blue leopard print. Every one's boobs are hanging out. And everyone is wearing red nail polish. It's trendy now, don'tcha know.
You have to understand the expense that goes into these events. The dresses, the jewelery, the band, the food.. Not to mention what people pay to get their (indentical) hair and make up done! I decided long ago that I would not spend a riyal on hair or makeup. Total waste of money, really. The whole God damned event.
My mother and I had to say hi to a whole bunch of people I don't know and couldn't care less about if you payed me.
They all said the exact same things in their identical outfits and hairstyles; "Remember me!?" To which I'm thinking 'How the fuck do you know my name, you fuck up?' But ofcourse, I contort my face into a polite/confused/trying to remember expression.
"MashaAllah! 3aroosa!" (Translated to 'You look lovely, a bride!')
In Saudi Arabia people say 'you look like a bride!' as a compliment. You see, I know little girls (and women) all over the world are brain washed into wanting to get married, but in Saudi Arabia it is particularly sickening.
When someone says I look like one I think 'No, I certainly do not look like a 3aroosa (bride), and I never, ever will.'
As I sat there watching people's heads bob up up and down while dancing in the aisle to horrible Tagg music; for the first time in my life I was happy that I don't belong. For the first time ever, I liked that I'm different.

ubergirl


(Update: I'm leaving for Bahrain tomorrow. I think I'll be back on Sunday though. I'm not too sure. I just realized this update is virtually useless. Sorry. Carry on with your lives.)

Stop Calling Me!

Okay, why is everyone obsessed with phone calls!? They waste time, money, and fucking brain cells. Scientifically proven!
If you call me, and I don't pick up, it means I don't think your call is important enough for me to take.
It does not mean leave me another five missed calls, and it definitely does not mean try calling my house.
If I say 'Sorry, I misplaced my phone' ,or 'My phone wasn't with me at the time' or anything else, there's a very good chance I'm lying to you.
Why, you want to know? Why don't I just pick up!?
I'll tell you why! Do you know when the last time I had a decent, productive phone conversation was?
Never.
That's right. Never. And I very much doubt I ever will.
So, let me give you a crash course in phone call 'etiqquette':
Rule #1 Never, ever call without texting first. Send me a text message with all the wonderful, glorious facts you wish to shove into my brain. If I think whatever it is you want might be of some value to me, I'll call back.
Rule #2 Do not ring once and hang up, expecting me to call you back because you "Don't want to run up your phone bill". That is just rude. If you can't handle the simple task of controlling your phone bill, then you are irresponsible, and you do not deserve to have a cell phone.
Rule #3 When I say I'm busy, I mean I'm fucking busy. I don't care that you just want five seconds of my time. I'm busy.
Rule #4 If you want to talk to me, talk to me in person. What happened to good old fashioned face to face conversations, for God's sake!?

That is all for now.
And no, I will not be calling anyone back.

ubergirl