Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I Don't Want To Die Either

A little boy pointed at a picture of my grandfather and asked me why he died.
I am the worst person in the world to have the 'death talk' with a child. Sex talk I can do, but this...

"So that God can take him to heaven."
"Why did God want to take him to heaven?"
"Okay... Listen up. Everyone dies. We're all gonna die someday. And it was just Grandpa's time to go."
"We're all gonna die?"

What do these mothers teach their kids! Oy!

"Yes. We're aaaaallll going to die one day."
"Even me?"
"After a very long, wonderful life, yes."
"Bass ana ma ab3'a amoot... Abi ag3id hina 3indikom." (But I don't want to die... I want to stay here with all of you.)
"Okay then! You won't die sweety!"

  • I ruined a perfectly cheesy Chicken Soup Moment.
  • I promised a child that he would not die.
  • I failed to explain that people are happier when they die. (That's what they're telling kids these days, right?)
  • I promised a child that he would not die.

He's like, four. And he's now worried he'll die.

Oh, well.



ren_crow said...

Well technically u didn't really promise him that he wouldn't die.

But yea it was probably better not to have brought that kind of thing up.

U should have taken the usual 'story' method lol. Where u tell him that oh grandpa just went to a very far place..etc etc

But don't feel bad seriously. If u want u could do something for him to make him feel better.
He's 4 years old, he'll just forget about it after a while.

wastedchix said...

i say good job in tellin him the truth ...lying to children is BULL SH**!!! he needs to know and he's 4!! mashalla rajal looool
and i suggest u do it old school ...u know, tell him u will die only if u'r NAUGHTY!! ...his mama will lovvvvvvvve u ...

Nuri said...

I remember one of my teachers told me, when I was little that God wanted all good people around him. So when He felt someone was really really good it was time to go. Sort of like picking ripe fruit. Well, I certainly never felt like behaving like a good girl again! I thought well, let HIM wait.

!n$@n!tY said...

you know you kinda suck with kids.

Really suck.


zahrat ilma6ba5 said...

I talked to him about it..I told him if you're reaally really good god will take u and the ppl u love to he grinned o started jumping o 5arabee6..mit7ammis 3ala inno ymoot

ubergirl87 said...

Lol! Mona you fixed him! Yay!

$uper MO said...

loool..but sometimez kidz can't just stop askin questions!! so it's not our fault (adults) if we can't answer their stupid, continuous questions.. right?! ;) < obviously, i'm not a huge fan of kidz :s

Mochness said...

Smooth move, Uber...real smooth :P

Abu Sinan said...

No worries, all kids go through that eventually anyways. It isnt like you did the "Exorcist" thing, turned your head around 360 degrees and told him you wanted to drag him to hell.

Save that one for Halloween.

!n$@n!tY said...

ok, so what am I supposed to tell a kid if he asks me how he was born ? =s

mona said...

tell him
سعبولة طلعت من ظهر بابا و نطت جوا بطن ماما ((من سرها)) النهاية..

kay said...

It's funny 'cause I think of death being something we are all born with inate knowledge of. I can't remember learning I was going to die. If you think 'of course you can't you were only tiny' know I can remember the first day I ever spoke and having my nappy changed (that's a diaper changed for all the yanks reading this).
Someone said we never learn we only remember, but 5 can't remember who that was.

kay said...

I mean 'I can't remember who it was.' :-)

A Daydreamer said...

damn. that wouldve been hard for me. i wouldve prob. changed the subject lol

Anonymous said...

That was really wrong. Everybody has to accept that life eventually ends, and it is much healthier to learn earlier than later. Plus if you beleive in a 'heaven', a 'paradise', then why should you have to lie in the first place?
I think its because deep down you know that there is nothing after this. Once your body stops funcioning, and the neurons in your brain stop firing, you are gone. Forever. Not to some magical place in the sky, but in the ground, to decay and add to the cycle of life.
If more people can accept this, there would be much less needless death in this world. No more 'martyrs' blowing themselves up, believing they are going to paradise, and no more holy wars.

Anonymous said...

Epicurus, "Letter to Menoeceus," 3rd century BC

"Grow accustomed to the belief that death is nothing to us, since every good and evil lie in sensation. However, death is the deprivation of sensation. Therefore, correct understanding that death is nothing to us makes a mortal life enjoyable, not by adding an endless span of time but by taking away the longing for immortality. For there is nothing dreadful in life for the man who has truly comprehended that there is nothing terrible in not living. Therefore, foolish is the man who says that he fears death, not because it will cause pain when it arrives but because anticipation of it is painful. What is no trouble when it arrives is an idle worry in anticipation. Death, therefore -- the most dreadful of evils -- is nothing to us, since while we exist, death is not present, and whenever death is present, we do not exist. It is nothing either to the living or the dead, since it does not exist for the living, and the dead no longer are."

ubergirl87 said...

I believe in heaven and the afterlife with all of my heart.
The only reason I don't want to die is because I don't want to leave my family and friends.
I am in NO WAY afraid of dying. I just would rather not.

I am 18 years old. I cannot possibly explain to a child that one day his parents will be gone (along with everyone else he loves) and then he'll just die. I can't explain it without making it seem scary. He also caught me offguard. I wasn't at all in the mind set to talk about death.

Anonymous said...

ubergirl, so you belive you'll go to heaven eh. People who have been in an accident and lost parts of their brain can practially become completely different if they survive. Did one part of them go to heaven? Will they be themselves again when they go to heaven? No, the truth is that if a part or all the neural networks in your brain is destroyed, it will be gone forever.

Anonymous said...

There may be a God, but no heaven and no hell, only death. For a famous example of personality changes that can be caused by traumatic head injury, see this article on wikipedia:

ubergirl87 said...

Heaven and the afterlife have nothing to do with organs and limbs. When you die your soul goes to either heaven or hell, depending on what you did during your lifetime.
I personally believe in God, heaven and hell.

You reeeaaalllyyy need to learn not to impose your beliefs on people. You're (an) atheist(s), apparently.
You choose to believe one thing, and I choose to believe another.
I respect the choice that you have made, and since I am not forcing my beliefs upon you, I only ask that you not belittle mine, and atleast try to have some respect yourself.

Anonymous said...

I belive that science adequately describes the brain as a basis for conciousness and personality without the need for a soul. You're entitled to belive otherwise of course :)

nice blog btw

Dima said...

Why the literal interpetation of heaven and hell? Heaven and hell are just metaphors for the inner-peace of being a fundamentally good human being. That sense of humanity IS heaven.
Incidently, I disagree with Epicuris. "the deprivation of sensation" is more terrifying to man than all the pain in the world. Mankind may avoid being in pain, but what he fears most is not being. Not existing. Hence man's quest for immoratlity and the "after-life"

Anonymous said...

Death is inevitable. Whatever occurs to us after death is an uncertainty.

I believe in telling kids the truth all the time. It's not fair to them, and besides, a child's "innocence" is really due to ignorance. They'll eventually get over it.