Monday, August 28, 2006

"God Protect Me From Your "Followers""

I hate Abayas.
Stupid Hay'a sticking us in black Abayas. As if it weren't hot enough in Saudi Arabia!

I hate hate haaate the Hay'a.
I realize they're trying to be "religious", but I don't understand why they're trying to impose their "religion" upon everyone else! It's just so... Uncivilized!
I don't go around sharing my views on facial hair with them! I don't tell their wives and daughters and sisters and whoever the hell else they "own" how to dress and how to act and what to think!
They make us all do what they think is "right", and I think what they think is "right" is in fact wrong wrong wrong.
And let's not forget that the only thing in life that matters is what I, ubergirl, think. Just pretend you agree with that last sentence. I believe it. Please don't ruin that for me.

Why the hell do we listen to them? Why am I fucking scared of them!? It should be the other fucking way around! I know they've been given power, but who the fuck cares!
My highschool principle had power, I didn't give a shit. No-one gave a shit.
I hate the Hay'a so much.


Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If You're Offended By This Then I Mean YOU.

Gentlemen, (or should I just be honest and call you complete wastes of oxygen and all other resources?)
Stalking me will not get you my number. It might provoke an outburst (which I will find theraputic and you will find excruciatingly embarrassing.) It will certainly trigger disgust, and pity, but absolutely nothing more, you perverts.
Being rude doesn't make you more of a "man", fucktard.
I will only ever give you the time of day when you are my intellectual equals. That's right, kids. NEVER.
So I suggest you give up and take on something more productive, like knitting (it's quite simple, don't worry.)

Try to grow a few feet while you're shopping at Burberry. And shave, you disgusting pigs. Everywhere. You look like Yetis.
Animal noises are not in the least attractive, you neanderthals.

And you're only rude to us Arab girls. Banat baladkum. Hatha badal ma t3amlooni zay o5tikum. Lazim anadee ilsecruty guard ilbree6ani 3ahsan ysa3idni 3alaikom. Wallah 3aib.
That, I will never understand.
I will, however, keep pointing it out to you.


Saturday, August 19, 2006

The Number You Have DIaled Cannot Be Reached...

I dislike AlJawwal and Saudi Telecom.
They are such assholes.
Expensive assholes.

If you work for them (or own them), please Email me.
We need to have a discussion.


(don't worry, my fellow 3umala2 (customers) I'll give them an ass kicking they won't soon forget.)
Long live Mobily!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Muhamadiyah Attack

Things that frustrate me have been popping up out of no where this past week.
Take, for instance, this.
Why is that story still in the news?
It happened 10 years ago.
Not to mention it is her parent's fault.

Whereas, this is rarely mentioned in the news.

You know, the story of how four of the soldiers who are fighting for the freedom of Iraq raped a 14 year old girl and then murdered her along with the rest of her family.*
This is apparently one of many cases we haven't heard the details of.
I'm sure it's all to do with stopping the terrrissts from acquiring new-key-ler weapons.
Seriously, why is that not in the news all the time?
It sure as hell deserves to be!
I would very much like to see those soldiers trialed and senteced in Iraqi courts.

What is wrong with everyone!?
Why isn't anyone outraged? Why are American soldiers still in Iraq? They aren't happy there, and niether are the Iraqis! Get them back to their homes!
If I were American I'd demand that American soldiers be brought back home.
Honestly, let the Arabs sort out their own mess. No one asked America to police the world!

But I'm not American, I'm Arabic.
And I hate what's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan and Palestine.
And there's absolutely nothing I can do.
I hate not being able to fix things.
It's so frustrating!

And so the never-ending circle of frustration continues.


*Again: No offence to the Americans. I just don't like your government very much.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

My One Hundredth Post

I don't want anyone to congratulate me. Save yourself the effort.
Instead I want everyone to watch this.
Please please please, watch this video with an open mind.
Actually listen to what George Galloway is saying. Listen.

George Galloway is a Rockstar.


Saturday, August 12, 2006

A Few Of My Experiences With Arab Men, Part One

There is a group of Moroccans who make a point to shout "Habeebi!" (Darling!) whenever we pass by them. I hear it almost three times a week.
What is that about?

No, seriously?

I was having lunch with my sister today, we were both reading.
Now normally, when someone is reading, it is like they have a large 'Do Not Disturb' sign magically hanging over them, isn't it?
Not to the Arab male, apparently.
"Those men have been staring at us for the past half hour."
I look up and catch one's eye. He points at his friend who is walking over to us.
"Marhaba!" (Greetings!)
"Are you Arabic?"
I am tempted to say (in Arabic) "No, we are Vietnamese.", but decide I am not in the mood for this 60 something year old man to think I'm being cute.
"Uhh... Yes. We're Saudi."
"I knew it! I have been arguing that you are Arabic with those gentlemen over there. They think you're Italian."
"Yeah. We're not." I smile and go back to my book.
I look up and he's still there, leaning on our table.
"I am Dr.WhoGivesAShitWhatHisNameIs, from Syria."
"And... Where in Saudi Arabia do you live."
My sister says, "The capital." with out looking up from her book.
"Ahh! We lived there for almost 20 years! From 19HowTheFuckIsThis to 19UsefulToMe?!"
"That's before we were even born."
"Hoho! Yes it is!"
"Are you girls here on vacation?"
"Is your family here with you?"
"Do you study here?"
"Where do you study?"

Why has this clown not left yet? I think two minutes later.

"Who is your father?"
"Excuse me?"
"What is the name of your father?"
I ignore him.
"Where do you live? What street?"
"Sir, you came here wanting to know whether we were Arabic, now you know. I don't see how any of your other questions are relevant."
He starts blubbering about how he didn't want to cause us any 'inconvenience.'
Well, he has.
And no, curiosity doesn't justify any of his questions. I was polite enough to answer a few, but he is still one of the most annoying people I have ever come across.

Lastly is a little Saudi boy (the ones who have green mustaches) that follows us everywhere and knows exactly where we are at all times.
Without anyone even paying him.
He is usually seen with his gang of teenage boys, making a fool of himself.
All very exciting, I assure you.


Oh, and happy birthday LuLu!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Why Isn't The World Saying Anything?

One thing I wil never ever ever understand is why the whole world stands by and lets things like the war in Lebanon happen.
I can't believe no one's forcing Israel into a cease fire.
They are pulling children out of the rubble.

The whole concept of war is something I will never understand, either.
Growing up, they teach you that conflict is solved the "adult way" by talking things over.
And yet here we are, in the 21st century bombing the hell out of everything. (We, as in humans.)
Why are weapons even made?
Guns, bombs, the whole deal.
There is absolutely no need for any of it.

And if we're going to accuse Iran of supplying weapons to Hizbullah, we should also look into America supplying Israel with weapons. It is also supplying African countries (including Sierra Lione) with weapons, fueling the civil war.*
Or is that "different"?
I'll bet it is.

I know nothing about war, politics, or casualties, but I find it strange that over 700 people (30-40% of them children) have been killed in almost 4 weeks. I find it stranger that Israel is doing all of this because of two hostages, who are soldiers.
What I find even stranger still, is that Hizbullah are the only people who have pointed out that Israel has thousands of civillian hostages. No one seems to be paying much attention to that little fun fact.

No matter how I look at this, Hizbollah are in the right. Whether I watch Al-Jazeera or CNN, I come to the same conclusion.
I know in matters like this there is no "wrong" and "right", but in this particular case it is glaringly obvious.
I wish no harm upon the Israelis, Americans, or anyone else, but I'd like to state clearly that Hizbullah are in the right.
Again: I am completely opposed to war, and the killing of innocent people.
I'm just stating what I have concluded.

War is a fucker.
Let's all play nice.


*No offence to the Americans, but your government does do that stuff. It doesn't make you bad people, it just means I personally am not too fond of your government.
I'm not too fond of mine, either, but that's a whooole 'nother post.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Yay for Italy!

The day Italy won the world cup was fun.
Italians are partiers.
I was kind of sort of rooting for France in the beginning.
Only because of Zedane, though.
That man oozes sex appeal.

When Italy won I cheered like my life counted on it.
Because I'm a backstabber and all I care about is winning.
What's it to you, butt munch?
(I'm paying homage to Beavis and Butthead because I love them for being the only show on German TV that is subtitled and not voice-overed. DADADAAAA!!)

We wore flags as capes and ran around the streets of London shouting "ITALIA!" at French passer-by.
We did get the occasional "Fook off.", and what I'm sure was a string of French obscenities, to which a "Haha. Don't be bitter about loosing, budd. It's only football!" was an appropriate retaliation.
Otherwise "You fuck off! You're the ones that lost! HAH!" worked, too.

And the Italians... Boy do I love y'all.
You weren't nasty when you found out we weren't Italian.
And you were even nice enough to let us keep pretending we were.
We fooled a hell of a lot of people.

Haha. Some guy came charging over to us, picked up Mona and just ran off.
It was fucking hillarious.

She didn't think it was so funny.
This is, though.
Mona you fucktard you're funny like shite, you know that?

The Italians are so charming.
Honestly, they are.
I'm not big on the accent, but when they force you into posing for their cameras by saying "Hey Byootifilla girrlss! Bella! Come take-a pik-churr! Bella!"
You find yourself asking: "Beautiful!? Really??.."
Instead of the customary kick in the balls and "Get the fuck off me, pervert! Officer! This man is harassing me!"
I don't know how they do it. Magic is my guess.

When it comes to accents, the French win hands down.
They can make the most idiotic- even disgusting- statements sound sexy.
"My sokss are' wett."
Yummy. I think I'm in love.

So there you have it.
The Italians may have won the World Cup, but the French have sexier accents.

If I ruled the world, it would so be cool.
I just felt like saying that.