Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Secularism And A Fatwa

Has anyone noticed that everyone's accused of being a 'secularist' nowadays?
I swear, first it was my dad, now it's my aunt. My aunt, for God's sake.
Saudis honestly need to get lives and stop handing out accusations to random people.
Not everyone believes in walking around in black stockings and gloves in the middle of August, or growing a beard.
It's so frustrating, because people not only actually care about the way other people live their lives, but they actually judge people and accuse them of secularism or ''not being religious enough''!

Also, a friend of mine told me that she was listening to one of our (two) radio stations, and a Sheikh was on some talk show. A caller asked him whether it was "Haram" (meaning forbidden in Islam) for a woman to read a newspaper.
I am trying very hard not to throw up right now.
And I'm not even finished telling this story.
The Sheikh replied with: "La mane' lildharoora." (Translated to: If there is a dire need for her to do so, then it is alright.)

If I ran the world, both the caller, the "Sheikh" and everyone involved in that show, would be tied to a tree, and a number of homeless people (the drunk ones with no teeth) would be employed to continuously spit on them for a number of days.
I would so be an awesome queen of the world!
Creative (and somewhat humorous) punishments, plus cleaning up the streets by giving homeless people jobs!
Did I not tell you I rocked!?


PS: It would be appreciated if anyone could recommend anything for me and my friends to do in Dubai.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Wasted Youth And A Fist Full Of Ideals

I've been depressed for quite some time now.
It might have something to do with the fact that I haven't gotten any sleep for almost three days. I think I'm officially an insomniac.

Today I met with some friends whom I love. But I sunk even deeper into my depression as a result of their tales of torment. I hate what this place does to people. Honestly, I wish you all could meet the girls I hang out with. They're the sweetest people you will ever meet. They're actually more like sisters than friends. Not many people get to break down, or goof off, or burst into tears infront of friends without feeling a little ashamed afterwards. I don't. These girls are amazing.
And I swear they're heros for what they have to put up with.
Every intelligent Saudi girl out there who goes through all this crap is a hero.

We talked about the whole camera phone issue.
Honestly some people need to get lives!
As many of you well know, over at this side of the world camera phones (which are barely legal in the first place) are not allowed at female gatherings.
No one wants their pictures "exposed"!
Why is this even an issue?
Why do people give a damn!?
And why are women the only ones affected by this "exploitation"?
Smart questions! Therefore answers are unavailable!
Want answers for: How many videos of girls getting raped or assaulted do you have on your phone?
Or: Did you see that picture of (insert female name here)!? The poor girl's been all over that Blue Tooth!
The good people of Saudi Arabia can answer these kinda questions, no problem!

It makes me sad to think of my wasted youth.
And everyone else's.


Oh, and I'm leaving for Dubai this Thursday.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Who The Hell Knows!

Don't you just hate people who think they know you?
There is not a specific idiot who inspired this post.. I'm just speaking in general.
A very important figure recently 'discovered' me.
Apparently, now I'm very smart.
A year ago I was the family air-head. (A very easy accomplishment, yes. You have not seen who I live with.)
Now I'm the "artsy one". The free spirit.
Okay, I am loving this new label, but I'm constantly afraid I'll disappoint.
That is besides the point, though.
Since I was crowned 'smart' by this unnamed figure, people have taken it upon themselves to discuss my future, and I don't get a say.
I think the final agreement was that I would maybe wind up writing a few books and then living in a beach house in some-where, Cali.
Yeah. My days of moshing are over, pal.

And then come the people who judge you based on the exterior. Joy.
Oh, but you look so sweet and innocent! How could you turn out to be so.. so.. not?
Everyone needs to get over themselves. Have you not heard of "Don't judge a book by it's cover!" and"Looks can be deceiving"?
The media have shoved those two sentences into everyone's head so many times... It's astounding no one's making sense out of them or applying them to everyday life.
Also, when do we truly know somebody?
I've known people my whole life, and I honestly cannot tell you I fully know anyone.
I mean, take your parents. They've been around all your life, right? You've probably lived with them 'till you turned 18, right?
Honestly, do you know your parents?
I know I don't!


Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sexual Harassment and FutureMe

  • Today I was taking part in a heated debate with one of my male relatives.

I have alot of respect for that guy, I think he's brilliant.
But today I proved my point; Men (especially Saudis) cannot in a million years understand the hell we women go through. He is quite the sophisticate, and he's very resonable and smart, but I won that battle! *Evil grin*
Ofcourse, the whole family had to get in on the action, and I ended up getting that tired "There are perverts all over the world! Don't be one of those idiots who thinks perversion is exclusive to Saudis!"


Sexual harassment is a crime all over the world. Authorities take action when notified of an indecent act in public. The assailant is usually arrested.
However, in Saudi Arabia, it is rather strange not to be sexualy harrased atleast five times a day (when you're a female). Two out of those five times infront of a policeman. Heck, the policeman might very well be doing the harrassing himself!
And that is the difference between sexual harassment in Saudi Arabia, and in the rest of the world. Here it is the unpunished norm. Every where else it is inacceptable.

Last summer in London I was having a delightful dinner with a few girl friends, when out of nowhere a rather drunk (Arab) man jumps one of the girls, shakes her violently, and whispers the most utterly disgusting things I have ever heard. Ofcourse I, being the drama queen that I am, ran into the restaurant demanding to see the manager. He came, and after hearing about what happened, he appologized a million times and placed a very large, scary looking man at the table next to ours to act as our body guard.

Here, a similar thing happens at almost every restaurant, almost every night, and the manager shrugs it off and says "You girls brought it on yourselves! Tsk tsk. Going out alone! You were almost begging that poor boy to assault you!"

  • On a much lighter note, I have come across the most interesting page I've seen since, well, a few hours ago: FutureMe.org.
It's pretty much self explanatory.. You write an Email, and they send it to you whenever you want, whether that be a year or thirty years later. (Assuming you're using the same Email adress. I doubt you will be. Anyway, it's all in the name of fun, my good people!)
You can also browse random (anonymous) people's letters to their future selves (I desperately need a life, I know).
I have come across a few Gems:

"Hello to whoever is reading this. If you are in any way familiar my future self, I hope he isn't a total cockass. I also hope that he still thinks it is funny to use words like "cockass." Furthermore, I hope he is a pompous prick who uses words like "furthermore" in casual conversation. I have high expectations for myself."

"µ¹2010¦~ªº¦Û¤v¡G«¢«¢«¢~§A¦n§r~18·³¬J§Ú~ÁÙ°O±o¤µ¤Ñ¬O¤°»ò¤é¤l¹À~?! (§Ñ°O¤F´N¤£­n·Q°_) ²{¦b¦³¦ñ¤F¨S¦³~?!¬O¤£¬O05¦~4Aªº±i¬Y~!? (¥Õ·ö)XXD"

"Hope your lazy ass got a job by now. If not, kill yourself. Now.



My letter to my future self was alot less.. Errr... Colorful.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Sneak2, You Will Be Missed

I don't know if anyone residing in Saudi Arabia has noticed, but Sneak2 has been banned.
Now how am I gonna get my weekly fix of porn!?
Did I just say that out loud?
Carry on.

Honestly though, don't you just hate those jackasses at ISU?
I know I do.

Now, this post is nothing but a desperate plea; To anyone residing outside of this wretched place.. Hell, to the exraordinarily lovely people who run Sneak2 themselves..
Help us!
We need another genius bypassing-blocks-and-firewalls site!
I beg of you!
Perhaps a Sneak to: Operation Saudi Arabia.
(Notice the to. Trust me, those idiots at ISU will be none the wiser.)

Wouldn't that be marvelous!

Pretty please?

Your most dedicated fan:

Ladies and gentlemen, approximatley 66.09 seconds after I made this post, Sneak2 was brought back to life!
It's a miracle!
Man, I'm powerful! (Or would like to think so.)

Two minutes later it's blocked again.
They like to tease, those ISUers.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Man, Am I Weird.

Tagged by $uper Mo:

List six weird things about yourself.

#1 I consider myself a groupie.

#2 I broke my nose twice, and have no intention of getting plastic surgery to fix it! I love my crooked nose!

#3 I cannot handle physical pain. Seriously. I know you're thinking this contradicts #2, and how did I get through two broken noses?
The answer is I don't know. I don't know how I got through it. I don't even remember that pain, man.
All I know is I physically cannot handle pain.

#4 I inherited a gum problem from my father. I will not delve into gory details, but I have a dead person's gums sewed on top of my (nonexistant) ones.

#5 I come from a family of whiners. We all whine like there's no tomorrow!

#6 We have a cat that does not Meow. I think its vocal chords are missing or something. Poor Figaro.
My parents love the whole 'silent pet' concept, though.

Weird enough?


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Rajaa's On My TV!

Last night there was interview with Rajaa' Al-Sanea on TV. It was the first time I'd ever seen/heard her actually speak out about her book, or anything else.
I love that girl, I honestly do, and I respect her like hell.
But to tell you the truth, I was not impressed.

First off; the reason I hate Arabic television was clearly demonstared on the show she was on last night: The interview was well over an hour (way too long in my book), they asked the same questions approximately 54.7 billion times (and she answered them all that many times as well), and they did not at all justly depict the people who hated her work.
All they did was talk to Lebanese people who love her, and a select few Saudis who love her, too.
And when they did read the Anti-Rajaa emails, they read the most ridiculous, non relevant accusations against her! Not her book, her!
That is not what I want to see!
I want to see her in a heated (yet sophisticated) debate with an accomplished, conservative book critic! I want to see some ass-whoopin'!
I don't want to see her being all cute and giggling at accusations of secularism and non-patriotism!

Another thing that disappointed me was that she wasn't as honest as I imagined she would be.
She was so Saudi-ishly politically correct! Ew!
I'm not saying she should work towards social exile (which looks quite appealing to me right about now..), I'm just saying she's gone all out and written a controversial book, and everything that can be said about her has already been said! Why not go all the way!? To hell with conventionalism! Screw 'em!
She shouldn't have played it safe all that much.

Please allow me to quote some of Rajaa' Al-Sanea's more interesting satements throughout last night's nightmarish excuse of an interview: (My comments are in blue)

"We live in a male dominant society, and we're trying to change that. And this male dominancy is why people are against me."
"..We're trying to change that.."?
Last I heard I still can't drive.
Why isn't she honest enough to say "Things are still pretty bad out there."
Why this desperate need to sugar coat everything!?

When asked which of the characters in her book she relates to most, she replied with a giggle and: "I hate that question!"
My God. How lame is that!
I seriously have nothing more to say.

"The book is pure fiction, from beginning to end. There is, however, a small portion that is based on non-fiction, and that is something I will never reveal."

Then why the hell mention it if you're not gonna tell us what it is!? Lameness on a stick.

"The people of Saudi Arabia do not easily accept what is new and different."
You got that right sister. They also cannot accept honesty.

What a sad excuse of a society I live in.

The very disappointed,

Monday, January 16, 2006

Science Sucks

The scientists of planet earth are not wroking hard enough!
They're not!
Want proof?
Here you go!:

1. They put a man on the moon, but they cannot produce a bra that is not only comfortable, but also does not make one's boobage look retarded.

2. They made it possible for me to pick up the phone, dial a number, and speak to someone residing in Antarctica, but they cannot find a one minute cure for acne. (No, Benzoyl Peroxide doesn't count! It doesn't work like they say it does.)

3. I can have my whole music library in my pocket, but I cannot pop a pill that makes me remember what a Mamnoo' min al sarf is, or when the second world war took place.

4. They can do a face transplant, but they still haven't found a cure for cancer or aids.

5. We have cars, airplanes, and rockets, but we don't have bubble gum that never looses it's flavour.

6. They have made it possible for people to have 60 inch flat screen TVs, surround sound, theatre quality speakers, and yet they connot creat a scratch resistant DVD, or for that matter a DVD player that lasts for over 2 years.

7. We do not have one medication that does not have horrible side effects.

8. They can create a human clone, and yet they haven't succeeded in creating a garment that does not shrink in the wash (or lose it's color), and does not stain.

9. We have diet pills, but there is no sure fire one minute no fuss absolute cure for the flu.

10. We can't make fat-free brownies that are edible.


Friday, January 13, 2006

Sexism and The Kingdom

I find it strange that every successful Saudi woman is hated by the whole of this kingdom.
I'll tell you why. It's because the authorities have brainwashed everyone into thinking women were not meant to have lives, or do anything productive.

Rajaa Al-Sanea. Now I'm sure most of you are thinking; Yeah, we hate her for a reason!
But take everything the media and the people are telling you, and put it aside.
Why do you hate her, again?
The woman wrote a book. A very successful book. She wrote a book called "Riyadh Girls".
People think she exaggerated, generalized.
News flash!!: All writers exagerate and generalize. No one would sell any books if they didn't!
Also, if you think about it, she didn't exaggerate that much.
She took the truth, and wrote it down. I know Saudis are used to sugar coating everything, but this woman had the guts to tell the truth.
She didn't give us her opinion. She just spoke the truth in the form of a story, and yet, people are offended by her book.
And let us not forget; this is the woman that singlehandedly made thousands of people flock to bookstores and actually pick up a book and read.
Admirable, at worst.

Lubna Al-Olayan. A very successful buisiness woman. CEO of Olayan Financing Company. She's making tons o'cash.
But we Saudis have to say something negative. (She is a woman, afterall.)
She got all kinds of crap for appearing unveiled at the Jeddah Economic Forum in 2004. She was wearing a head scarf, damn it!
But to us Saudis, her "behaviour" was shameful.
Isn't she old enough to decide whether or not she wants to cover her face?
Not according to the people (and written media) of Saudi Arabia!
Shame on her. Not covering her face while giving a speech! The nerve!

I'm over this.


Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Man In The Niquab

My cousin and I were standing infront of a stack of CDs in Bahrain's Euphoria, and out of nowhere this woman we have never seen before, walks up to us, points to another woman who's garbed in head-to-toe black, (abaya, Niquab, the whole deal) and says: "See that woman over there? In the Niquab? That there is Michael Jackson!"

So I got to meet Michael Jackson. No shit.

He was really nice. He liked my blue nail polish and he kept saying "God bless you, God bless you!"
He asked us not to tell anyone it was him. Apparently he doesn't want people knowing it's him.
You see, it's completely normal to see a tall woman with pale, pale hands in a Niquab, abaya, and huge sunglasses indoors, at 8 in the evening, walking around with an army of nannies, (yes, we saw two of his kids, minus the bags over their heads. Pretty good-looking kids, actually.) and a gang of personal assistants. Not suspisious looking at all.
I got an autographed CD. Shall post a picture of it when I figure out how. And when I actually take one.

I need to go pack. We're leaving in a few hours.


(For those of you who don't know, a Niquab is a face cover.)

Thursday, January 05, 2006

At A Saudi Wedding

I just got back from a wedding.
In the car my mother said "We'll go in, say hi to the mother of the bride, pretend we're having the time of our lives, and leave. It'll only take an hour, tops."
I inherited my mother's lack of interest in Saudi style weddings. I cannot say it bothers me that I did.
We walked in.
Everyone looks the same. It's not even amusing.
Every one's in pink/orange/blue leopard print. Every one's boobs are hanging out. And everyone is wearing red nail polish. It's trendy now, don'tcha know.
You have to understand the expense that goes into these events. The dresses, the jewelery, the band, the food.. Not to mention what people pay to get their (indentical) hair and make up done! I decided long ago that I would not spend a riyal on hair or makeup. Total waste of money, really. The whole God damned event.
My mother and I had to say hi to a whole bunch of people I don't know and couldn't care less about if you payed me.
They all said the exact same things in their identical outfits and hairstyles; "Remember me!?" To which I'm thinking 'How the fuck do you know my name, you fuck up?' But ofcourse, I contort my face into a polite/confused/trying to remember expression.
"MashaAllah! 3aroosa!" (Translated to 'You look lovely, a bride!')
In Saudi Arabia people say 'you look like a bride!' as a compliment. You see, I know little girls (and women) all over the world are brain washed into wanting to get married, but in Saudi Arabia it is particularly sickening.
When someone says I look like one I think 'No, I certainly do not look like a 3aroosa (bride), and I never, ever will.'
As I sat there watching people's heads bob up up and down while dancing in the aisle to horrible Tagg music; for the first time in my life I was happy that I don't belong. For the first time ever, I liked that I'm different.


(Update: I'm leaving for Bahrain tomorrow. I think I'll be back on Sunday though. I'm not too sure. I just realized this update is virtually useless. Sorry. Carry on with your lives.)

Monday, January 02, 2006

Stop Calling Me!

Okay, why is everyone obsessed with phone calls!? They waste time, money, and fucking brain cells. Scientifically proven!
If you call me, and I don't pick up, it means I don't think your call is important enough for me to take.
It does not mean leave me another five missed calls, and it definitely does not mean try calling my house.
If I say 'Sorry, I misplaced my phone' ,or 'My phone wasn't with me at the time' or anything else, there's a very good chance I'm lying to you.
Why, you want to know? Why don't I just pick up!?
I'll tell you why! Do you know when the last time I had a decent, productive phone conversation was?
That's right. Never. And I very much doubt I ever will.
So, let me give you a crash course in phone call 'etiqquette':
Rule #1 Never, ever call without texting first. Send me a text message with all the wonderful, glorious facts you wish to shove into my brain. If I think whatever it is you want might be of some value to me, I'll call back.
Rule #2 Do not ring once and hang up, expecting me to call you back because you "Don't want to run up your phone bill". That is just rude. If you can't handle the simple task of controlling your phone bill, then you are irresponsible, and you do not deserve to have a cell phone.
Rule #3 When I say I'm busy, I mean I'm fucking busy. I don't care that you just want five seconds of my time. I'm busy.
Rule #4 If you want to talk to me, talk to me in person. What happened to good old fashioned face to face conversations, for God's sake!?

That is all for now.
And no, I will not be calling anyone back.