Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Hate It When...

... I am told to "calm down."
I am calm, damn you.

Yesterday someone asked me to calm down on the messenger.
That was it for me. I have to vent.
And no, I wasn't saying anything mean or even angry-sounding.
She asked (nagged, actually) me where to find something on the internet for a porject she was working on for her drama class, and I referred her to like, the bestest website ever on drama that has, like all the answers to all the questions you could ever have about drama!

Just because I am not cold and passive doesn't mean I have a short fuse.
I am passionate. Not angry.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Media Just HAS To Ruin The Image Of Everything, Doesn't It?

There is this commercial where some girl falls asleep on a white couch and then wakes up worried she... Ahem... Made a mess.
Then she remembers she wearing X brand of feminine towel.

There is another magazine add where a tampon or towel is compared to a baby's diaper.

Who else thinks men came up with these ad campaigns?

Who else thinks they're beastly?

Alright now, show of hands, who here thinks the guys who came up with these add campaigns are somehow related to the cretins who design bras?
(Although, they're not entirely at fault. What simpleton hires a man to design women's underwear? Honestly.)
Anyway, back to toiletries.

What happened to the nicer ads?

Wait a minute, there's no such thing as the nicer ads.

They're all crap.

There's the diaper ones, the "brand X is more absorbant than brand Y... We even poured blue slime over them to prove it!", the "cotton-y feel" bull crap, the one where she's not comfortable bending over in yoga, and-
Who the hell cares.

I'll tell you what these companies should do, and I'm quoting a good friend:
"Absolutely nothing. We know to buy tampons and towels without hearing it on the damn TV. Like with comdoms and tissue-paper."

It's not that I think anyone should be ashamed of their period.
Periods are (hypothetically) beautiful.
I just think the way they're portrayed on TV is disgusting:

Woman: "Go away, perverted co-worker."
Perverted co-worker: "Fuck you, you bitch! What are you, PMSing?"

Someone shoot him.
Comedy my ass.

"نزول الدوره شيء جميل..رائع"

-أبله كوثر


Saturday, October 21, 2006

Somewhere Over The Rainbow


I'm having a wizard of Oz moment. I have been living in these shoes for three days. They're the only (really pretty) ones that my plastered foot fits into.
My very own Ruby Slippers.
I also only walk on yellow... Err... Things.
Honestly, there aren't enough yellow anything raods on this earth.
I demand more yellow brick roads!

My every desire must be met.
Hop to it.

In other news, it is now 6:51 AM and Mona and I still haven't slept.
We're quite proud of ourselves.
At sunrise strange things happen to your brain.


Very strange things.

I don't even remember taking that last one. Let alone remember the excuse.
Mona is fucking delirious.

Runs in the family.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It's Broken


When I was younger I read (I think it was) a Sweetvalley book, and one of the girls had broken her arm and was getting chocolate bars and the remote control and nice-ness in general from everyone.
In reality, when you're 19 and not 8, no one really gives a shit about your broken pinky toe. Let alone share their damn candy.
You get a little "awww! How did it happen?" but once you tell them you were running around the house (literally) at 3 AM like a moron the look of sympathy is replaced with the 'God, I knew you'd hurt yourself being yourself one day.' face.
In other words, laughter.
And mockery in general.

Drama drama drama.

And yet, for some bewildering reason...

I'm still in love with life.

The love-struck,

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Denmark Archives

Oooh the Pope said something mean about Muslims!
Let's all sit around and pout!

For fuck's sake.
Why is it that people only pay attention to what the Pope (or the Dutch) say(s) when it's going to offend us? We couldn't care less what they think otherwise.

Honestly, who cares what anyone thinks of Arabs or Muslims.
I mean, people who think anything at all are automatically racist (or generalizing). Not that we should care, though.

Think about it. No-one started 'randomly' searching white American men at airports after the Oklahoma bombing.
No-one thinks 'opressed' when they see a Japanese woman in her traditional Kimono.

Why is the 9/11 attack any different than Oklahoma? Why is a Kimono any different than a Hijab?

The next time someone asks whether you know any terrorists after you tell them you're Saudi or Muslim or Arabic, don't try to clear anything up or 'salvage' our reputation.
When some cartoonist makes fun of our Prophet, don't pay any attention to it.
We know you love him.... It's probably why you choose to follow his risala.
There is no need to shout your loyalty off roof tops, unless ofcourse, you feel the need to prove something...

Our Prophet (pbuh) has clearly demonstrated that mockery should not be met with outrage. Al-Rasool chose to ignore mockery, didn't he?
Why do some Muslims today continuously give attention (and, consequently, further media coverage and exposure) to it?
Do Muslims today feel that Al-Rasool's method was perhaps... Not good enough for them?
I doubt it.

We love our Prophet, and Islam is definitely not a laughing matter, that's a given. We do not need to further clarify (nor get angry about) anthing.
Terrorists come in all shapes, sizes, colors and nationalities. Hate manifests itself in many things.
We (Arabs, Muslims) do not need to justify ourselves or give excuses.
If you think we're hateful or primitive, we shouldn't care.
If you don't think "we" are anything, if you think humans are idividuals and generalizing and discriminating against people according to race or religion is as logical as discriminating against people who own blue umbrellas and enjoy collecting nail clippings, then your brain is fantastical.

Help me channel our fellow Muslim's fruitless frustration into something more productive, like, getting Somalia out of the little rut it's in. You know, it can't be a lot of fun being the most poverty-stricken country in the world.
I actually believe Somalia needs more attention than Denmark and, yes, even the Pope.

I'm evil, you see.


Thursday, October 12, 2006

"If You Put Things Off 'Till The Last Minute,

They only take a minute to do."

That's good advice.
You're welcome.

God, my friends are amazing.


Monday, October 09, 2006

Animal Crackers In My Soup...

I was sitting with a group of girls who were basically forcing their presence upon me.
It was okay untill they started talking about how much they spend on Chanel in Paris every year.
It became some sort of competition. Who spent the most money and where.

I'm sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Why do they think how much money their daddy makes/inherited is something to show off about? There are about 289738947209837249 people all around the world who can afford a Gucci key chain and a trip to Geneva.
It's not very special, I promise you.

I have a better idea for a competition: Who can burn their money the fastest.
Or who can eat a whole fried pink hippo in under three minutes.

I know what you're saying; 'Ubergirl, we do not mean to question your awesome brain power, but is there such a thing as a pink hippo?'


My point is, saying you bought a Chanel bag is as pointless as pink hippo eating contests (which don't exist, because obviously pink hippos are an endangered species.)

I think I'm allegic to people.


PS. Wish me a happy birthday, everyone!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Saudi Television Is Becoming Controversial. Finally.

Am I the only one who is happy our social problems have been put on "display for the world to see" on Tash-ma-tash? ( a Saudi Ramadhan TV show)

When will we understand that nobody cares about our moronic social problems?
People think they're funny. Franky, if I didn't have to deal with them on a daily basis, I'd think they're fuckin' hillarious!
I'm talking about the Hay'a, the sexism, and the tribal hang-ups.

No, I don't think I'm being un-patriotic by enjoying this "embarrassment." I think everyone else is being un-patriotic by continuing to practice or support the afore mentioned issues. I don't usually know how most people think, but isn't being sexist and thinking you're better than everyone because your great-great-great (x 298) grandfather belonged to some tribe considered the true embarrassment to your country?

And no, I don't think talking about our problems makes them worse. Sure, on Tash, they're mostly making fun, but atleast they're getting people talking! After that one episode we talked about the tribal issues at the dinner table! We all got to express our outrage at what's hapening! It was glorious!
Only when we communicate will we begin to resolve our issues.

This year Tash has exceeded my expectations.
Sure, I didn't expect much in the first place, and they didn't really deliver anything spectacular, but I am grateful to them for bringing up important issues.
I only hope they're not put off by negative feedback.


Sunday, October 01, 2006

Yes, I Still Watch Survivor. Leave Me Alone.

Who watches Survivor Cook Islands?
It's fascinating.
I'm serious.

At first I bought the whole "social experiment" thing. But now I know better.
Firstly, people shouldn't be thought of as Asian, Hispanic, black, or caucasian, let alone be sorted according to race. People are people. Race should never have been an issue, ever.

Secondly, I don't consider myself at all racist. I'm probably the farthest thing from it.
But this is what I caught coming myself saying while watching Survivor:

"I hope the Japanese team wins.

... Asian, sorry."

"How come the black guy's so aggresive?"

"That blonde girl is such an idiot. My God!"

I rest my case.

I'm not saying watching Survivor will make you racist. I'm saying it makes you say things and think things.
Not all Koreans are smart, idealistic, and good looking. (Okay maybe they are.)
Not all men of African decent are aggressive.
And not all blondes are stupid.

Other than that, I'm actually enjoying it.

I hope Yul wins.
I also hope I'm not the only one who wants him and the other Korean chick (Rebecca?) to hook up. They'd be the cutest couple in the world.

Go Yul!

Okay. Gushing over.

Actually, post over.