Saturday, February 18, 2006

An Open Letter To Groups Of People Who Annoy Me

Yeah. I'm doing this again. You know you want me to! *wink*

Dear pseudo lesbians at KSU:
Stop it. You're not fooling anyone with your imaginary penis. Wallah.
Please stop trying to "turn" everyone "gay". Honestly, it's getting old.
We all know you're only doing this because you're sexually frustrated. We all are. But there is a magical cure for this. It is called 'masturbation'.
We all know that had there been guys at school, you'd be all over them.
So stop flirting with me and start dressing like a female, for fuck's sake.


Dear idiots who always appear next to my car when there is a red light and cannot stop picking your noses:
Do you intentionally stop next to me just to piss me off? Or are there really that many of you?
Are you some 'Save the trees!' enthusiast? Is that why you don't use tissues?

I'm assuming you're related to the guy that always spits in the street. Will you ask him something for me?
Why does he always open the door to spit out? Why not just spit out the window?


I'm pretty sure I'll come up with more later.
Watch this space.

ubergirl

29 comments:

Rimyoleta said...

Oh God Uber..I like this one..hehe

Horny Old Guy said...

"A magical cure called "masturbation"...I like that!!!

Anonymous said...

A genius post, I just love this!!! This ubergirl87 should, God willing, one day become the first female president of the Republic of Saudi Arabia :-). I guess we need bloggers like her to change the world!!!

taqo said...

lmao. Your friggin' hilarious. I luv this blog ;p

Mochness said...

You've seen nose-pickers on the streets while I've been "lucky" enough to have one in class today. I don't even wanna talk about it but I do wish that I could mentally block that memory from my head, and I'm trying my best :S

Life For Rent said...

I totally agree with ya Mr anonymous.

Life For Rent said...

by the way , I didn't know that such things do exist at KSU untill Raja Al9ane3 blow the cover.
have you ever been flirtted by that girl named Arwa ??
or she had graduated.
anyways , there is a famous one named .... Alsdderi . loool.
regarding picking noses , why r u wondering ? those are your fellows saudi guys.

Sean from DocintheBox said...

Look at the bright side, at least they're not flicking them at you:-D

Shy said...

Ubergirl doesnt it freak u out when someone from the same sex comes onto u? When I was in Jordan a gay taxi driver came onto me, he was a big creepy guy too! Took my cell phone off me when I turned him down!

ubergirl87 said...

Anonymous and Life For Rent ROCK! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Taq: Thank you, my lovely!

Mocha: Lol And we all know how fond you are of germs :-)

Sean: No they're not, but hen they do it I cannot for the life of me tear my eyes away from them!

Shy: It does. Your experience is horrific though, lol.

Thanks for all your comments, peeps.

ubergirl87 said...

hen=when*

Freak Of Nature said...

Mocha is right,you are lucky,in my class everyone picks their noses!!

GREAT post ;)

Fedo said...

"But there is a magical cure for this. It is called 'masturbation'."

Can I get an "Amen???"
LOL!

BaSSeM said...

do what i do..
at traffic lights i close my eyes so i don't have to witness such behaviour and only open them when the xar behind honk to me to tell me that it's green now and i can go ;)

Lynnette in Minnesota said...

"Why not just spit out the window?"

What?! And risk getting something on the paint job?

Confessions of a Malamute said...

Just found your blog and love it. I like how you write.

Added to the list of pseudo lesbians and nose pickers are those who leave their cell phones on in theaters - just in case god calls them for advice cos theyre sooooo important you know. Also add to the list real lesbians who hate men... someone should tell them that without men their dyke asses wouldnt be here in the first place. Human hypocrisy annoys me to no end. Ah well, if it wasnt for humans us dogs wouldnt have anyone to bite (just be up to date on your shots I dont wanna get rabies from you).

Madhatter said...

Jus a little off the topic:

Y do ppl especially westerners find Arabia so interesting with regards to whats happening in the country, by interesting i mean finding faults and making it seem like they so backward and bla bla bla.Then automatically Islam is like this and that and the ppl are like this.To be honest its quite irritating, no country in the world is perfect, we all have our problems. But hopefully with time it will become better. I love Arabia because its the birthplace of Islam and the best of mankind was born there. The country is rich with history, and wen i was in the country the ARAB ppl were just marvelous to me. Even in SA ppl will say the arabs are like this and that but hey to me they my muslim brothers and sisters and i dont take kindly to ppl talkin nonsense abt them nevamind if they like this or that. The arab people are so hospitable, for eg wen i was in medina with my two aunts a arab family invited them for dinner. Look at the good in people and not bad, doesnt meant the leaders of a country does sumtin silly all the ppl are. I love u my muslim brethren

Cypren said...

madhatter: I think that's just the general human tendency to put everyone into groups of "us" and "them" -- even when we know nothing about "them". Just as many in the West have crazy/mistaken ideas about what life is like in the Islamic world, so do many Muslims have crazy/mistaken ideas about what life is like in the Western world.

Open-minded people are rare, no matter where you are.

Daniel said...

This is one of the hottest blogs ever. I love it. Girl, you can write.

ubergirl87 said...

Thanks everyone!

Anonymous said...

It surprises me not one bit that there's homosexuality in a single-sex school environment. Boys and girls your age are swarming with hormones, and keeping them apart is the very height of stupidity. When you marry, you're not only strangers, you might as well be from different planets!

Just ask anyone who attended a British "public" school whether segregating the sexes leads to healthy development. There's a reason why the Irish always referred to homosexuality as "the English Disease".

Anonymous said...

homophobia from someone in college? grow up. you aren't twelve anymore.

Jim said...

If you were caught in San Francisco traffic they just might get flicked at you! And I love your blog ubergirl keep up the great work.

ubergirl87 said...

Anon #1: Apparantly, you know nothing about marriage in Saudi Arabia. Although sexes are segragated, stragers don't get married to eachother.

Anon #2: I am not a homophobic. I have quite a few gay friends from high school who are like sisters to me. It's not that I don't like gay people, I am just opposed to BEING SEXUALLY HARRASSED. Whether that be by males or females.

And thanks jim :)

Foofie said...

hey,
even though i'm not a saudi, i've been living here all my life, and i can SO relate to ur blog!
u go girl!

Shy said...

I think when sexes are segregated like that people are seeking affection and they look for it from people from the same sex for it. Its common in countries where its segregated to find guys walking down the street holding hands. In the west people thinks thats cos they're gay but its not there cos they're just looking for affection, hence the creation of "pseudo lesbians" as ubergirl puts it

Abu Sinan said...

You are too funny! Man, why havent I visited this site in a while? See what I have missed?

Anonymous said...

Still watching that space.



My head is starting to spin.



I'll be alright though.



Just got to keep watching that space...

Anonymous said...

i'm late for this but anyway... super writing, but you're forgetting one of the real big nuisances: teenage girls! damn, they're not happy till they find something to complain about. teenage girls should be locked up in swiss boarding schools till they grow out of teenagehood at age 25.