I Thought Muttawas* Didn't Even *Like* Camera Phones..

Today I scarred myself emotionally. I will forever suffer the psychological consequences.
Or atleast for the next couple of days I will.
Whatever.

It all started when my idiot little mind made my idiot little mouth ask a friend to show me the video of the Muttawa* (member of the religious police) raping a girl.
I hate when I get all "I-won't-believe-it-till-I-see-it" on people.
Ya3ny she told you it exsisted, ubergirl... Why, why must you doubt!?
Because I'm "curious". That's why.
"Curious" my ass. Malgoofa is more like it.

It was horrible.
Horibble.
He had a beard and everything.
He was scolding her while doing it.
Who know they* were kinky, eh? Shut up! You were thinking it too!

It wasn't exactly rape, though.
Apparently they* had "caught" her doing something, and she was trading sex for freedom.
She was obviously okay with the whole.. Err.. Thing.

Not only was the tape horrible enough on it's own, it made me ask myself: "You mean they're*
not really "religious"? "
Whoa.

ubergirl

*I have recently learned that some men pose as religious police to do things like this.
I now firmly believe the man in the video I saw is not a real Muttawa.

Oh, one more thing. This is my blog. And I get to say whatever the hell I want. I can blame people, I can point fingers, I can say I hate the Hay2a. If you don't like it, then you better find yourself something else to read.
(Please note that I can blame and point fingers, but I haven't in this post. I just want to state that I can if I want to.)

Let's Just Randomly Stroke Eachother While We Pose For Pictures, Girls!

I hate how female celebrities try to be all provocative and sexy.
It's disgusting.
I don't appreciate being forced into thinking of the Olsen Twins as lovers.
And yes, I think this picture is suggestive.
Believe me, no sisters would ever hug like that in real life.

I know they're told to do these things to appeal to.. people. I'm not calling anyone a pervert (even though I think people who fantasize about twins are perverted. Seriously. Think about it.)

I understand that's what they need to do to get publicity, but some people, like the Olsen twins in this particular picture, just try too hard.
Angelina Jolie can pull off sexy.
Halle Berry can pull of sexy.
Lindsey Lohan cannot.

These girls need to understand that you just can't force sex appeal!

Another quick way to get famous is to casually and "innocently" use female genetalia in the name of your "band"/dancing troupe, a`la Pussy Cat Dolls.

Oh, I'm sorry.. They mean kitties?
Silly me!

ubergirl

My Thoughts On Denmark, And Darfur.

I am sick of people whining about Denmark.
We get it, you're offended. We all are.
And guess what?
Nobody cares. So get over it.

In the space of one month, I have only heard one person (briefly) talk about what's going on in Darfur.
In the space of two days you hear about those God damned cartoons five hundred times.
Not to mention the bumper stickers.
300,000 People have died in Darfur since 2003. Most of them starved to death.
One man in Afghanistan died while taking part in a protest demanding the government of Denmark publicly apologize for the cartoons.
Do they think the world needs more death?
How these people sleep at night is beyond me.

Let's all boycott Denmark because one man's doodle made us mad. YEAH!
GO KSA!!

Oh, and by the way, no one wants to boycott America for what's still happening in Abu Ghraib. There are tapes of people literally banging their heads on the wall, but we gotta handle them Denmarikians first, eh?

Also, I have noticed that we Saudis donate a lot of money to organizations that build Masjids in African countries.
I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I would much rather build a factory or a farm or whatever in Africa.
You don't need to build a Masjid! People can pray anywhere! Africans are starving to death. A Masjid is not going to feed them!

ubergirl

Ilgird Fe 3ain Ommo 3'azal!

I hate proud mothers.
I honestly do.
They think you're after their son(s).
And you're kinda not.
And they let the whole fucking world know when you've spoken a single word to their son that lives in fucking Outer Mongolia. And they make it sound like you want to hook up.
And then your mother hears of this.
And she gets worried you'll get pregnant (or whatever mothers worry about.)
And all you said was "Hello."
Not "Hello!"
"Hello."

Why doesn't anyone tell these mothers that their kids are ugly losers?
Is it going to disturb the chain of being?
I'm gonna find out.

ubergirl

Random Questions.

You know what's fun?
Asking random questions.

How many times a week do you shower?
How do you feel about carrots?
If you had to pick one color to wear for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Who are you shaping yourself after?
Aren't cows charming?

Ask a stranger a completely random question.
Randomness rocks my socks.

ubergirl

Thank you Nour..

... For lending me Brokeback Mountain.
I loved it. Loved.
Aside from the fact that it's two semi-cute guys making out for two hours straight, it's a real love story, man.
I'm trying not to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet; but boy, are you in for a treat!

ubergirl

Shari3 5amsa And Star Academy

Okay, I officially hate the Shari3 5amsa crowd.
They're such airheads! It's not funny anymore!
I refuse to sit with them. I refuse to go to that wretched place. All anyone does there anyway is talk about other people. All. The. Fucking. Time.

I don't know about them, but I have a life. And I'd much rather be living it than talking about how other people live theirs.
It is sick how people enjoy talking about others behind their back.
I wish I could say no one cares about anyone else's life, but I can't. Because they do care. A great deal. And it's disturbing.
It's kind of why Star Academy is popular here, especially with girls.
When you're addicted to gossip, and when you live in a society such as ours that values it, Star Academy being a huge hit is not a surprise to me.
Plus if you can't live your life as freely as you want you might as well watch other people do it. I guess that idiotic show is the most convenient way to do that; you just turn on the TV from the comfort of your home, and voila! Instant gossip. And the "hot" guys who dance like strippers can't hurt.

ubergirl

Bla.

Lately my diet has consisted of nothing but Cocoa Puffs.
Nothing but Cocoa Puffs.
Is that really as bad as my mother thinks it is?
There should definitely be more meals that come out of a cardboard box and only need the addition of milk.

Also, I noticed that there are billboards all over the city with (half) of David Beckham's face on them.
Last month there was a guy playing air guitar on one of those big screens they put at traffic lights. (Illi gidam 9a7ara.)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but ten years ago this stuff wouldn't have been allowed on the billboards, 9a7?

ubergirl

Ubergirl Sheds Some Light On Demonic Possession.

I was just listening to my little cousin tell a story about a woman who kept shouting "Damn you demons! Quit possessing me!"

Here in Saudi Arabia people still believe that when someone goes crazy, they are most likely possessed.
I am even sure most of the Saudis reading this are thinking I'm crazy for not believing.
To answer the question I know you're asking yourself; I believe in Black Magic, but I do not believe in possession.

Let's ponder this for a moment.
The Arabic word for crazy is Majnoon. The closest I can get to the word demon in Arabic is Jinni.
Clearly one is derived from the other.
What I'm trying to say, is that for a very long time, possession and the loss of one's mind have been undoubtedly linked.

As recently as 50 years ago, people did not understand the concept of craziness. They immediately went to their Sheikh so that he could read Quraan and cure their possesed relative.
I'm not saying the Quraan isn't theraputic or that it would be useless in curing anything.
I'm just saying that 50 years ago, people did not know what mental illness was, so it is understandable that they believed in possesion. There was no other possible explanation back then.

But now there is.
Personality disorders are commonly mistaken for demonic possession:

Paranoid Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent.”

Schizotypal Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior.”

Dependent Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation.” (Most people here mistake DPD for the nanny putting a curse on a child so that he likes her more than his parents, or whatever.)

And ofcourse, there is MPD. (Multiple Personality Disorder.)
You can imagine what people think of that. (Que flashbacks from The Exorcism Of Emily Rose.)

Please think about it before you blow up on me.
Thanks.

ubergirl

Let's Just Change The Name To Sexist Arabia.

I remember back in highschool we were in Biology class, and a girl asked who's "fault" it was when a woman gives birth to a girl.
I turned to her and said "Honey, you might have been a "fault", but I am definitely not."

A few years before that I was at a dinner party and one woman was pregnant. Another woman asked whether it was a boy or a girl, and the mother-to-be said it was a girl.
The woman started consoling her. "Don't worry!", she said, "You'll get a boy next time!"

These people infuriate me! And there are millions of them! Millions!

So what do we do? I am tired of arguing.

ubergirl

I Do This When I Have Nothing To Write About.

Noor tagged me a while back.
Here it goes:

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Complete and utter freedom.

What is your greatest fear? Regret. I am always afraid that I will one day regret a choice I've made.

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Omar Ibnu Abdulaziz. I identify with the way he thought.

Which living person do you most admire? Probably Lubna Al-Olayan.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I make too much out of first impressions.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? I cannot handle rude people. Especially strangers. I don't care that they had a bad day. It does not justify their being rude.

What is your greatest extravagance? I spend a lot of my money on shoes. A lot of my money.

On what occasion do you lie? I acutually very rarely lie. I'm not good at it.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? Nothing. I'm happy with the way I look.

Which living person do you most despise? Paris Hilton and co.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? There's not a particular phrase, but I do use a certain tone excessively.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing. I like my imperfections. Honestly.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Graduating high school. I had serious doubts at one point.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? I'd come back as an African medicine-woman or something.

Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorite writers. Only favorite books.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Batman. I grew up reading comic books, and I've always loved him the most because he's real. He doesn't have super powers or anything.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Losing a loved one. And watching people mourn over her/him. I hope I never have to experience it again.

Where would you like to live? London, New York, or Tokyo.

What is your most marked characteristic? I don't know.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Confidence.

What is your greatest regret? Not visiting my grandpa that one time. Long story.

What OR Who is the greatest love of your life? Chocolate.

How would you like to die? I actually would not like to die.

I hereby tag whoever's up for it.

ubergirl

Thursday Night At The ShuShu Residence

Today I met the dean.
I hate her.
And it's not a natural "I hate authority figures" hate.
It's her I hate.
The person.

I'm at a point where I wish I could just fast forward through the boring bits of my day. Like three-hour lectures where the professor cannot. Stop. Grinning.
It's disturbing.
I can't handle it anymore.

Or the ones that assign 348957348957 books for you to read in the space of two weeks. Those ones are my favorite!

Enough about school.

Last Thursday I felt like shit, so naturally I went over to a girlfriend's house. ShuShu.
This girl is so much fun, it should be illegal.

Their neighbors have like a million kids.
You know those families where the kids were all born nine months apart?
That kind of family.
Their children are so out of control. It is past alarming. It is hillarious.
Their idea of fun is racing out into the street watching passing cars swerve and almost go through a wall trying to avoid hitting them.
They also enjoy stealing their father's car keys and driving around the block.
The eldest is 12.
What really gets me, though, is their now famous human wall.
They stand outside their house and hold hands, forming a wall.
They demand that the driver of a car that want to pass hand over the keys to his car so they can take it for a spin.
Yes.

Don't you just love these people!?

ubergirl

Oh, and I highly recommend Hotel Rwanda.

James Frey Is A Rockstar.

A Million Little Pieces is a great book.
That's what matters.
I don't care that Her Royal Suckiness Oprah doesn't approve.
Someone seriously needs to knock her right off her high horse, anyway.

The man wrote a very good book.
Who cares that he lied a little bit!?
The only difference between James Frey and Dave Pelzer is that unfortunately for James, everything he mentions in his book is on record somewhere else. That's why he got found out.
And I would much rather read (entertaining) "lies" about jumping off third floor balconies than a boy who's mother makes him eat his own vomit. I mean, wouldn't that have killed him?
Look at any "memoir". I dare you to find a 100% accurate account of someone's life on paper.

Bottom line is, books are a source of entertainment. As long as they're doing their job and keeping the reader happy, it doesn't matter whether it involves lies or exaggerations.
I don't see what all the fuss is about!

ubergirl

Apparently I'm A Spoilt Princess Who Thinks She's Queen Of The World.

Today a total stranger hurt my feelings.
I don't know how it happened.
I mean, normally people I know can't hurt my feelings, let alone idiots who don't even know my name.
She was so mean.

I'll show her who I "think I am". Nobody messes with me.
Man, I don't know why I care so much about her opinion of me. I don't normally care about anything. Especially not what people think of me!

Am I being overly sensitive lately, or could it have been what she said that triggered this new emotional side of me?

ubergirl

Boys, Boys, Boys!

Please, gentlemen, when you want to flirt would you mind looking a little more.. Err.. Put together? (Shaving before hand would be nice.)
And lets keep the car chases between noon and 8 PM, please.

Also, one thing I and every female in existence wants to know is; Why do Arab men promise you the world when all they want is a little fun?
Why declare their ever-lasting love when they've only known you for .392 seconds?
Why the marriage proposals when all they want is to mess around?
After all, it is pathetic.

All you guys out there; did it ever occur to you that maybe we want some fun too?

Think about it.

Now stop lying, for fuck's sake.


Oh, and if I don't take your number the first time, it's unlikely I'll take it the 4875356th time around.


ubergirl

If You Don't Like My Blog Don't Read It. Have A Nice Day.

I am sick and tired of the comments I get.
I feel like I'm constantly having to defend myself and everything I say.
This blog is not fun anymore.
I'm sick of the Emails I'm getting from people who have never been here and are not even Arabic telling me how much Saudi Arabia and it's people suck.
I'm sick of arguing to no avail.
So please, if you don't have anything productive to say, if you have no clue about Saudi Arabia keep your nasty comments to yourself.
Being mean is no art. Anyone can say nasty things about anything, so don't think you're some super hero for calling people names.

And honestly, don't you people have better things to do than read (and comment on) blogs you hate?
Quit wasting my (and your) time.

ubergirl

Quit Trying To "Save" Me.

I hate it when random people come up to me and ask me to cover my face.
It doesn't matter whether or not they were 'polite'.
It offends me.
I might be someone who believes that covering one's face is a Bid3a. They should all consider that before asking anyone to potentially do something they don't believe in.
How would all those people feel if I went around asking them/their wives to take their veils off because I personally think it's haram? (I'm not saying I do.)
However, I have noticed that veiled women commit Bid3as as a result of wearing a veil. They pray with it on, for example.

And more importantly; It's no one's business but mine what I dress like. I will not take these people's advice, nor will I ever appreciate it.

ubergirl

Rock Fest.

Thrusday I saw Reel Big Fish and 3 Doors Down live.
3 Fucking Doors Down!
I went to the Dubai Desert Rock Festival with LuLu (who actually wanted to wear pink! Ha!).
It was a blast.
My ears are still ringing and my voice still hasn't gone back to normal but it was worth it!
And it was one hell of a workout.
(Plus I got to top off my tan.)

I'm trying to post a picture of the stage but Blogger isn't cooperating.
I'll do it later.

ubergirl

P.S. Both bands ROCK live!

Update: Picture's up!

The "Prank"

Tuseday.
I was so exited when we parked next to the school.
I ran out of the car and right into the building.
I wasn't excited about the prank as much as I was happy to be back home!

My friends and I went into the building.
We walked into a class.
My old math teacher was giving a lesson to some bored looking girls.
"Hi! Guess what? WE'RE BACK!"
She smiled and said: "Oh, we've missed you girls! You really were a fun bunch, weren't you? Come right in! Take a seat, I'd love it if you joined us!"
What?
She's not annoyed.
We didn't ofcourse take that math class. (We don't miss high school that much, people.)

So we decided to cause some mayhem in the hallways. (Always fun!)
We were then joined by some juniors and freshmen who missed having 'the cool older seniors around!' (Don't you just love kiddies who look up to you!?)

We did make some noise and as I watched the vice principal walking briskly down the hallway to see what was going on, I felt a familiar rush.
My. God.
I cannot believe that woman still scares me.
"What on earth- Well well! If it isn't the class of 2005! How are you girls doing! We sure have missed you!"
She likes us now?
"And what are you girls doing out here? Shouldn't you be in class?" She asked the younger girls.
"Oh, come on! It isn't everyday we get a visit from the class of '05! Please let us stay here and hang out with them!"
"Oh.. Alright." She said with a smile.
"Just don't get yourselves into any trouble."
And she walked off.
And we hung out at school.
And no one made us leave.
And they were all 'so happy to see us!'
They miss the noise.
They miss the trouble. (We were kind of.. Umm.. Naughty, is how I'll put it.)
I got a pleasant little highschool experience.

I hate highschool.

ubergirl

More Things That Get My Blood Boiling.

I am pissed. Again.

First of all:
Those bimbos in head to toe green annoy me. They not only insist on wearing mathching 'patriotic' outfits all the fucking time, no. They want me to join them!
That is so gonna happen!

Patriotism is not in wearing a fucking wristband that says "Saudi Arabia is cool!".
Patriotism is working hard to make your country a better place.
Not by abusing janitors and littering and violence and chaos, girls! (And guys.)

This is something I truly despise.
I love God, and I love his Prophet (pbuh), but I don't think putting them on a goddamn bumper sticker proves anything. Especially not my loyalty.
And that also rings true for this 'patriotism' fad.

No, I will not wear a portrait of the king on a t-shirt.
And no, I will not sing the national anthem in the hallways and disrupt lectures.
Honestly, people!
GROW UP!

Secondly:
I am sick and tired of elitist foreigners making fun of Saudi Arabia.
No, women can't drive.
Yes, we have religious police who boss everyone around.
Yes, the sexes are segregated.
Yes, sexism is normal here.
No, women are not locked in tents untill they're "married off."
No, it does NOT "totally suck!" over here!
And NO, you/your country are/is NOT BETTER THAT ME/MY COUNTRY.
We all know everywhere on earth has it's problems, an I can guarantee you; I think all your problems are much worse than mine, so get over yourselves.

ubergirl

Teen Pregnancy, And "We Don't Wanna Grow Up!"

So today I was sitting in class waiting for a lecture to start, when some chick walks up to my friend (who was sitting next to me).
They apparently know eachother from somewhere.
My friend asked why she hasn't been coming to school lately.
"I just found out I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to not come to school at all for the next two weeks, but screw it. I'm not wasting anymore years, I want an education."

Ahem.

Why do people let things like this happen to them?!
Why is this girl even married!? She doesn't look old enough to be!
And why the fuck didn't she use protection!?


On a lighter note, my highschool friends and I have decided to pull a little prank.
On Tuesday, we're all going back to highschool garbed in our old uniforms, hauling book bags. We're gonna sit in what used to be our usual desks, and we shall flatly refuse to move.
We'll say "We don't like college and we're movin' back in. YEAH!"
Rock on!

What are they gonna do? Fail us in something? Call our parents!? Ha!
It's fool proof!
I shall let you know how it goes.

ubergirl

Randomness

I'm sitting at my computer.
Mocha is making me write this post.
I have nothing to say.
If you don't like it then send your hate mail to her.
I'm listening to my little brother tell my parents about a big fight some high schoolers had at his school.
It all sounds very dramatic and bloody.
My parents are concerned. I can feel it. It's hillarious.

My head is torturing me.
You're a spoilt brat.
You don't deserve half the things you have!
You don't deserve your friends.

I am a spoilt brat.
Get over it, head.

I feel better now.

I haven't cleaned my room in over sixty-five years. (Not really.)
I don't intend to.
And no, Mocha, You're not allowed to come over and do it for me. Go be freakishly organized at someone else's house.

ubergirl

I'm Not Apologizing. I'm Clearing Things Up.

All of what follows is directed at various people I love. The people who are in my life, the ones who, no matter what they do, will always be a part of me (unfortunately for them):

I know you don't like either one of my green dresses. Guess what?
I'm not giving them up.

I know you don't like it when my hair's 'in my face'.
I do. And I'm keeping it.

I know you wish I studied more. You wish I were more 'academic'. I'm not. I don't think it's safe to say I'll ever be 'academic'.

I know you wish I'd lose a few pounds.
Well, I'm not giving up chocolate. Nor ice cream.
And NO, I'm not switching to diet coke.

I know I can be a smart-ass. I guess you'll have to deal with it.

I know I sound arrogant sometimes. I honestly don't mean to be.

I do have a temper problem, maybe.
Let me just say; it's not my fault. I inherited it. Honest!
And I think it's fair to say it's under control now.
I think.

I might maybe be a bit moody sometimes, but I think I'm the easiest person you'll ever have to deal with.
What you see is what you get. You don't have to 'dig deep' or over analyze anything to know who I am and what I'm about.

I know it seems to you that I think everything's lame or cheesy or corny.
Oh, don't fucking kid yourself!
It is!

I might maybe offend a lot of (overly conservative, stick-up-their-ass) people, but come on! Overly conservative people were meant to be offended.

I am not the nicest person you will ever meet, but I'm probably the most honest.

I don't like it when people patronize me. It makes me be mean to them. When I say mean, I mean mean. (That sounded weird)

I don't like annoying sales people who think I'm blind and therefore are trying to sell me shit. I might be mean to them too.
Don't ever try to stop me being mean.

Thank you.
ubergirl

Ten Things I Like About Riyadh

Here it is.

I never thought I'd see the day.


1.Saks Fifth Avenue.
2.The public bathrooms are usually clean.
3.My house.
4.My family and friends.
5.People give you money every Eid. Both times.
6.You can get a tan in December.
7.I get payed to go to school.
8.The weather's dry so it doesn't make your hair go all frizzy.
9.There's not a lot of tall people.
10.Uuumm.... Kabsa?

ubergirl

Senior Citizens

Today I went to get an ID card.
I was not prepared for what I experienced.

I thought that by going at 7:30 in the morning I'd avoid the crowds and the long lines.
I hate it when I act all smart.

So I'm standing in line for 15 minutes, and then the largest old lady you can imagine comes up and tries to push me out of line!

I am being 100% serious.

"Excuse me, Ma'am! You need to stand at the end of the line! Ma'am! Please stop pushing me!"
"Oh, but I am an elderly lady," lady, indeed!
"and I have been here for a long time, just get out of my way!"

Please note that she and I were basically wrestling all through our pleasant little conversation.

"I said NO. I have to get to class after this! I will NOT be late because of you! Please, go away!"
Ahem.
Yeah. I said that to an old lady (while trying to pin her down. She is one strong mama.)
Don't give me that look! She was fucking asking for it.
And it worked, she went away.

Only to be followed by another (less violent) old lady.

What is it with the elderly and lines!? Why don't they just respect and follow rules!?

Here is a message to all old people:
No. I will not pity you.
Just because you're older, it does not mean you are all of a sudden above the rules that we common mortals must live by.

And no. I don't enjoy being mean to old people.
It was just this one time, I swear!


ubergirl

P.S: I know I promised you a "What I like about Saudi Arabia! Yaay!" rainbows and butterlies post, so sorry if anyone's disappointed. I'll do it next post! (Or... I'll try real hard to!)

Riyadh Fashion

Have I ever mentioned how I mentally give makeovers to everyone?
Yeah, I kinda do that.
So I was staring at all these clowns in tons of makeup, and then I got to thinking.
Why does everyone look the same?
It's depressing.
Bimbos with blush on their forheads in patriotic Abayas.
And don't get me started on the guys.
They think it's hot to give threatening looks to girls.
Yeah. Don't ask.
And why is there always one trend that everyone adheres to!?
Right now it's pale faces, mettalic bags, and stripper stilletos for the girls, while the guys are being nuisances in disgusting long hair and "ghetto fab" get-ups.
Idiots.
Saudi Arabia is seriously lacking in originality.


ubergirl

The 3ar6'a

The Saudi Arabian 'Ardha is a dance (I guess).
It's basically a bunch of men jumping up and down holding swords.
Last night I was at a party and they had traditional dancers who did a 'Ardha.
I think the 'Ardha is barbaric. Absolutley barbaric.
And it's horribly disturbing! (Not to mention dangerous)
Especially the part where there's some poor guy in the middle jerking around like he's possessed.
It's also quite awkward, in my opinoin. And it looks like a satanic rain dance of some sort.
But what I find truly appaling, is that it is a turn-on for most girls, and guys are impressed by it, for some reason.
But then again, we Arabs have always been violent, ay Westerners?
(I was being sarcastic with that last question.)


ubergirl

An Open Letter To Groups Of People Who Annoy Me

Yeah. I'm doing this again. You know you want me to! *wink*

Dear pseudo lesbians at KSU:
Stop it. You're not fooling anyone with your imaginary penis. Wallah.
Please stop trying to "turn" everyone "gay". Honestly, it's getting old.
We all know you're only doing this because you're sexually frustrated. We all are. But there is a magical cure for this. It is called 'masturbation'.
We all know that had there been guys at school, you'd be all over them.
So stop flirting with me and start dressing like a female, for fuck's sake.


Dear idiots who always appear next to my car when there is a red light and cannot stop picking your noses:
Do you intentionally stop next to me just to piss me off? Or are there really that many of you?
Are you some 'Save the trees!' enthusiast? Is that why you don't use tissues?

I'm assuming you're related to the guy that always spits in the street. Will you ask him something for me?
Why does he always open the door to spit out? Why not just spit out the window?


I'm pretty sure I'll come up with more later.
Watch this space.

ubergirl

Lock Me Up And Throw Away The Key!

Do you know that there is a special prison just for Royal Felons!?
I'm not even kidding.
Please allow me to quote the lovely creature who informed me of this "prison":
"I would fucking pay to be locked up there."

Enough said.
Now I understand those rumors about the prince who murdered the AlQuadi kid playing video games on the morning of his supposed execution.
They sound awfully thruth-like right about now.

This is making me sick!
When will there be justice in our beloved Kingdom!? I'm guessing in 847365029473626647 years.

ubergirl

Not Your Average Vday post. I'm Not Into That Crap.

Today I went to school to get some stuff done before the semester officially starts.
I kind of have a knack for meeting quite.. Strange people.
So I start talking to this girl, and she goes on about how she needs to do some Valetines day shopping..
Wait, here? In Riyadh!?
"Ah! Who's the lucky guy!?"
She looks at me all shy, and says: "My cousin! People don't approve of us seeing each other since he is my cousin and a year younger than I.. But one can't help what's in one's heart!
And the best thing about our relationship is that our parents are okay with it.. He even comes with us on vacations! It's great!"

And no, they're not ma56oobeen (engaged). I asked.

Hold on, did I miss something?
Was there some announcement that overly liberal parents were allowed to exist in this shit-hole?

I know it may seem strange to some people that cousins are dating.. But you have to understand that someone out right declaring their love for their Valentine is completely unheard of here!
She shared all that with a complete stranger!
I honestly cannot get over this...
We're Saudi, for God's sake!
Falling in love is 3aib!*

ubergirl

*I was being sarcastic. Get off my case.

Till Marriage Do Us Part

I sat down next to S5 and said "So are you gonna tell us or what!?"
She giggled.
And then she said it:
"I'm engaged! I'm getting married!!"
She had the biggest grin on her face and she was glowing.
"No you're not!" I laughed.
"Uhh.. Yeah.. I am."
LuLu and I looked at each other. I swear it was like the world stood still for a minute.
"Wow! Who's the poor guy? When's the big day?"
We bombarded her with questions and talked about everything from the dress to lingerie.

The initial shock has worn off, but.. Wow. I mean, this girl is like a sister to me.
Wow.
Is everything gonna change?
I'm so happy for her, and I love her like her hell, and I'm so excited and nervous and I don't want anything to change!
She said it wouldn't..
It won't change, right?

Right?

ubergirl

To My LuLu-Belle

LuLu I missed you!
And I'm sorry for being a bitch!

ubergirl

My Perfect Luvaaa

I got tagged; you know that “describe your perfect lover” tag?

Well, he has to be in a band.

Yeah, that’s about it.

Physically, he has to resemble any one of these guys:














If any one out there looks like/is one of the guys pictured above, drop me a line.

ubergirl

And thanks to Mocha for helping me out!

Home Again

I'm back, and I'm livid at the people of Saudi Arabia.

First off, (in general) we are lacking in originality! All the guys walk in gangs of identical hair (they're wearing it long now, God have mercy on our souls), and the girls are all in the same Abaya.
My God, get creative, people! What the hell is wrong with you!?
And I wish if they all insisted on dressing alike that they'd atleast don decent outfits! But noooo we Saudis have to look like complete idiots no matter what the cost!

Secondly, Dubai is turning into the second Beirut, God help me.
If you happen to have had dinner at the Marina recently you'd know what I'm talking about.
It's full to the brim with idiotic Saudis staring at each other.
That's it.
Just sitting and staring.
Oh, and they gossip.
They love their gossip!

Idiots!!
I am so over the youth of this Kingdom! Their brains contain nothing but useless information about that God damned Star Academy!

Everyone's so shallow and unengaging! (Yeah, I made that word up.)

If any young Saudiette/Saudi happen to come across this blog, here's a letter I wrote just for you!:

Dear Saudi girl:
Please stop being an airhead. Please consider watching a movie that does not star Orlando Bloom for once.
Please stop talking about people who don't wear a Abaya in Dubai. It's a free country. One is allowed to not wear a Abaya. Wallah.
You know what, just get a life and stop talking about other peoples'.

Dear Saudi boy:
Please start shaving as soon as you hit puberty. I beg of you. A fuzzy face and semi mustache does not flatter anyone, I promise.
Please don't wear beige and/or brown. Wallah you look like snot when you do.
Please don't wear the same color shoes as your shirt. It does not (contrary to popular belief) make you look stylish. Just stupid. And (again) idiotic.


ubergirl

Oh, and to all you Saudi guys, one more thing; in your dreams, you little (insert bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps).

Secularism And A Fatwa

Has anyone noticed that everyone's accused of being a 'secularist' nowadays?
I swear, first it was my dad, now it's my aunt. My aunt, for God's sake.
Saudis honestly need to get lives and stop handing out accusations to random people.
Not everyone believes in walking around in black stockings and gloves in the middle of August, or growing a beard.
It's so frustrating, because people not only actually care about the way other people live their lives, but they actually judge people and accuse them of secularism or ''not being religious enough''!

Also, a friend of mine told me that she was listening to one of our (two) radio stations, and a Sheikh was on some talk show. A caller asked him whether it was "Haram" (meaning forbidden in Islam) for a woman to read a newspaper.
I am trying very hard not to throw up right now.
And I'm not even finished telling this story.
The Sheikh replied with: "La mane' lildharoora." (Translated to: If there is a dire need for her to do so, then it is alright.)

If I ran the world, both the caller, the "Sheikh" and everyone involved in that show, would be tied to a tree, and a number of homeless people (the drunk ones with no teeth) would be employed to continuously spit on them for a number of days.
I would so be an awesome queen of the world!
Creative (and somewhat humorous) punishments, plus cleaning up the streets by giving homeless people jobs!
Did I not tell you I rocked!?

ubergirl

PS: It would be appreciated if anyone could recommend anything for me and my friends to do in Dubai.
Thanks!

Wasted Youth And A Fist Full Of Ideals

I've been depressed for quite some time now.
It might have something to do with the fact that I haven't gotten any sleep for almost three days. I think I'm officially an insomniac.

Today I met with some friends whom I love. But I sunk even deeper into my depression as a result of their tales of torment. I hate what this place does to people. Honestly, I wish you all could meet the girls I hang out with. They're the sweetest people you will ever meet. They're actually more like sisters than friends. Not many people get to break down, or goof off, or burst into tears infront of friends without feeling a little ashamed afterwards. I don't. These girls are amazing.
And I swear they're heros for what they have to put up with.
Every intelligent Saudi girl out there who goes through all this crap is a hero.

We talked about the whole camera phone issue.
Honestly some people need to get lives!
As many of you well know, over at this side of the world camera phones (which are barely legal in the first place) are not allowed at female gatherings.
No one wants their pictures "exposed"!
Why is this even an issue?
Why do people give a damn!?
And why are women the only ones affected by this "exploitation"?
Smart questions! Therefore answers are unavailable!
Want answers for: How many videos of girls getting raped or assaulted do you have on your phone?
Or: Did you see that picture of (insert female name here)!? The poor girl's been all over that Blue Tooth!
The good people of Saudi Arabia can answer these kinda questions, no problem!


It makes me sad to think of my wasted youth.
And everyone else's.

ubergirl


Oh, and I'm leaving for Dubai this Thursday.

Who The Hell Knows!

Don't you just hate people who think they know you?
There is not a specific idiot who inspired this post.. I'm just speaking in general.
A very important figure recently 'discovered' me.
Apparently, now I'm very smart.
A year ago I was the family air-head. (A very easy accomplishment, yes. You have not seen who I live with.)
Now I'm the "artsy one". The free spirit.
Okay, I am loving this new label, but I'm constantly afraid I'll disappoint.
That is besides the point, though.
Since I was crowned 'smart' by this unnamed figure, people have taken it upon themselves to discuss my future, and I don't get a say.
I think the final agreement was that I would maybe wind up writing a few books and then living in a beach house in some-where, Cali.
Yeah. My days of moshing are over, pal.

And then come the people who judge you based on the exterior. Joy.
Oh, but you look so sweet and innocent! How could you turn out to be so.. so.. not?
Everyone needs to get over themselves. Have you not heard of "Don't judge a book by it's cover!" and"Looks can be deceiving"?
The media have shoved those two sentences into everyone's head so many times... It's astounding no one's making sense out of them or applying them to everyday life.
Also, when do we truly know somebody?
I've known people my whole life, and I honestly cannot tell you I fully know anyone.
I mean, take your parents. They've been around all your life, right? You've probably lived with them 'till you turned 18, right?
Honestly, do you know your parents?
I know I don't!



ubergirl

Sexual Harassment and FutureMe

• Today I was taking part in a heated debate with one of my male relatives.

I have alot of respect for that guy, I think he's brilliant.
But today I proved my point; Men (especially Saudis) cannot in a million years understand the hell we women go through. He is quite the sophisticate, and he's very resonable and smart, but I won that battle! *Evil grin*
Ofcourse, the whole family had to get in on the action, and I ended up getting that tired "There are perverts all over the world! Don't be one of those idiots who thinks perversion is exclusive to Saudis!"

Ahem.

Sexual harassment is a crime all over the world. Authorities take action when notified of an indecent act in public. The assailant is usually arrested.
However, in Saudi Arabia, it is rather strange not to be sexualy harrased atleast five times a day (when you're a female). Two out of those five times infront of a policeman. Heck, the policeman might very well be doing the harrassing himself!
And that is the difference between sexual harassment in Saudi Arabia, and in the rest of the world. Here it is the unpunished norm. Every where else it is inacceptable.

Last summer in London I was having a delightful dinner with a few girl friends, when out of nowhere a rather drunk (Arab) man jumps one of the girls, shakes her violently, and whispers the most utterly disgusting things I have ever heard. Ofcourse I, being the drama queen that I am, ran into the restaurant demanding to see the manager. He came, and after hearing about what happened, he appologized a million times and placed a very large, scary looking man at the table next to ours to act as our body guard.

Here, a similar thing happens at almost every restaurant, almost every night, and the manager shrugs it off and says "You girls brought it on yourselves! Tsk tsk. Going out alone! You were almost begging that poor boy to assault you!"

• On a much lighter note, I have come across the most interesting page I've seen since, well, a few hours ago: FutureMe.org.

It's pretty much self explanatory.. You write an Email, and they send it to you whenever you want, whether that be a year or thirty years later. (Assuming you're using the same Email adress. I doubt you will be. Anyway, it's all in the name of fun, my good people!)
You can also browse random (anonymous) people's letters to their future selves (I desperately need a life, I know).
I have come across a few Gems:

"Hello to whoever is reading this. If you are in any way familiar my future self, I hope he isn't a total cockass. I also hope that he still thinks it is funny to use words like "cockass." Furthermore, I hope he is a pompous prick who uses words like "furthermore" in casual conversation. I have high expectations for myself."

"µ¹2010¦~ªº¦Û¤v¡G«¢«¢«¢~§A¦n§r~18·³¬J§Ú~ÁÙ°O±o¤µ¤Ñ¬O¤°»ò¤é¤l¹À~?! (§Ñ°O¤F´N¤£­n·Q°_) ²{¦b¦³¦ñ¤F¨S¦³~?!¬O¤£¬O05¦~4Aªº±i¬Y~!? (¥Õ·ö)XXD"

"Hope your lazy ass got a job by now. If not, kill yourself. Now.

...

Now."

My letter to my future self was alot less.. Errr... Colorful.


ubergirl

Sneak2, You Will Be Missed

I don't know if anyone residing in Saudi Arabia has noticed, but Sneak2 has been banned.
Now how am I gonna get my weekly fix of porn!?
Did I just say that out loud?
Oops.
Carry on.

Honestly though, don't you just hate those jackasses at ISU?
I know I do.

Now, this post is nothing but a desperate plea; To anyone residing outside of this wretched place.. Hell, to the exraordinarily lovely people who run Sneak2 themselves..
Help us!
We need another genius bypassing-blocks-and-firewalls site!
I beg of you!
Perhaps a Sneak to: Operation Saudi Arabia.
(Notice the to. Trust me, those idiots at ISU will be none the wiser.)

Wouldn't that be marvelous!

Pretty please?

Your most dedicated fan:
ubergirl

Update!
Ladies and gentlemen, approximatley 66.09 seconds after I made this post, Sneak2 was brought back to life!
It's a miracle!
Man, I'm powerful! (Or would like to think so.)

Oh.
Two minutes later it's blocked again.
They like to tease, those ISUers.

Man, Am I Weird.

Tagged by $uper Mo:

List six weird things about yourself.

#1 I consider myself a groupie.

#2 I broke my nose twice, and have no intention of getting plastic surgery to fix it! I love my crooked nose!

#3 I cannot handle physical pain. Seriously. I know you're thinking this contradicts #2, and how did I get through two broken noses?
The answer is I don't know. I don't know how I got through it. I don't even remember that pain, man.
All I know is I physically cannot handle pain.

#4 I inherited a gum problem from my father. I will not delve into gory details, but I have a dead person's gums sewed on top of my (nonexistant) ones.

#5 I come from a family of whiners. We all whine like there's no tomorrow!

#6 We have a cat that does not Meow. I think its vocal chords are missing or something. Poor Figaro.
My parents love the whole 'silent pet' concept, though.

Weird enough?

ubergirl

Rajaa's On My TV!

Last night there was interview with Rajaa' Al-Sanea on TV. It was the first time I'd ever seen/heard her actually speak out about her book, or anything else.
I love that girl, I honestly do, and I respect her like hell.
But to tell you the truth, I was not impressed.

First off; the reason I hate Arabic television was clearly demonstared on the show she was on last night: The interview was well over an hour (way too long in my book), they asked the same questions approximately 54.7 billion times (and she answered them all that many times as well), and they did not at all justly depict the people who hated her work.
All they did was talk to Lebanese people who love her, and a select few Saudis who love her, too.
And when they did read the Anti-Rajaa emails, they read the most ridiculous, non relevant accusations against her! Not her book, her!
That is not what I want to see!
I want to see her in a heated (yet sophisticated) debate with an accomplished, conservative book critic! I want to see some ass-whoopin'!
I don't want to see her being all cute and giggling at accusations of secularism and non-patriotism!

Another thing that disappointed me was that she wasn't as honest as I imagined she would be.
She was so Saudi-ishly politically correct! Ew!
I'm not saying she should work towards social exile (which looks quite appealing to me right about now..), I'm just saying she's gone all out and written a controversial book, and everything that can be said about her has already been said! Why not go all the way!? To hell with conventionalism! Screw 'em!
She shouldn't have played it safe all that much.

Please allow me to quote some of Rajaa' Al-Sanea's more interesting satements throughout last night's nightmarish excuse of an interview: (My comments are in blue)

"We live in a male dominant society, and we're trying to change that. And this male dominancy is why people are against me."
"..We're trying to change that.."?
Last I heard I still can't drive.
Why isn't she honest enough to say "Things are still pretty bad out there."
Why this desperate need to sugar coat everything!?

When asked which of the characters in her book she relates to most, she replied with a giggle and: "I hate that question!"
My God. How lame is that!
I seriously have nothing more to say.

"The book is pure fiction, from beginning to end. There is, however, a small portion that is based on non-fiction, and that is something I will never reveal."

Then why the hell mention it if you're not gonna tell us what it is!? Lameness on a stick.

"The people of Saudi Arabia do not easily accept what is new and different."
You got that right sister. They also cannot accept honesty.

What a sad excuse of a society I live in.

The very disappointed,
ubergirl

Science Sucks

The scientists of planet earth are not wroking hard enough!
They're not!
Want proof?
Here you go!:

1. They put a man on the moon, but they cannot produce a bra that is not only comfortable, but also does not make one's boobage look retarded.

2. They made it possible for me to pick up the phone, dial a number, and speak to someone residing in Antarctica, but they cannot find a one minute cure for acne. (No, Benzoyl Peroxide doesn't count! It doesn't work like they say it does.)

3. I can have my whole music library in my pocket, but I cannot pop a pill that makes me remember what a Mamnoo' min al sarf is, or when the second world war took place.

4. They can do a face transplant, but they still haven't found a cure for cancer or aids.

5. We have cars, airplanes, and rockets, but we don't have bubble gum that never looses it's flavour.

6. They have made it possible for people to have 60 inch flat screen TVs, surround sound, theatre quality speakers, and yet they connot creat a scratch resistant DVD, or for that matter a DVD player that lasts for over 2 years.

7. We do not have one medication that does not have horrible side effects.

8. They can create a human clone, and yet they haven't succeeded in creating a garment that does not shrink in the wash (or lose it's color), and does not stain.

9. We have diet pills, but there is no sure fire one minute no fuss absolute cure for the flu.

10. We can't make fat-free brownies that are edible.

ubergirl

Sexism and The Kingdom

I find it strange that every successful Saudi woman is hated by the whole of this kingdom.
Why?
I'll tell you why. It's because the authorities have brainwashed everyone into thinking women were not meant to have lives, or do anything productive.
Examples:

Rajaa Al-Sanea. Now I'm sure most of you are thinking; Yeah, we hate her for a reason!
But take everything the media and the people are telling you, and put it aside.
Why do you hate her, again?
The woman wrote a book. A very successful book. She wrote a book called "Riyadh Girls".
People think she exaggerated, generalized.
News flash!!: All writers exagerate and generalize. No one would sell any books if they didn't!
Also, if you think about it, she didn't exaggerate that much.
She took the truth, and wrote it down. I know Saudis are used to sugar coating everything, but this woman had the guts to tell the truth.
She didn't give us her opinion. She just spoke the truth in the form of a story, and yet, people are offended by her book.
Why?
And let us not forget; this is the woman that singlehandedly made thousands of people flock to bookstores and actually pick up a book and read.
Admirable, at worst.

Lubna Al-Olayan. A very successful buisiness woman. CEO of Olayan Financing Company. She's making tons o'cash.
But we Saudis have to say something negative. (She is a woman, afterall.)
She got all kinds of crap for appearing unveiled at the Jeddah Economic Forum in 2004. She was wearing a head scarf, damn it!
But to us Saudis, her "behaviour" was shameful.
Isn't she old enough to decide whether or not she wants to cover her face?
Not according to the people (and written media) of Saudi Arabia!
Shame on her. Not covering her face while giving a speech! The nerve!

I'm over this.

ubergirl

The Man In The Niquab

My cousin and I were standing infront of a stack of CDs in Bahrain's Euphoria, and out of nowhere this woman we have never seen before, walks up to us, points to another woman who's garbed in head-to-toe black, (abaya, Niquab, the whole deal) and says: "See that woman over there? In the Niquab? That there is Michael Jackson!"

So I got to meet Michael Jackson. No shit.

He was really nice. He liked my blue nail polish and he kept saying "God bless you, God bless you!"
He asked us not to tell anyone it was him. Apparently he doesn't want people knowing it's him.
You see, it's completely normal to see a tall woman with pale, pale hands in a Niquab, abaya, and huge sunglasses indoors, at 8 in the evening, walking around with an army of nannies, (yes, we saw two of his kids, minus the bags over their heads. Pretty good-looking kids, actually.) and a gang of personal assistants. Not suspisious looking at all.
I got an autographed CD. Shall post a picture of it when I figure out how. And when I actually take one.


I need to go pack. We're leaving in a few hours.

ubergirl

(For those of you who don't know, a Niquab is a face cover.)

At A Saudi Wedding

I just got back from a wedding.
In the car my mother said "We'll go in, say hi to the mother of the bride, pretend we're having the time of our lives, and leave. It'll only take an hour, tops."
I inherited my mother's lack of interest in Saudi style weddings. I cannot say it bothers me that I did.
We walked in.
Everyone looks the same. It's not even amusing.
Every one's in pink/orange/blue leopard print. Every one's boobs are hanging out. And everyone is wearing red nail polish. It's trendy now, don'tcha know.
You have to understand the expense that goes into these events. The dresses, the jewelery, the band, the food.. Not to mention what people pay to get their (indentical) hair and make up done! I decided long ago that I would not spend a riyal on hair or makeup. Total waste of money, really. The whole God damned event.
My mother and I had to say hi to a whole bunch of people I don't know and couldn't care less about if you payed me.
They all said the exact same things in their identical outfits and hairstyles; "Remember me!?" To which I'm thinking 'How the fuck do you know my name, you fuck up?' But ofcourse, I contort my face into a polite/confused/trying to remember expression.
"MashaAllah! 3aroosa!" (Translated to 'You look lovely, a bride!')
In Saudi Arabia people say 'you look like a bride!' as a compliment. You see, I know little girls (and women) all over the world are brain washed into wanting to get married, but in Saudi Arabia it is particularly sickening.
When someone says I look like one I think 'No, I certainly do not look like a 3aroosa (bride), and I never, ever will.'
As I sat there watching people's heads bob up up and down while dancing in the aisle to horrible Tagg music; for the first time in my life I was happy that I don't belong. For the first time ever, I liked that I'm different.

ubergirl


(Update: I'm leaving for Bahrain tomorrow. I think I'll be back on Sunday though. I'm not too sure. I just realized this update is virtually useless. Sorry. Carry on with your lives.)

Stop Calling Me!

Okay, why is everyone obsessed with phone calls!? They waste time, money, and fucking brain cells. Scientifically proven!
If you call me, and I don't pick up, it means I don't think your call is important enough for me to take.
It does not mean leave me another five missed calls, and it definitely does not mean try calling my house.
If I say 'Sorry, I misplaced my phone' ,or 'My phone wasn't with me at the time' or anything else, there's a very good chance I'm lying to you.
Why, you want to know? Why don't I just pick up!?
I'll tell you why! Do you know when the last time I had a decent, productive phone conversation was?
Never.
That's right. Never. And I very much doubt I ever will.
So, let me give you a crash course in phone call 'etiqquette':
Rule #1 Never, ever call without texting first. Send me a text message with all the wonderful, glorious facts you wish to shove into my brain. If I think whatever it is you want might be of some value to me, I'll call back.
Rule #2 Do not ring once and hang up, expecting me to call you back because you "Don't want to run up your phone bill". That is just rude. If you can't handle the simple task of controlling your phone bill, then you are irresponsible, and you do not deserve to have a cell phone.
Rule #3 When I say I'm busy, I mean I'm fucking busy. I don't care that you just want five seconds of my time. I'm busy.
Rule #4 If you want to talk to me, talk to me in person. What happened to good old fashioned face to face conversations, for God's sake!?

That is all for now.
And no, I will not be calling anyone back.

ubergirl

I Tagged Myself

I realized that my blog says nothing about me. So I think the best way to solve this is by tagging myself. My cousin actually Emailed this to me.
Here it is:

1. Time of starting This? 9:48 PM

2. Were you named after anyone? Yes, you see my parents are extremely original.

3. Do you wish on stars? No.

4. When did you last cry? I honestly don't remember.

5. What is your favourite meat? Broccoli.

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? Hmm.. Probably an old Britney Spears CD.

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Fuck, yeah! I rock, man!

8. Are you a daredevil? Not really, no.

9. How do you release anger? I shout, and punch something untill my fists hurt. And then I shout some more.

10.Where is your second home? My Grandma's house.

11. Do you trust others easily? No.

12. What was your favourite toy as a child? Dusty, from My Little Pony Tails. (Or was it 'My Little Pony Tales'? I'm confused.)

13. What class in school do you think is totally useless? Arabic and Islamic studies. I've been studying them for over 10 years.

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes.

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Yes. Not pleasant.

16. What do you look for in a guy/girl? I want a guy who'll respect the hell outta me.

17. Would you bungee jump? Fuck no.

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.

19. What's your favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate.

20. What are your favourite colours? Blue and green.

21. What is your least favourite thing? Disrespect.

22. Who do you miss most right now? My Grand father.

23. What are you listening to right now? Strangely, nothing.

24. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Blue-green.

25. What is the weather like right now? Chilly.

26. Last person you talked to on the phone? I don't remeber. I have the memory span of a gold fish.

27. Do you like the person who sent you this? Yeah.

28. How are you today? Alright.

29. Favourite drink? Chocolate milk.

30. Favourite alcoholic drink? I don't drink alcohol.

31. Natural hair colour? Black.

32. Eye colour? Dark brown.

33. Wear contacts? Yes.

34. Favourite month? October. My birthday's on the 10th.

35. Favourite food? Mama Anne's shrimp salad. Yummy!

36. last movie you watched? Diary Of A Mad Black Woman.

37. Favourite day of the year? October 10th.

38. Scary movies or happy endings? Neither.

39. Summer or winter? Summer.

40. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. What a cheesey question, lol.

41. What book/magazine are you reading? George Orwell's 1984.

42. What's on your mouse pad? Nothing. It's blue, though.

43. What did you watch on TV last night? The Swan.

44. Favourite actor/actress? Johnny Depp, at the moment. And not because he's "hot". I actually don't think he's good looking at all. He's a very talented actor.

45. Favourite singer/band? Greenday.

46. Time of finishing? 10:12 PM.

I tag anyone who's reading this.

Amr Khalid Is A Rock Star

I love Amr Khalid.
That man is the only person who can talk for 2 hours straight without saying anything that would offend me. Or make me hate the world. Or even make me roll my eyes, for God's sake.
He is the epitome of all the good in the world. He gives me hope.
What I love most about him, is how he absolutely insists that women, and not men, are more significant throughout the history of Islam. The first believer, the first martyr, they were both women! I love how while giving a lecture to an audience of men, he insists on mentioning how women influence their lives each and every day.
Also, he is never without a smile on his face. And people who have met him say he is the nicest person you will ever meet.
He prays for us all, and he wants us all to be happy. I honestly think he does.
Allah ywafgo.
I heart Amr Khalid!!

ubergirl

How I Spent The 22nd Of December

Thursday was quite eventful. My 9 year old sister got sick, and I took her to the hospital.
The same doctor who treated me as a child was checking her up. As I looked into his dull blue eyes, I felt releived that he didn't remember me. I hated him so much when I was younger. I don't know why, though. Maybe it's because I wasted many precious hours in the waiting room of his clinic, therefore I assosiated him with boredom and down-right meanness.
Then came the shocker:
"Your sister is very sick, ma'am." He droned.
I said nothing. I looked like a paniced idiot, though. You can bet on that.
He then said some Doctor-y stuff to the nurse (do they intend for us not to understand a word they're saying? It sure looks like they fucking do.)
Two hours and (what looked like a very painful) blood test later, the news came through; she was okay.
We went home and ordered a pizza.

ubergirl

Brain Farts: The Sequel

(Click here for the original)

It's fun to say 'blubber'. I just ate. Cheesey movies must all be destroyed. I tell people that I speak Spanish when infact I can only count to ten in Spanish. I must have been a tree in a past life. I hate censorship of any kind. Green's a pretty color. Yo' momma jokes are not amusing. I giggle alot. Shakespear was a perverted old man. I wish Elvis were still alive. I wish I could be Paris Hilton for a day. Arabic is hard. I wish I cound speak Arabic half as well as I could "speak"Spanish. My cat died last year. I have never seen 'The God Father'. I pretend to like all God's living creatures when infact I hate reptiles and firmly believe they must all die horrible deaths. I enjoy asking people akward questions. I'm not big-headed I'm just really really good looking. I only passed 12th grade math by coincidence. I only passed 12th grade biology by coincidence. My graduating high school was a fucking coincidence. Winnie the Pooh should consider changing his last name.

Comment with your own!
ubergirl

We Are NOT Perfect Muslims!

For extra credit in Islamic Studies, our professor asked us to listen to an Islamic tape and write a report on it.
I listened to it.
There is something that completely baffles me, everytime somebody mentions it; Saudis are supposed to set an example for muslims everywhere.
Why?
I realize that we were born into Islam, and were raised as Muslims, but so were many other people.
I'm not saying I don't want us Saudis to become Muslims that are looked up to, I'm just saying it's not fair to expect us to be perfect people, and look down on us when you find out we're not.
I'd love to see my fellow Saudis all praying five times a day, giving to the poor, and fasting the whole month of Ramad'han. I truly would. But that's not the way the world works.
Islam should not be judged by the actions of Saudis. The prophet (pbuh) may have been born on this land, but let us not forget; he was not Saudi.

ubergirl

Granny On Speed

Today someone complimented me on my attire. Apparently, my striped shirt and pink sweater made me look lika a "Granny on Speed".
Yes, I'm taking that as a compliment, thank you very much!
I feel like a granny on speed aswell, strangley enough.

I keep getting these weird-ass chain letter text messages, something about getting a phone call at 11 in the morning.. Weird shit.
What I want to know is; who the hell falls for this crap!?
Doesn't anyone know that the phone companies are behind these chain-text messeges!?
Idiots.
The same goes for Emails.
Did you get the "I have no eyes and I'm coming after you if you don't send this to 21 people! Boo!" one?
I did. I was 10. Scared the shit out of me, I tell you.
Chain letters must die.

Some dude's been phone-stalking me. I leave my phone on for 15 minutes, and I get an average of 8 missed calls from the guy.
He sends me text messages asking me why I texted him a week ago. I checked my sent messages file, I never sent him anything.
How do I know it's a guy, you ask?
I just do.

I have nothing more to say.

ubergirl

I'm Afraid I'll Kill Someone

I know I'm considered 'weird' by 'normal' people's standards, but this is something that I need to confess:

I am constantly afraid that I'll accidentally kill someone.

I am not joking, this is seriously one of my worst fears.
'How?', You ask?
I could place something on the ground, someone could trip over it, and die.
I could accidentally spill a toxic substance (like nail polish remover) into somebody's food, and they'd die.
I could maybe..
Enough with the examples already.
It really could happen! I could kill someone I love!
And if I don't, I could kill someone else, and the people that loved them would think it was all my fault, when it wasn't, and I'd have to live with the guilt..
*sighs*
It's what happens in Lord Of The Flies, and it's scary, for God's sake!
It just seems so easy. Like something that can easily happen.

And no, I don't go anywhere near babies, in case you're wondering.
ubergirl

Update: I tried to look up my phobia, this is all I could find. Fear of killing someone is listed under 'Actions'. Apparently, my phobia doesn't even have a name. It's just referred to as a strange phobia. Charming.

Manners Are Dead.

Tuesday through Thursday, I believe, there was an exibition at PSU (Prince Sultan Uni).
Guess what?
From what I hear, they had unexpected visitiors.
Apparently, a bunch of very conservative looking women stormed in, and headed for a stand that sold star sign bracelets.
"Hatha eesh!?" Asked one woman, angrily. (Translation: What are these!?)
"Asawir Abraj." The girl replied. (Translation: Star sign bracelets)
"Ah. Maktoob BilFarancy!?" Snapped the woman. (Translation: They're in French!?)
"La, English."
"SA5EEFA!" Shrieked the woman, as she flung a bracelet at the girl. (Translation: Either SILLY! or STUPID!, I'm not really sure.)

Before I go on, I'd just like to ask, what happened to good old fashioned manners, for God's sake?
This woman thinks she's being religious.. Islam calls for tolerance, respect, and most of all manners!

So the woman and her accomplices walk into the cafeteria, where music is being played, and some girls were dancing.
She gave everyone a dirty look, then left the exibition.
Ten minutes later the Muttawas surrounded the area.

Now, other than the fact that what these women have done is not how true muslims should behave, it really isn't any of their business what those girls were up to.
Many Muslims don't think music is Haram ( Translation: forbidden in Islam), and many of them don't beleive a Hijab includes covering one's face.
It is not those people's place to be "disiplining" the world.
They hardly know anything themselves (about relegion or otherwise).
I just wish they would all take the time to look at what they're doing, and come to realize that they are behaving like five year olds.

ubergirl

Pick Ups and Drop Offs

I'm going out today, and the initial agreement was that I would meet my friend there.
I got a text message from her. It said: When do you want to leave?
I know what that means; it means she wants me to pick her up. Like she always does.
Now, I don't know if it's just me, or is it annoying to pick people up and drop them off? It is just frustrating since I can't tell her I don't like doing it, and I'm afraid to hurt her feelings.
I do enjoy her company emmensley.. I just think; if I didn't offer to do it, don't ask me to.
Do you think it's annoying, or is it just me?

ubergirl

Do They LOVE Censorship or what!?

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The Girl In The Class Room at 7:30

Around the 3rd or 4rth week of school, I walked into class extremely early, (it was about 7:3o, and class started at 8. Apparently I was pretty darn excited 'bout sum'in!).
I thought I could sit in the silence (there was only one other girl in class, and she was busy applying her make up), and maybe catch up on some reading or something.
I don't know if you've noticed this yet, but in my life, things usually take a turn for the unexpected.
I was staring like an idiot into space, completely oblivious to my surroundings, when I heard someone weeping.
I turned to see the girl was crying. Shaking uncontrolably.
She called my name. I was quite scared, I didn't know who this girl was, and she know my name.
"Come here," she said. "There's something I'd like to share with you."
I was torn between going to console her and running like a maniac out the door and then out of that wretched University..
I went to her.
"Errmm.. What's the matter?" I asked, hesitating a little.
"I'm about to tell you something that you cannot under any circumstances repeat to anyone else in the class."
I'm afraid to say, (as always) curiosity got the best of me. I agreed not to tell anyone in class, or otherwise.
"A man has asked for my hand in marriage," She began, sobbing.
"W..Well, that's great, congratulations."
"And his brother has asked for my older sister's hand in marriage."
"Alright, why are you so upset, then?"
"I don't want to marry him!"
"Then don't." I said, smiling.
"It's not that simple. My sister really wants to marry her Fiance, and if I say no, both men will withhold thier offers. And my father has already accepted both offers, and everything is almost finalised! Oh I don't want to marry that man!"
"Is he a bad man?" (Cut me some slack! I didin't know what to reffer to him as.)
"No, on the contrary, he is a wonderful man, both he and his brother are. He is all that I ever wanted in a husband."
"Again; what's the problem, then? Marry him. It'll make you, your dad and you sister happy."
"I'm not ready."
For the first time in my life, I was speechless. I was for almost the entirety of that conversation. You must know that the conversation did not go as smoothly as you might think from reading this.
You must also understand, that she was the kind of person you don't really talk freely with; very conservative. I can't ask her to defy her family's wishes.. For her that would be unthinkable. Unimaginable.
"Talk to your dad and sister, then. Try to make them understand that you feel you're not emotionaly ready for marriage." For God's sake, who is at nineteen!?
"There's something else. My father has Lukemia."
Shit.
Okay, the biggest desision I ever had to make was 3ilmi aw adabi? (Translation: the scientific or literary section in highschool?). The most life-altering choice I ever had to make was weather I wanted a black kittie, or a ginger one.
"He's worried he'll pass away and there won't be anyone to take care of us."
Still speechless.
I mustered up enough courage to utter :"Do what will make your father happy."
I had never in my life felt more like a worthless, insignificant spoilt little brat.
Ilhamdu-lilah, I thank God Almighty. If I were this girl, I don't know what I would've done.

I have not talked to her since that fateful morning. What do you say to someone who's going through all this? How do you look them in the eye?
All I can say is I hope she's happy. Her engagement party supposedly took place over Eid break.

I can't help but feel that I've got it easy..
ubergirl

Closure

I went back to school yesterday.
For the first time since last June, I believe.
I did not expect to get choked up while driving through the front gates. But, (thank God,) as soon as I walked down that hall and saw Q, I wen back to loathing Highschool.
I remember sitting in class, staring at the college girls who came to visit, and envying them. I wanted to get out of there so badly.. And now I am out.
I get to walk around in the hallways while people are in class, and no one can tell me "Get back in that class or I will call your mother, young lady!".
I get to bring my cell phone to school! I never thought I'd see the day!
But somehow, I did get that feeling of ''I'm home again!'' while walking down those hallways. I did want to hug everyone I came across. It feels like just yesterday we were all posing next to (what we call) our school's landmarks, taking the last pictures we would take of ourselves as highschool students, and shouting ''We will never again have to walk in here wearing these God damned uniforms!!''
My little trip down memory lane was not as spiritual as I thought it'd be.
Don't laugh at me, but I though I was special. Or atleast I thought our Class Of 2005 was special. I thought that after I left, they would shut down the school citing; ''It just isn't the way it used to be.'' (Very 3rd gradeish of me, I know)
They didn't. I guess I'm not as special as I led myself to believe.

The (shockingly) unspecial;
ubergirl

Flight Plan

I saw the movie Flight Paln, and was very offended.
The movie takes place in an airplane, right?
"So who better," thought Hollywood, "to play the guy who looks like a villian, than an angry looking bearded Arab? Perfect!"
And highly original, Hollywood, really.
I am sick and tired of Hollywood portraying Arabs as ignorant, evil people. We are not. So stop pretending we are, and while you're at it, try to make movies that are not crap, please (I know this is very difficult for you).

Please, do not watch Flight Plan. Don't buy the DVD. I think we should boycott all movies that offend Arabs. I started.
ubergirl

My Alter Ego And My Presentation

I believe you've noticed the link on the right that says 'My Alter Ego'.
You see, I've discovered that I can sometimes turn into Ms.Nasty who hates the world.
Therefore, I created a new blog for Ms.Nasty me (And Ms.Nasty me swears alot, so parental advisory and all that crap, lol).

Today I did a presentation on 'The Punk Culture'. It is very frustrating when you've put your heart and soul into explaining something to someone, and all they do is stare at you blankly while drooling over God knows what.
I had to endure 43 of those people today.
And after class, a bunch of girls came up to me and said: "Uhh.. We liked the pictures in your slide show!"
What?
I felt like asking the question that pops into my head whenever I encounter infuriatingly ignorant people: Are you five?! Are you as amused by colorful pictures as a toddler?!
I worked very hard on the information I presented. I searched, drafted, wrote, and rewrote a million times! And all you can think of is to compliment me on the pictures I googled!?
I know I must sound big headed, everyone likes a compliment, right?
Wrong. Not when it's about something as trivial as pictures in (what I thought was) a truly interesting presentation!
You know what the problem is?! Our youth is so glued to the Rotana screen that they don't even think about acquiring an effing hobby!

I'm probably blabbering and not making sense.
ubergirl

Anonymous Me

I walked into KSU this morning, (I go in through gate 3), and saw that what was only three weeks ago a perfectly normal looking room, was now in ruins. I have no idea when, how, or why. All I know is that it was not the best way to wake up at eight AM.
I got to class on time though, which is always good.

I got an A- in grammar. I don't know how. I studied my ass off (not really, lol. I just enjoy saying 'I studied my ass off'), I hate how I suddenly turn into an idiot once I lay my hands on an exam paper.

When I first got accepted at KSU, I was thrilled. I didn't know anyone who was majoring in English Lit., and I couldn't wait to walk into a classroom and be anonymous.
Anonymity is really a blessing, (that unfortunately, does not last very long). Really, being able to sit in a room full of people and not have to talk to anyone! And be able to read a book, or listen to some music while faceless people around you talk about things you can't really hear. Bliss.

At my highschool, you were a dork if you were anonymous. I'm sorry, but it's really hard for me to care what people think of me. I don't know if I'm 'mature', or I just simply don't give a damn.

I miss the girls at highschool.
I say it with no shame now. Strange how I miss the past the moment it stops being the present.
I feel like I'm missing out on everything when I see them these days.
Like, there's this girl I know who's piss-your-pants hillarious, and every time I see her now, I think; 'I probably missed a million of her jokes'. And what's sad is that I did.

I wouldn't mind one more of Q's classes right about now, lol.
And I thought I felt left out in highschool.

I am not contradicting myself. Wanting to be anonymous is not wanting to be left out. When I'm anonymous, I could be anything to anybody. It's kind of complicated.
When I'm left out, people know who I am, but don't relate to me, and I don't to them. It's like being the odd one out. Whereas when you're anonymous you're not one in the first place.

I want to be seventeen again.
ubergirl

Beirut Taxis

I'm in Beirut! The weather's awesome, and I get to give my Abaya a rest, (at-fucking-last!)
Taxi drivers here are funny, man. They LOVE to honk them horns!
You could be walking down the street, and a taxi would pull up to you, the driver would roll the window down and shout "TAXIIII!?". And after shaking your head (rather violently) no, he'd motion for you to get in, (also rather violently). A few minutes later you'd find yourself absolutely screaming "NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO!". It's all quite dramatic, actually.
Come to think of it, every taxi ride I've gotten has been an experience. (Infact, the ones I haven't gotten are aswell, strangely enough..)
About a year ago now, Our whole (extended) family went on a skiing vacation in Austria *que the sound-track to The Sound Of Music*. Two of my cousins and I called a taxi to pick us up from the hotel we were staying at. To our utter horror; a tiny ancient looking pink taxi pulled up infront of our hotel.
At first, we saw the hilarity in our predicament, (Really; have YOU ever seen a hot pink taxi?) and started giggling. Then, the driver, who turned out to be a ridiculously old, ridiculuosly skinny, toothless chap, turned around and said; "Vutt are you gurlz laughing at!? Eh??".
We said nothing.
"EH??"
"Err.. Nothing."
Later on, we discovered the little man smoked like a god-damned chimney. The smell was overwhelming. I asked him to stop, (my cousin had started to cough, and her eyes were turning red) and he said "No, next time, you assk for a non-smoking driverr."
Can you imagine? We could have died right then and there from inhaling all that smoke! (Or someting)
We asked if he would mind opening a window.
"Yess."
I asked if he could please turn the radio on
"NO!"
At that moment he swerved infront of a red light. We were not only going to drive past a red light, we were about to hit a little old lady.
about 15 minutes into the ride, he rolled down his window, stuck his head out, and started shouting (what sounded like) German curse words at random people.
We later found out that he is quite fond of shouting curse words at random people. (Who, as a result, wound up laughing their asses off.) Imagine an old,toothless man shouting at you from inside a pink car. (Why PINK, for God's sake!?)
We got to our destination about 3o minutes later. What should have been a 15 minute ride, wound up a 45 minute adventure in a little pink cab.
Beware, the wrath of the dreaded Pink Taxi. *Mwahahahaaaaaa!*
ubergirl

Boys Are Stupid, Just Ask Cupid (Or Anyone Else, Really)

What is wrong with Saudi males!? They seem to think that they're the shit. Let me tell you, they are not.
There is something I have been dying to mention; Saudi boys enjoy very strange things. They like racing thier $150,000 cars in public streets, being rude to Saudi girls in particular (I think this stems from insecurity. They are niether charming, nor good looking, so they have no way of impressing girls, therefore they act like complete jackasses), and throwing little pieces of paper with thier phone numbers written on at female passer-by.
As I mentioned, they like racing cars and preforming dangerous stunts. And as you may have guessed, this causes hundreds of car crashes. Daily.
There is a street called 'Al-Tahlia' in Riyadh that Saudi kids, (mostly teenagers) like to go to. If you ever pass by it, you may notice that there are no females sitting in any of the restaurants or coffee shops. This is the result of the grudge the government has against women. You see, women are not allowed in any of the restaurants or coffee shops. I would know, because I once tried to get in, and was reduced to standing outside the restaurant and ordering my food to go.
I once heard a story a girl at school was telling. She and some friends were driving (not literally ofcourse. They, like most Saudi families, have hired male drivers) through Al-Tahlia, and they were being chased by a boy in a B.M.W. Ofcourse, he was not looking at the road, so he crashed into a wall or a pole or something, and died.
Ofcourse, not all Saudi boys are careless drivers. There are boys who genuinley accidentally crash. But I believe that only a few do, and most boys involved in crashes caused them, and out of sheer stupidity.
You can ask any Saudi family, and they'll tell you they knew a young man who died in a car accident.
So, to any parents who happen to be reading this: please stop giving your children cars to crash! If you want to kill your kid, go ahead. Just don't let them put us all in danger.
Stay safe, (and don't forget your seatbelts!).
ubergirl
Oh! And Happy Mushroom Day! (LOL I'm sorry, that text message CRACKED ME UP!)
Kol 3amm o into b5eer!

A Bit Of My Highschool Journal

I was going through my old high school stuff, when I came across my old journal.
I thought I'd give you a look at my old angst-ridden adolecent self:

The woman is a lunatic. The last time I tried to have an intelligent conversation with her, I wound up laughing my head off.
I hate people who get angry an shout alot. I find loud voices seriously disturbing.
That's why I did not attend Q's* class today. I just cannot handle her insisting on being unreasonable and uncivilized. She's a sweet old lady, but sometimes I do question her mental stability, like I do many others'.
I just wish I could leave here. I am tired of living in this bubble.

This life-like dream
Ain't for me

There is nothing to do here in this hell-hole. Maniacs randomly roam the streets, the heat is unbearable (as is the stench), everything is always dirty and dusty and it is quite normal to find twelve to forty year olds suffering from an unexplainable depression that just knaws at your heart.
The British Council is having a creative writing contest. Contestans are asked to write a story. The theme is 'I Belong', which makes me laugh, because that is the only topic I cannot wirte a single word on. Because I quite simply don't belong.


Aww! Wasn't I a precious-widdle angst-widden tween!?
ubergirl

*Q taught me Tawheed (I think), in high school.

The Media Are Being Idiots Again.

I was once looking at a magazine, and one of the headlines read: 'New Study Shows That Most Car Accidents In Saudi Arabia are Caused by Males.'
I do not blame the magazine for wasting precious paper on such an idiotic article, as much as I blame the poor, poor fool who's studying the matter. It must have taken him an eternity to figure that out.
It is disgusting how the media completely ignores the serious matters in this country! It just makes me want to shout: DON'T ACT LIKE WE LIVE IN A PERFECT COUNTRY, BACAUSE WE ARE FAR FROM BEING PERFECT.
I wanted to get that off my chest. I have.
I'll be posting today again, but at a decent hour.
Untill then, don't get into any female-induced car accidents! I hear they're becoming quite common here.
ubergirl

Woman, ARE YOU BLIND!?

Although I am a woman, (or am on my way to becoming one), there is one thing I do not understand about my fellow females. I know for a fact that we are not weak, so why do we (by being vunerable) fall prey to men? Why would a beautiful, smart, well-off young woman, allow a disgusting pig of a man she calls her husband/boyfriend to disrespect her?
I thought marriage (and all relationships) was about two people who share mutual understanding, trust, and most importantly; respect for eachother.
In my mind, that is the definition of love.
Apparently, many women settle for second best. Or even for absolutely horrible.
I, for the life of me, will never understand why. And I believe I'm better off not understanding.

ubergirl