Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I'm Afraid I'll Kill Someone

I know I'm considered 'weird' by 'normal' people's standards, but this is something that I need to confess:

I am constantly afraid that I'll accidentally kill someone.

I am not joking, this is seriously one of my worst fears.
'How?', You ask?
I could place something on the ground, someone could trip over it, and die.
I could accidentally spill a toxic substance (like nail polish remover) into somebody's food, and they'd die.
I could maybe..
Enough with the examples already.
It really could happen! I could kill someone I love!
And if I don't, I could kill someone else, and the people that loved them would think it was all my fault, when it wasn't, and I'd have to live with the guilt..
It's what happens in Lord Of The Flies, and it's scary, for God's sake!
It just seems so easy. Like something that can easily happen.

And no, I don't go anywhere near babies, in case you're wondering.

Update: I tried to look up my phobia, this is all I could find. Fear of killing someone is listed under 'Actions'. Apparently, my phobia doesn't even have a name. It's just referred to as a strange phobia. Charming.


Mochness said...

Remind me to never EVER leave my food unattended with you around...

*backs out of the Blog as quietly as humanly possible*

Jo said...

I'm afraid I'll kill STINK WINKY 2!

ubergirl87 said...

Mocha: ACCIDENTALLY. Accidentally!

Jo: What?

Mochness said...

Okay then, remind me to never EVER leave my food unattended with you around, so you wouldn't accidentally kill me :P


ubergirl87 said...

Mocha: Much better :-p

Mochness said...

Glad we had that cleared up :P

Dotsson said...

What does ubergirl mean?

ubergirl87 said...

Dotsson: Uber means 'Super' in German. So ubergirl means supergirl.

BaSSeM said...

i don't have the exact same fear but rather a similar one.. i think i'm totally capable of killing someone else but not "anyone".. i have certain types of ppl that in my opinion their disappearance will make the world a better place to live in!

PS. i'd only kill them by hitting them with something.. poison and such things are too girly!

ubergirl87 said...

Bassem: Aah! So poison is a rather 'girly' method of KILLING SOMEONE, Mr.Macho man? :-p

Bissa said...

LOL that reminds me, i had a dream the other night that i was holding my new born cousin and i accidently hugged her too hard that i killed her, i woke-up from that nightmare crying !
man, it's terrifing !

Anonymous said...

I think your fears are more founded in a deep rooted issue more like 'lack of control over your life' .. honestly... I had a friend who had a similar phobia and she thought she could actually hurt someone even just passing them in the street.. she was diagnosed and told that she suffered severe lack of confidence and loss of control over her life.. she left her husband and got a job and as far as I know has been fine since... You're obviously not as bad as this but its still worth taking note... still reading thru your posts, great blog !

Almost Silent said...

In Lord of the FLies, they were acting as a pack, caught in the moment of the hunt. They were scared children who thought they were being attacked by a beast...Slightly different to what you're scared of.

Anonymous said...

I think you have OCD. Make a contact with a mental adviser. You what I mean. It's like, to feel getting and accident when you drive. But if you be careful and of course if the luck helps you you don't get involved any kinda accident. Face it and play with babies. Nothing is gonna happen.