I walked into KSU this morning, (I go in through gate 3), and saw that what was only three weeks ago a perfectly normal looking room, was now in ruins. I have no idea when, how, or why. All I know is that it was not the best way to wake up at eight AM.
I got to class on time though, which is always good.
I got an A- in grammar. I don't know how. I studied my ass off (not really, lol. I just enjoy saying 'I studied my ass off'), I hate how I suddenly turn into an idiot once I lay my hands on an exam paper.
When I first got accepted at KSU, I was thrilled. I didn't know anyone who was majoring in English Lit., and I couldn't wait to walk into a classroom and be anonymous.
Anonymity is really a blessing, (that unfortunately, does not last very long). Really, being able to sit in a room full of people and not have to talk to anyone! And be able to read a book, or listen to some music while faceless people around you talk about things you can't really hear. Bliss.
At my highschool, you were a dork if you were anonymous. I'm sorry, but it's really hard for me to care what people think of me. I don't know if I'm 'mature', or I just simply don't give a damn.
I miss the girls at highschool.
I say it with no shame now. Strange how I miss the past the moment it stops being the present.
I feel like I'm missing out on everything when I see them these days.
Like, there's this girl I know who's piss-your-pants hillarious, and every time I see her now, I think; 'I probably missed a million of her jokes'. And what's sad is that I did.
I wouldn't mind one more of Q's classes right about now, lol.
And I thought I felt left out in highschool.
I am not contradicting myself. Wanting to be anonymous is not wanting to be left out. When I'm anonymous, I could be anything to anybody. It's kind of complicated.
When I'm left out, people know who I am, but don't relate to me, and I don't to them. It's like being the odd one out. Whereas when you're anonymous you're not one in the first place.
I want to be seventeen again.