The Number You Have DIaled Cannot Be Reached...

I dislike AlJawwal and Saudi Telecom.
They are such assholes.
Expensive assholes.

If you work for them (or own them), please Email me.
We need to have a discussion.

ubergirl

(don't worry, my fellow 3umala2 (customers) I'll give them an ass kicking they won't soon forget.)
Long live Mobily!

The Muhamadiyah Attack

Things that frustrate me have been popping up out of no where this past week.
Take, for instance, this.
Why is that story still in the news?
It happened 10 years ago.
Not to mention it is her parent's fault.

Whereas, this is rarely mentioned in the news.

You know, the story of how four of the soldiers who are fighting for the freedom of Iraq raped a 14 year old girl and then murdered her along with the rest of her family.*
This is apparently one of many cases we haven't heard the details of.
I'm sure it's all to do with stopping the terrrissts from acquiring new-key-ler weapons.
Seriously, why is that not in the news all the time?
It sure as hell deserves to be!
I would very much like to see those soldiers trialed and senteced in Iraqi courts.

What is wrong with everyone!?
Why isn't anyone outraged? Why are American soldiers still in Iraq? They aren't happy there, and niether are the Iraqis! Get them back to their homes!
If I were American I'd demand that American soldiers be brought back home.
Honestly, let the Arabs sort out their own mess. No one asked America to police the world!

But I'm not American, I'm Arabic.
And I hate what's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan and Palestine.
And there's absolutely nothing I can do.
I hate not being able to fix things.
It's so frustrating!

And so the never-ending circle of frustration continues.

ubergirl


*Again: No offence to the Americans. I just don't like your government very much.

My One Hundredth Post

I don't want anyone to congratulate me. Save yourself the effort.
Instead I want everyone to watch this.
Please please please, watch this video with an open mind.
Actually listen to what George Galloway is saying. Listen.

George Galloway is a Rockstar.


ubergirl

A Few Of My Experiences With Arab Men, Part One

There is a group of Moroccans who make a point to shout "Habeebi!" (Darling!) whenever we pass by them. I hear it almost three times a week.
What is that about?

No, seriously?


I was having lunch with my sister today, we were both reading.
Now normally, when someone is reading, it is like they have a large 'Do Not Disturb' sign magically hanging over them, isn't it?
Not to the Arab male, apparently.
"Those men have been staring at us for the past half hour."
I look up and catch one's eye. He points at his friend who is walking over to us.
"Marhaba!" (Greetings!)
"Marhaba."
"Are you Arabic?"
I am tempted to say (in Arabic) "No, we are Vietnamese.", but decide I am not in the mood for this 60 something year old man to think I'm being cute.
"Uhh... Yes. We're Saudi."
"I knew it! I have been arguing that you are Arabic with those gentlemen over there. They think you're Italian."
"Yeah. We're not." I smile and go back to my book.
I look up and he's still there, leaning on our table.
"I am Dr.WhoGivesAShitWhatHisNameIs, from Syria."
Silence.
"And... Where in Saudi Arabia do you live."
My sister says, "The capital." with out looking up from her book.
"Ahh! We lived there for almost 20 years! From 19HowTheFuckIsThis to 19UsefulToMe?!"
"That's before we were even born."
"Hoho! Yes it is!"
"Are you girls here on vacation?"
"Yes."
"Is your family here with you?"
"Yes."
"Do you study here?"
"No."
"Where do you study?"
"Riyadh."

Why has this clown not left yet? I think two minutes later.

"Who is your father?"
"Excuse me?"
"What is the name of your father?"
I ignore him.
"Where do you live? What street?"
"Sir, you came here wanting to know whether we were Arabic, now you know. I don't see how any of your other questions are relevant."
He starts blubbering about how he didn't want to cause us any 'inconvenience.'
Well, he has.
And no, curiosity doesn't justify any of his questions. I was polite enough to answer a few, but he is still one of the most annoying people I have ever come across.


Lastly is a little Saudi boy (the ones who have green mustaches) that follows us everywhere and knows exactly where we are at all times.
Without anyone even paying him.
He is usually seen with his gang of teenage boys, making a fool of himself.
All very exciting, I assure you.

ubergirl

Oh, and happy birthday LuLu!

Why Isn't The World Saying Anything?

One thing I wil never ever ever understand is why the whole world stands by and lets things like the war in Lebanon happen.
I can't believe no one's forcing Israel into a cease fire.
They are pulling children out of the rubble.
Children.

The whole concept of war is something I will never understand, either.
Growing up, they teach you that conflict is solved the "adult way" by talking things over.
And yet here we are, in the 21st century bombing the hell out of everything. (We, as in humans.)
Why are weapons even made?
Guns, bombs, the whole deal.
Why?
There is absolutely no need for any of it.

And if we're going to accuse Iran of supplying weapons to Hizbullah, we should also look into America supplying Israel with weapons. It is also supplying African countries (including Sierra Lione) with weapons, fueling the civil war.*
Or is that "different"?
I'll bet it is.

I know nothing about war, politics, or casualties, but I find it strange that over 700 people (30-40% of them children) have been killed in almost 4 weeks. I find it stranger that Israel is doing all of this because of two hostages, who are soldiers.
What I find even stranger still, is that Hizbullah are the only people who have pointed out that Israel has thousands of civillian hostages. No one seems to be paying much attention to that little fun fact.

No matter how I look at this, Hizbollah are in the right. Whether I watch Al-Jazeera or CNN, I come to the same conclusion.
I know in matters like this there is no "wrong" and "right", but in this particular case it is glaringly obvious.
I wish no harm upon the Israelis, Americans, or anyone else, but I'd like to state clearly that Hizbullah are in the right.
Again: I am completely opposed to war, and the killing of innocent people.
I'm just stating what I have concluded.

War is a fucker.
Let's all play nice.

ubergirl

*No offence to the Americans, but your government does do that stuff. It doesn't make you bad people, it just means I personally am not too fond of your government.
I'm not too fond of mine, either, but that's a whooole 'nother post.

Yay for Italy!

The day Italy won the world cup was fun.
Italians are partiers.
I was kind of sort of rooting for France in the beginning.
Only because of Zedane, though.
That man oozes sex appeal.

When Italy won I cheered like my life counted on it.
Because I'm a backstabber and all I care about is winning.
What's it to you, butt munch?
(I'm paying homage to Beavis and Butthead because I love them for being the only show on German TV that is subtitled and not voice-overed. DADADAAAA!!)

We wore flags as capes and ran around the streets of London shouting "ITALIA!" at French passer-by.
We did get the occasional "Fook off.", and what I'm sure was a string of French obscenities, to which a "Haha. Don't be bitter about loosing, budd. It's only football!" was an appropriate retaliation.
Otherwise "You fuck off! You're the ones that lost! HAH!" worked, too.

And the Italians... Boy do I love y'all.
You weren't nasty when you found out we weren't Italian.
And you were even nice enough to let us keep pretending we were.
We fooled a hell of a lot of people.

Haha. Some guy came charging over to us, picked up Mona and just ran off.
It was fucking hillarious.

She didn't think it was so funny.
This is, though.
Mona you fucktard you're funny like shite, you know that?
(Literally.)

The Italians are so charming.
Honestly, they are.
I'm not big on the accent, but when they force you into posing for their cameras by saying "Hey Byootifilla girrlss! Bella! Come take-a pik-churr! Bella!"
You find yourself asking: "Beautiful!? Really??.."
Instead of the customary kick in the balls and "Get the fuck off me, pervert! Officer! This man is harassing me!"
I don't know how they do it. Magic is my guess.

When it comes to accents, the French win hands down.
They can make the most idiotic- even disgusting- statements sound sexy.
"My sokss are' wett."
Yummy. I think I'm in love.

So there you have it.
The Italians may have won the World Cup, but the French have sexier accents.

If I ruled the world, it would so be cool.
I just felt like saying that.

ubergirl

Kulluna Lilwa6an

Heat Wave...Wooooo

I'm not in London anymore.
I'm in some obscure little European village with my family. It is absolutely scorching, people.
You know something's wrong when the Khaleejis are fanning themselves.

London was fun.
Except for the hordes of Khaleeji boys who have nothing better to do than bother me.
More about that later.
As in in the next post.

I carried a notebook with me everywhere, and that is where I vented out all of my frustrations. Guess who's getting an exclusive look at what's inside of this little notebook of mine?

Yes you, dumbass!
Joke! Wallah I love you all! Not ALL... Just a whole bunch of you! Anyway, on with the rants!:



What idiot made the Saudi ID card all in Arabic? What is the point if you can only use it inside the Kingdom?
And no I am not about to carry my passport around with me like a fool.
And those muppets at the drug store.
Can you believe they won't sell me pain killers that say "for ages 12 and up" on the box because "I don't look 18", which I do.
Ofcourse my "ID" is useless because the only employee that can read Arabic doesn't know the date in Hijri.
It's shouldn't even be called ID.
It should be called... Umm.... Not ID.
Yeah.


Why is "when I'm back" not a polite answer to "When will you be back?"?
I don't know when exactly boredom will strike me. I don't know when I am going to decide to come home.
I can't say I'll be back at 12:43 because that would probably be a lie.
I find "when I'm back" to be not only a polite, but quite an accurate answer as well.


The superman movie sucks.
Who the fuck cast that Blue Crush chick as Lois Lane?
Dying her hair brown doesn't fool us, Hollywood!
Fuckers.



Someone needs to knock Oprah off her high-horse.
Honestly.
Before she finds another cause to put her kindness on display and show the world how rich and "charitable" she is.

Hello, Oprah?
I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT.



I know this is self-centered, but I find it incredible that all of the people in the world have their own lives, just as I do.
They all have issues and people and events to deal with.
The world doesn't revolve around me.
I am not the star of... Well... The world.
Wow.




ubergirl

London, Baby! Yeah!

Tomorrow I will hand my parents an envelope right before I board the plane.
I will ask them to open it together when they get back home.

They will be in the living room. The TV will be blaring, and it will be about 3 AM.
Inside the envelope will be an article I cut out from a newspaper this morning.
The headline will read:
"Safar almorahi8een: 8unbola maw8oota"
"Teenagers On Holiday: A Time Bomb Waiting To Go Off"

I will be halfway to London.

LOVE YOU MAMA AND BABA!
I'LL MISS YOU!

No, really.

ubergirl

Hummm...

A friend of my mother's just got back from one of those mind, body and soul cleansing trecks in the forest/desert/mountains.
The ones where they sit around and do yoga and meditate all day.

I've never been good at any of that spiritual shit.
"Focus, and store all your energy in the space between your back and your assss... Hummmm..."

Not for me.

I love the big city life.
The Pollution.
The Corruption.
The gritty grime of it all! (Gritty grime is now a phrase.)

I cannot possibly sleep on a matt thingie in the middle of middle-of-no-where India and quit speaking and spend a week "finding myself."
What does that even mean; finding yourself.

I know where I am. I'm right here, writing this post.
In fact, I know where everyone who's reading this is right now: Sitting at your computer. In your house, office, or a net cafe, reading this post.

I should start charging for this.
I'd open my house to complete strangers, they'd sit by the pool and eat icecream and I'd point at each one and "find them."
I'd make millions.

Although I have to say I'm pretty jealous of the people who are all spiritual and shit.
It supposedly allows you to be very carefree.
I guess I'll never know.

ubergirl

Now I Know Why They Think We Like It When They Chase Us!

I woke up early this morning.
Early enough to have breakfast, a meal I very rarely get to experience. It was quite pleasant.

There really is nothing one can do at 10 AM.
I was channel surfing and came upon Rotana; our MTV.

I have to say, the music wasn't all that bad.
I kind of wished I was listening to it on one of our (three) radio stations instead of watching the videos, though.

Here's why:

In almost every other video, (they're all love songs) the guy... Well... Stalks the girl.
Hides outside her house.
Follows her around.
Watches her from afar.

Frightful.

I thought of how the average Saudi boy "gets" a girl.
Car chases.
Harassament.
Stalking.


I remember how as a child I, like most children my age, was not allowed to watch violence on television, because my parents were afraid I'd copy whatever I saw in the movie.

At the time, I thought they were being silly. Surely they knew I realized TV was just pretend?
Apparently, they did not.

And apparently, it is our full grown Saudi male who does not know TV is just pretend.

And yet... I am the one who "does not have the brain capacity of a male".

Interesting.


ubergirl

I Don't Want To Die Either

A little boy pointed at a picture of my grandfather and asked me why he died.
I am the worst person in the world to have the 'death talk' with a child. Sex talk I can do, but this...
Shit!

"So that God can take him to heaven."
"Why did God want to take him to heaven?"
"Okay... Listen up. Everyone dies. We're all gonna die someday. And it was just Grandpa's time to go."
"We're all gonna die?"

What do these mothers teach their kids! Oy!

"Yes. We're aaaaallll going to die one day."
"Even me?"
"After a very long, wonderful life, yes."
"Bass ana ma ab3'a amoot... Abi ag3id hina 3indikom." (But I don't want to die... I want to stay here with all of you.)
"Okay then! You won't die sweety!"

• I ruined a perfectly cheesy Chicken Soup Moment.
• I promised a child that he would not die.
• I failed to explain that people are happier when they die. (That's what they're telling kids these days, right?)
• I promised a child that he would not die.

He's like, four. And he's now worried he'll die.

Oh, well.

ubergirl

Green Beats Orange

I love my highschool friends.

Even when we haven't seen eachother in months, we might even look different, we always pick up right where we left off.
No formalities. Just us goofing around like we did in class two or six years ago.
I love that.
We don't pretend we haven't been through everything together.
We were all (and we still are, really) very close. We're very supportive of eachother, and we jump at the chance to offer help to any one of us who needs it.
We're family.
Whenever one of us was going to the supermarket or pharmacy, she'd ask if anyone in class needed anything, and someone always did.
Because going to the supermarket to only get one thing is stupid. You might aswell wait untill you need a bunch of stuff to go.
And I love how when you say, "Dammit! I'm out of clear nail polish!" in our class, a new bottle of clear nail polish would magically appear on your desk the next day.
Highschool might have sucked, but our class made it very bearable.

Today I called to ask a bunch of the girls to come over.
This is how I know nothing has changed:

"Hey!"
Groans.
"Wake up, it's fucking 3 O'Clock."
"What do you want?"
"Come over today."
"Okay. Are you gonna go get food? From the supermarket?"
"Uuhh... Yeah?"
"Great! Since you're going, could you get me a toothbrush?"
I laugh. "Sure."
"Listen, can you make sure it's not orange?"
"Not orange? Uhh...Oh-kaay..."
"Thanks. You're a life saver."

I got her a green one.

ubergirl

P.S.Check out this blog. Isn't it adoreable? She's only ten, so be nice, kids!

R E S P E C T

When somone dies, I believe their body must be handled with respect.
Not photographed for the world to see.
I don't care who the person was, or what they did with the time they had on this earth. If everyone in the world deserves one thing, it is for their remains to be respected.
Yes, Al-Zarquawi and Saddam's sons included.
And it's not just them.
There are photographs and footage of people dead and dying everywhere.

Let's try and have some respect, people.

2-2

When it comes to soccer I don't know very much:
Goal = Good!

Not goal = Bad!

We won! = Good!

We lost! = Bad!

We tied with Tunisia.
The two worst teams in the whole World Cup... Err... Thing, battling it out.

I don't care if we "played well."
We didn't win.
Why the hell didn't we win!?

Shit!

ubergirl

These Are The Things That Annoy Me As Of Late:

People, please turn off the lights when you exit the room!
Would it kill you to save some energy?
I didn't think so.

If you tell me that you think I dress too "racy", I will tell you that it's very hot outside.
If my reply does not satisfy you, then you should ask my mother to consider relocating me from the land of eternal summer.
I swear if she does it, you will never see me again.

Mama I don't understand! Why do I have to live here!? Why should I suffer from your and dad's poor judgement in residence!?
Why, why, why??

Fine I'll stop whining.
Sorry.

Stop talking to me about your daddy's Porche/BMW/Mercedes/Rolls Royce.
I swear to God I'm not impressed.
Wallah.
No, not even a little bit.


Nope, still not impressed.


ubergirl

Down In The Streets

Last night I went out for dinner.
As I was leaving the restaurant, I noticed there was a secutiry guard positioned right outside.
I thought that was nice, they're finally taking secutrity issues seriously.

When I got in the car, a little girl ran after me and tapped on my window.

I hate that. Parents making their children beg on the streets.
Even if (for whatever reason) they're not getting donations from an official orgaization, there are many Masjids all over the city that will offer shelter and food for the needy.

It is disgusting. If you're gonna beg do it yourself, don't send your kid out to do it for you, for fuck's sake.

It was particularly saddening because I can't remember the last time I saw a child begging in the streets of Riyadh.
And I know it' not his job, but the security guard should have called the police.

Children need stability. They need responsible adults to look after them.
No matter how much that girl's parents might say they love her, I will never believe them.
How can they possibly make their little girl run around barefoot in dark alleys asking strangers for money.
She was so small, and it was so dark, that the driver almost drove away. We didn't notice her at first, and we're probably not the only ones. We could have easily ran over her.
God.

Farm animals care more about their young than these people.
It should be illegal for irresponsible individuals to have children.

ubergirl

Star Shite

There's a girl that I like to talk with occasionally. She's very smart, and I generally like asking questions, so she's a good person to be around.
The other day a friend was going out with her and I tagged along. Smart girl brought a friend too.
So I'm having this very intense discussion with Smart girl, and out of no where her friend jumps right in and says (to me),
"What's you star sign?"
I almost slapped her, I swear to God.

I give her a look. You know which one I'm talking about.
"Libra."

And I go back to talking with Smart girl.

"Libra! I never would have guessed! You sure don't act like a Libran!"

EAT SHIT AND DIE.

"And how is a Libran supposed to act?"

"I don't know... Not like you." She giggles.

1. Can't she see we're having an important discussion?
2. Doesn't she know it's rude to interrupt people?
3. What is it with people and star signs these days!?

Everyone I meet wants to know what my star sign is!

"Oh no! Don't tell me! Let me guess!"

Fucking airheads. UGH.

ubergirl

Eve Will Be Back, Because I Said So

I'm sure if you read any other Saudi blog you know Eve's blog has been blocked.

And apparently we're all gonna be blocked eventually.
I'm terribly frightened. What ever will I do if my blog is next?!

Oh, I know!
I'll start another one. And another one. And another one...

You can't shut us up, my dears!
But hey, you can try.
Knock yourselves out.


Please fill this out. It'll only take 14 seconds of your time. I've timed it.
Thanks.

ubergirl

Good News!

Read this.

Now this:

تمكنت الأجهزة الأمنية في شرطة المنطقة الشرقية في السعودية من القبض على منتحل شخصية عضو هيئة الأمر بالمعروف والنهي عن المنكر، والذي ظهر أخيراً في وضع مخل بالآداب، مع فتاة في مقطع "بلوتوث" يتم تداوله على أجهزة الجوال.
وكانت شرطة الظهران قد تلقت بلاغاً من مواطن يؤكد معرفته بالشخص الذي ظهر في المقطع، حيث تم التحري عنه والقبض عليه.
وقالت صحيفة "الوطن" السعودية الخميس 1-6-2006 إن المقبوض عليه يعمل بشركة وطنية كبرى، وعمد في الفترة الأخيرة لإطلاق لحيته، والظهور بمظهر التقي الورع بهدف التمكن من تنفيذ جريمته. وتواصل الأجهزة الأمنية البحث عن شريكه في الجريمة ذاتها والذي تولى تصوير المشهد المخل.

Bottom line: He wasn't a Muttawa. And they arrested him.
I'm very happy.

Thanks Abdulla!

ubergirl