Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
"... Don't Eat Food, 'Cause That Shit's Expensive!"
Obviously we would never know who the group responsible was. The governments of the world, not just India, would refuse to publicize their cause.
So why do this? Thrill of the kill?
I'm tired of hearing "these people are probably oppressed and had no choice.."
I am sorry, but it is unnatural to be so ready to kill.
Why doesn't everyone just calm down? Just give the world one week of peace and God-damn quiet. I would love to turn on the news and hear: "Uhh... Ladies and gentlemen, not much is going on... Soo... Uhh... How 'bout reruns of Will and Grace?"
I'm tired of worrying about the number of casualties. Everywhere.
Also, can't everything be free for that one week, too? I mean, since we're on a roll...
ubergirl87
Thursday, November 06, 2008
You Did It. He Did It. DAMN IT, WE DID IT!!!
Because in this world there is a beautiful place where a man, whose father is from Kenya and whose mother is a working-class woman, can occupy the highest office in the land.
I believe in America again.
I know Barack Obama is no demigod, but I believe that he cares about the economical crisis and the environment. He recognizes that people are dying of hunger and that it should not be happening. He has family in Kenya, for fuck's sake!
... And he won. He is the most powerful man on the planet.
We are so proud of you yanks!
ubergirl
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Reality: A Collective Hunch
Oh, also, he said women must cover their entire bodies, and only show their left eye.
This while the world is going through the worst economical crisis in modern history.
This while a bag lady (the first I have ever seen in my 21 years of life in Riyadh) rummages through garbage cans.
This while there was a man who parked his car in a tunnel, took his cock out and pissed in the street. (Yes, I saw.)
How does he keep a straight face?
ubergirl
PS. RIP Madelyn Dunham.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Once Again I Will Abuse my Position and Exploit the People Who Email Me
****: do you have a blog or something, i usually add people to whom i thought i............. ok
****: ok i found your blog, Saudi !!! OH ! ...............HAVE, A LOT OF MIXED FEELINGS :(
On what planet is that acceptable behavior? "I have a lot of mixed feelings about your country"
You know what?
If you send me an Email as peculiar as the one I received from this fellow, you're not allowed to have mixed feelings about anything. Those are reserved for well-mannered normal people.
I am sick of these racist idiots.
Go and have mixed feelings about me and my country men. I hope you drown in them. (In your mixed feelings, or in my countrymen. Both experiences are equally unpleasant and will do.)
ubergirl
Monday, September 15, 2008
Stream of Consciousness
I thought about blogging about a perverted bastard who is manipulating vulnerable women, but that's not news, is it?
So instead, I want to talk about something else. Anything else. Currently I'm not sure what I could say that would go on for more than a sentence, but I'm sure I'll come up with something. Any minute now.
I wonder why bees in Europe are big and fuzzy?
I am developing an irrational fear of cats. I think it's my other irrational fear (of rabies. Shut up. It's very dangerous, you know.) that is fueling this, more recent, fear of cats.
The weird thing is, I used to have a cat. Never bothered me.
I really need to get a flight to Jeddah but there are absolutely none and the airline people are all but shouting "AAHAAAHAA! JEDDAH? THIS WEEK? YOU'RE FUCKING JOKING. YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO CATCH A ROCKET SHIP TO THE MOON AND HAVE BONBONS UP THERE WITH... I DON'T KNOW... FUCKING BONO! HAHA NO WAAY LADY!"
And they'd say it like that, all in caps.
It's a bit of a medical emergency, you could say. So it would really be great if I could go. I guess I'm not going.
That really is unfortunate. I don't understand why the airlines don't quadruple their flights to Jeddah during Ramadhan? (People flock to Jeddah because you can only get to Mecca through there, and Ramadhan is a holy month and people often go there to pray and things.)
Some families go every Ramadhan. I don't understand why they can't pray in their houses and let people with medical emergencies get on with their lives?
Does anyone want to lend me their private jet?
ubergirl
Monday, September 01, 2008
لا تنسى أخاك ترعاه يداك لا تنسى أخاااااك لو سرقت منا الأيام قلبا معطاء بسام لن نستسلم للآلام لن نستلم لللآلام
Ramadhan kareem!! Have an exceptional month, everybody!
(And you all have my permission to turn the comments section into a Bab AlHara discussion board)
Love and peace!
ubergirl
PS. Mona got a bit carried away with the title. (I let her pick)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Do Not Worry the Wildlife
Sunday, August 10, 2008
"... Darwin Was No Ordinary Mother Fucker.."
Sunday, July 27, 2008
This is Just... Profound. (I'm Not Being Sarcastic, I Swear)
It is abstract in its wisdom.
Seriously. Think about it. There are days. There are days.
Wow.
ubergirl87
Monday, July 07, 2008
Segregation
How dramatic are the Wahhabis?
To this very second I do not understand the idea of separate areas for 'singles' (men) and 'families' (women are not officially allowed to go anywhere alone, they must be accompanied by a male guardian at all times. That law is, of course, flouted and largely ignored.)
It's a public place for God's sake. What are they afraid of? Public fornication?
I want to go out have have some damn ice cream somewhere nice and airy. Not in some cramped little room that smells like feet.
And what if I want to seduce the mens, anyway? That's my goddamn business.
What is the purpose of this segregation? They will never trick anyone into thinking that the opposite sex does not exist.
If they don't want to see any women they should stay at home and knit, or something. Ditto for the women who don't want to see any men.
I don't see why I should suffer for this sickness.
You'd think we're walking around in bikinis. They have us in head to toe black. If anyone finds Abayas seductive, they should seek psychological help immediately.
They all need to get out more. And lighten the hell up!
ubergirl
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Hmmm...
I cannot believe how shallow these women are. Barack Obama does not care about your religious views, and he certainly does not care that you choose to wear a headscarf.
It baffles me how slow some people are. And how inconsiderate. What would the Republicans do with a picture of Barack Obama addressing a bunch of women wearing hijabs? Even worse, a bunch of volunteers wearing hijabs?
Fucking sauté him, that's what.
You know, that's what I hate most about people. Fake outrage and "fighting" for non-causes. You wanna be a good Muslim? Tell the media about what's happening in Somalia. In fact, tell everyone Somalia is being mean to you because you wear a headscarf. Go crazy.
Draw some attention to people who actually need it.
I have no problem with that kind of cause. Saving lives and ending poverty.
But to go around claiming a man who is a minority himself, discriminates against you based on some bullshit excuse, is well, bullshitty. (I made that word up. Clever!)
I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing a hijab, and I certainly don't think Barack Obama sees anything wrong with it, but most of America does. So if you really care about Obama becoming president, shut your pie-hole and go sit in the back if you have to.
It won't make you no Rosa Parks either, missy.
Petty people with their petty causes. Drives me crazy. Another one for the Denmark archives (which is still goin' strong, by the way. WOHOO!)
ubergirl
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
What Do You Think?
Back to what I was saying. These crazy religious people, are they really religious? I mean, do they believe God aproves of their antics?
They do realize they just a political tool, I'm sure. So if they know this, do they still think what they're doing is what Islam asks of them?
Now bear with me, if they don't believe what they're doing is based on Islam, does this mean they don't believe in Islam?
I realize we can't generalize, but tell me what you think. I really would love to survvey them, but obviously, I can't.
This is the next best thing.
What do you think?
ubergirl
Friday, May 23, 2008
Poor Richard Quest
I know this happened ages ago, but I can't stop thinking about him. And pitying him.
Does anyone think we'll ever see him on TV again? Maybe on Larry King? A tell-all book, perhaps?
Anything?
ubergirl
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Fish Give Me a Weird Vibe Now
Sunday, May 04, 2008
New Post
Anyway.
I've been obsessed with Sheikh Muhammed bin Rashid AlMaktoum of Dubai for about a month now.
He's so nice to everyone.
And look at what he's done with Dubai.
Why can't that be us?
It's frustrating.
My mother said the other day that when she was in her teens they used to tease Emaratis and laugh at them and call them garawa (villagers) and Bedouins.
Guess who the fuck's laughing now?
And I am very, very angry.
Because they have security and good healthcare and no poverty and sexy turbans and phenomenal technology. And their own theme music!
Oh, and they have a hot piece of sheikh: Click to enlarge
We have people getting away with rape, and people living in poverty, and orphans living among cockroaches, and this:
How's that for theme music, bitches?
It is very sad when people refer to AlFaisaliyah and AlMamlaka :
As the height of technology in Saudi Arabia. And the worst part is, they brag about them.
In Dubai, I wear whatever I want and no-one has ever said or done anything to me. In Riyadh I am in my black abaya and I get verbally harassed by ill-disciplined teenage boys and Muttawas, and apparently, the law does not protect me from this harassment.
In Dubai, people drink, but I have never seen a drunk person there. In Riyadh, I found an empty bottle of liquor outside my little sister's school.
And I hate people who say "oh, but we have Islaaaaam. We practice Islam! We're much better off."
Practice Islam? Where?
Show me where we practice Islam and I will die happy.
We are a nation of contradictions, and it seems as though we are proud. Or in denial.
Pick your poison.
ubergirl
PS. Fouad AlFarhan has been released!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Life
I had never seen a dead body before.
It was a hit and run.
Cars should be banned.
ubergirl
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Hello, Children...
Saturday, April 05, 2008
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time,
I have gone a whole two days without a driver and I am deeply depressed.
We need to solve this, like, yesterday.
Am I disloyal and truly unpatriotic for wanting to just leave Saudi Arabia?
ubergirl
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Random Picture Post
Random picture I took at the book fair. It is not a coincidence that the people who happened to be there when I took the shot are all men. There were about 20 women, tops the day I went. The man in the picture overhead is a writer, Hamad Al-Jasser. They named all the aisles after famous Saudi writers. Isn't that cute? (6/3/2008)
This was taken at one of my favorite places in the world. Literally where I spent most of my childhood. (16/11/2007)
I took this while I was walking into our house. I happened to look up, and the clouds made a beautiful pattern. It's sad to think of all the other patterns I missed because I rarely take the time to go outside and look at nature and shit. (23/11/2007)
Doodles on a desk at college. I told you this was gonna be random. (28/10/2007)
Take a close look at this one...
It's a chick! I was at a traffic light when I noticed these kids playing with a baby chick. So sweet. And incredibly random. (28/11/2007)
I was looking at this police car and it didn't make me feel any safer. In fact, it made me feel uneasy. The police force in Riyadh (and the fire department) are barely trained and ill equipped to handle anything. (28/3/2007)
I took these this afternoon. I just thought they make Riyadh look pretty. (29/3/2008)
ubergirl
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Now THIS is Blasphemy!:
Anyway.
So I promised a rundown of the Q&A with the president of King Saud University, and I think I'd better deliver before I forget the juicy details.
He got a lot of questions about summer programs (which we don't have.)
Now this really pisses me off, because EVERY YEAR we are asked to sign up for the summer program at the secretary's office, and every fucking year they only get a handful of signatures, and they scratch the whole plan, because it's stupid to open the whole school for the summer just for a handful of students in every department.
And I am happy to say, for once, KSU chooses not to do something stupid.
I am beginning to think these people asking for the summer term generally enjoy complaining about things that don't necessarily bother them. Either that or they are the handful of people that sign up, and who happen to be unbelievably loud and obnoxious.
Of course the prez said they'll "look into it", which I hope is code for "Either sign your damn name or shut the fuck up. Now go sit down. Jeez."
A good question was one about the weird 12 PM rule we have at the girl's university. Basically girls cannot leave the university before 12 PM. I really have given up trying to understand this rule, (imposed on us by the Muttawas.)
Don't even try. There is not an explanation. They just like toying with us.
His answer was "we'll try and make it so that all your classes end after 12." Which, I have to admit was the only bullshit answer of the event.
You take a job as the president of our university, and I must say, you seem like a smart guy. You know this rule is complete nonsense. Isn't it your job to defend us, to at least represent us fairly and publicly oppose this rule, instead of giving in to the mutts?
There are many rules made by the Muttawas that King Saud University completely ignores. Such as the fifteen minute prayer-time break that I certainly have never gotten.
We can ignore ridiculous rules when we want to, Mr.Prez. Why the hell not this one?
One girl made a very passionate comment about how students with certain connections get things done easier, and that some teachers are mean and conceited. She raises good points, but suffice it to say I am not impressed by easy applause lines. Mr.AlOthman was outraged, of course. He does not approve of this behaviour and he assured us that it would be dealt with, and I believe him.
My favorite was a pharmaceutical student who talked about how after graduating he has to wait six months for the place where he's supposed to sign up for training to open and can't the University do something about that? He went on about other stuff, but I liked his questions most because they're real problems. Mr.Prez said he really can't do anything about that because it wasn't to do with the University... and I daydreamed a little here, I must say.
Anyway it was a good answer.
A man in a wheelchair asked why they wouldn't let him into medical school (he's doing engineering.) The gist of what the President (politely) said is that we must all pursue careers where we are guaranteed a job, and that the guy's medical condition may not allow him to go into medicine, but they will certainly allow him to be an exceptional engineer. All we need is hard work, and bla bla...
And that got me thinking. I have never seen a doctor in a wheel chair. Not even on TV.
Does anyone know more about this?
That's really all I can remember.
ubergirl
Monday, March 17, 2008
Randomness Part.. 603?
- I like the prez of our university. He's pretty cool. He adressed us all on Sunday and we got to ask questions and everything. It was great.
- Am I a complete loser for reading David Sedaris?:
- Guilty pleasure: Pride and Prejudice.
".. the most determined flirt that ever made her family ridiculous." Classic. Makes me laugh like anything. - I miss playing in the sand.
- I miss playing in the mud.
- I don't undertand the early settlers? Why did they move into the middle of the desert? I mean, it's fine now, with airconditioning and bottled water, but at the time... What the hell were they thinking? Maybe they were some weird suicide cult that wanted to die of thirst and hunger but failed miserably? It's so weird.
ubergirl
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
A Bunch of Hooey
"The 'commitittee' Anticipates Women's Day at the Janadriya."
I don't quite understand?
1. Women are not some sort of disease. Why must our arrival be anticipated and prepared for?:
"Oh my God. THE WOMEN ARE COMING!"
"Damn it, AGAIN? Go get your shots everyone... No-one is immune. We must be prepared."
Enough with the drama. Can't we just fucking show up without all the hoopla?
2. I thought this was a 'cultural event.' Why are the Muttawas involved?
WHY ARE THEY ALWAAAAAAAAAAAAYS INVOOOOOOOOOLVED?
It's the damn Janadriya. They talk about it like it's an orgy.
Trust me, it's not.
Not that I'm going.
I'll only ever go when the Muttawas are not part of the 'cultural experience.'
ubergirl
Saturday, March 01, 2008
May The Lord Have Mercy on Our Souls
And I keep getting asked to sign some e-petition to get the pictures of the prophet off wikipedia.
You want to talk about a fucking 'conspiracy against Muslims'?
How about when people are dying in the hundreds every day, all we seem to be able to focus on is a cartoonist in Denmark.
You're in on the fucking "conspiracy"!!!
You're fueling it.
ubergirl
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Muslim Garb is SEXAI.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Boreidah = LOVE
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Curiouser and Curiouser!
Huh?
I'm confused.
When someone in the family is on their death bed it is nerve racking.
Sitting at a table having dinner and the phone rings. The room goes quiet and people stare at eachother.
One person slowly gets up and walks over to the phone.
"Allah yistur."
"Na'am?"
Silence.
Everyone around inhales slowly, and then...
Sighs with relief when whoever is on the phone smiles and nods, indicating that we can go back to our meals.
No mourning.
For today.
And all I want to do is quote Sweeney Todd: "Life is for the alive, my dear!"
Yes, in song.
ubergirl
Friday, February 15, 2008
One Day...
One day, I will be absolutely, one zillion percent happy (or even relieved) to be home.
ubergirl
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Tarja Halonen
Particularly to the democrats.
A big issue here is that a woman cannot lead a country. No one says this outright, of course.
They don't want people to think they're not modern.
It's more in the tones. The body language.
When I called a friend on it a few weeks ago, she admitted that she thought women were good at some things, men at other things (like leading a country.)
Typical nonsense from an unexpected source.
People never cease to surprise me.
"What about the president of Finland?" I asked.
She is a woman, after all. I can't say I know much about her presidency, but surely she is more of a successful leader than, say, all of the Arab leaders combined? Times 92384934728394721 squared?
Also, she famously resembles my main man, Conan O'Brien, making her all the more capable of successfully running a country.
Anyway.
It angers me how brainwashed our people are. It is 2008 and our educated 20 year olds do not think a woman can run a country.
Their argument is, if we are all truly equal, then why were we created differently? Why are there male and female human beings? Because we are suited to different roles.
Uhh.... No.
We were created looking differently because life is one. big. fucking. TEST.
It is a test to see who will use those differences as a way to divide everyone, and claim superiority (and inferiority, sisters. You contribute to this too.)
That is also why there are black people and white people and Asian people and brown people. Because this is a test to see who will choose to be racist and judge people on what they look like. Or what their genitalia looks like.
And it looks like many of my countrymen are failing this test miserably.
Thay fail to see the bigger picture; that we are more alike than we are different.
That being said, I have to say I'm on the Barack Obama bandwagon.
And you'd all best follow suit.
ubergirl
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Organized Religion Makes Me Uneasy
It saddens me to think that the majority of the people I meet feel the need to seek a sheik's approval of every intimate detail of their lives. For some reason they do not trust themselves to make any kind of judgement, or they distrust their ability to research matters on their own and come to their own conclusions.
These shaikhs capitalize on every one's vulnerability, and their "fatwas" are sometimes nothing more than opinions that have no basis in Islam. And if you tell anybody this they will think you are "some sort of atheist."
I think I am "some sort of being that posses at least one working brain cell."
If you go to these forums, you will see that all of the questions are from people who have probably asked 3294834 sheiks the same question, and might very well go on to ask 32897432894 sheiks the same question, looking for the answer they want.
Very often they are horny old men who are looking for someone to justify their want of... Perverse... Things.
Like the threesome question?
السؤال: إذا كان الرجل متزوج من أكثر من زوجة ، هل يجوز أن يجتمع زوجتين ـ مثلا ـ للمداعبة في نفس الوقت ، أو أن يجامع واحدة والأخرى ترى ذلك أو يداعبها أمام الأخرى ، أو يطلب من زوجيته التعري أمامه ويمارسهم معاً ؟
الجواب : يجوز مداعبتها معاً ولكن لا يجوز تعريتهما لعدم جواز نظر كل منهم إلى عورة الأخرى.
So basically, you can do whatever you want as long as your women keep their eyes closed.
You know, so there's a sense of modesty.
These are the kinds of examples that make a mockery of religion in general.
Faith is a beautiful thing. Religion is a beautiful thing. Sacred. Glorious.
How dare these people invade it in this manner?
We should all stop giving these people a podium.
It is disgusting that while there is a humanitarian crisis in Gaza, the Moral Police are on forums and at their dinner tables preaching about how it is a disgrace that women can rent their own hotel rooms now without the permission of their male guardian.
And many many people blindly mimic this opinion, because someone "more knowledgeable in Islamic law" told them so.
Stop listening to these people. You be the judge.
Who on earth knows your faith, your religion, better than yourself?
Organized religion is what takes the soul out of believers.
Let's just put a stop to it.
ubergirl
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Let's Try and Put Things Into Perspective...
I understand why most (probably all) of Saudi Arabia is offended by this treatment.
Don't worry, I am not going to argue that we deserve it because of our evil ways.
(You know, how we enjoy blowing things up.)
I actually think we deserve it for another reason: Karma.
I'll get straight to the point: How horribly do we treat our foreign help?
I'm talking about drivers, maids, Indian construction workers...
And not only are they treated appallingly at airports, but everywhere else.
What we Saudis put them through is torture. I am shocked at how this goes... Not unnoticed; I think people certainly notice it, but what is shocking is how this is acceptable.
We have these people working outside in the July sun for hours on end, when it is illegal to have anyone working in that kind of heat.
And what they are payed is shocking. I heard that on average these people make four hundred riyals a month, that's roughly one hundred and six dollars.
And that is not all. That's probably not even the worst of it!
We have treated them this way for decades.
And we see nothing wrong with this.
And then we wonder why we are treated like the scum of the earth all over the world.
I just wonder why it took so damn long for it all to catch up to us.
I mean, we have missed a huge chance to make up for the mistreatment of our foreign help! HUGE!
I am deeply, deeply ashamed of this.
I think these workers are incredible.
Think of all the hardship they have had to endure in their lives. Compare it to being searched a bunch of times at an airport, what we are complaining of.
Now think of how many of them there are. You probably see dozens of them everyday. You pass them without so much as a smile or a nod, to show your gratitude.
And then we have gone on to play the victim, not even acknowledging what we have done to deserve mistreatment.
Shame on us.
What happened to having perspective?
Where are all the smart people?
Why aren't they on TV telling everyone that they are idiots if all they care about is how rude the customs people are at Heathrow?
After spending twenty years on this earth, I am still confused.
Why don't we all just be nice to everyone? Having empathy is really not that difficult.
ubergirl
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Free Fouad!
Get him back to his kids, for God's sake.
Freedom of speech sounds pretty darn good right about now.
ubergirl
Is It Just Me Or...
I know. He's a politician and they're icky.
He seems genuine, though.
Madri.
I guess I got a crush on Obama.
Original, I know.
I want a democracy toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I'm so jealous.
ubergirl