Saturday, September 09, 2006

I Make My Head Spin

I am such an emotional wreck these days.
Everything makes me cry now. (So leave me nice comments, you jerks.)

I didn't go to school today because I overslept.
I'm so over that place anyway. I havn't yet learned anything new there. Except for the fact that I could teach all of them a few things.
Everyone always says college is a good experience because you meet people from all walks of life and bla bla bla.
Well guess what?
I'm not impressed by people from all walks of life.
I don't really know how to adequately describe my feelings towards the human race.
I don't know whether it is that I'm not surprised by anyone anymore, or that everything and everyone absolutely shocks me.
Crazy, I know.

I want to get in touch with myself now. I really do.
Someone once told me that because we are originally Bedouins, only the desert can soothe us. Quite frankly, that might be spot on.
I know rivers and forests and hills do nothing for me. Nice scenery in general does nothing for me. Except pictures of deserts and sand dunes. I've always been drawn to them.
The last time I went to the desert I was like, ten. I saw a snake.
I almost pissed my pants I swear.
Getting in touch with yourself sounds so glamorous. Like drugs and suicide. (Joke.)

Plus, Bedouins are terribly sexy, you know.



Taqo said...

I can soo relate!
I have a "thing" for the desert as well :)
Its just so bold, and there.
No strings attached.

Ps. I'm hating college already =s

Jason said...

You should read the books I reccomended for starters. I think it could help. Give you insight into why you're "an emotional wreck" sometimes etc. What do you think?

Sweet Anger said...

college sucks big time in saudi ESPECIALLY for women, such a waste of time when you know more then the actual teachers do and yet some how u still get pathetic grades (teachers have serious ego problem) my hat goes off to the girls who actually stick to it and graduate, well done.

Anonymous said...

"When you are at the edge of all light you have ever know, and are about to step into the darkness, Faith is all about knowing one of two things will happen.

You will find something to step on, or you will be taught how to fly"

- Richard Bach

kay said...

That anonymous quote is beautiful.

I think our ancestral routes call us home. That is something I have thought about for a long time. The reason a lot of people move, because they want to return to the land their forebears called home.

k said...

Oh, and also I love sand dunes. To me they are like skiing except it is warm and you can't get hurt, beautiful.

Shy said...

Whats bothering u? Are u having trouble fiiting in or is it people in school are just getting on your nerves?

Hope things pick up better for u and u cheer up

hebah said...

i felt the same way in eighth grade, hope everything gets better for you soon.

HEROINE said...

The beach seems to give me the feeling of being at home. And no, I am not a hawaian native nor am I a fish of some sort. But now that I think of it, my mom was in southern france throughout her pregnancy when she was having me, that may explain it, but then again, it might not since your speaking of origins.

I heard that argument before, but only when it came to food, as in the healthiest for you is that which grows in your homeland, does that make sense?

Anyways, I hope u feel better soon, trust me, knowing who you are is a million times harder than knowing others, try to list down your likes and dislikes, it might surprise you, spend some time alone to reflect, and so on, again, I hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

take a quick trip the desert, now I know that's not chic, but i's good for your head.

Sewmouse said...

There are times in our lives when we need to escape from the noise and "input" of the world, and return to the peace and quiet of nature to reconnect to ourselves and to our soul and to the Divine.

Listen to your soul - see if you can arrange to go to the desert. Stay awake late, or wake early and spend time alone with the sands.

My place of inner peace is a forest with water (stream or river). I go to a specific spot whenever I feel this "need", and the quiet, the lack of "input" allows me to focus within and find strength and peace.

My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

The desert in Saudi Arabia is beautiful. It is the only place where you can truly be free.

sexy cow said...

اكره لما اكون لطيفه مره و الشخص ما يعبرني

Anonymous said...

Maybe you've got your burqa strapped on too tight? Or did the religious police confiscate your pet dog and cat?

Anonymous said...

... Was that supposeded to be funny or something anon_1? I cant tell whether you're mocking Uber because shes arab, or mocking the saudi establishment?