Saturday, November 25, 2006

If You Want My Respect, EARN IT!

I am sick and tired of middle-aged women abusing and taking advantage of me.
Just because I'm polite enough to offer you my seat, or help you with whatever you're carrying, doesn't mean you get to unleash your bitchiness on me.

A few days ago, I was at... Let's call it an event, with two of my friends.
One went to the ladies room, and I put my hand on her seat and sort of leaned on it. It was very crowded, and I felt I needed to save her seat.

So I'm talking to my other friend, and suddenly this (you guessed it) late-40-early-50-something year old woman comes over, and without even looking at me, brushes my hand aside and sits down in my friend's seat!

"Umm.. Ma3laish 5alti, ana 7ajza hatha ilma7al l9a7ibti." (Excuse me, Ma'am, this is my friend's seat. I'm saving it for her.")
"La, 7abeebti, hatha ma7alina i7na min zaman." ("No, my dear, this has been our seat for a long time.")
And she looks over to her imbecilic friend, and gives her (what she thinks is) a sly smile.
"You see this woman next to me?" I say in the loudest voice possible (without sounding like I've lost my mind.)
"Yes?" Replies my friend.
"She just stole Lulu's seat."
"She thinks she's so tough. You know, I hate how our society makes people think the older you are, the more you can boss people around. Just because she's "seen the wold" (yeah right) doesn't mean she can take out her frustrations on teenage girls. She doesn't know this, though. She think she has a right to my seat. She thinks the more she gets up there the more important she is. She thinks she is automatically respected by everyone. She doesn't know that in your 50s being an ass is being an ass. She probably thinks she's polite and civilized..."

And so on.
I don't even know what I said exactly. I just went on till she got up and found herself another seat.
I don't think I hurt her feelings, I think I annoyed her.

A few moths ago I picked up my cell phone and a (middleaged) woman shouted: "Lulwa?"
"No. Wrong number."
"What?! Who is this!??"
"Uhh... Who's this?"
"Don't ask me who I am. Let me just speak to Lulwa."
(Laughing) "Lady, you called me. I get to ask who you are. And this is not Lulwa's phone. It is my phone."
"Well I called Lulwa's phone not yours. Put her on."

This is what I have to put up with. I have to give up my seat to depressed, pushy old women (not because there isn't enough seating, but because she feels like harassing some young blood), or make Lulwas appear out of thin air for her majesty the queen of the deranged.

The middleaged should grow up.



Anonymous said...

I'm new, good post, and valid points, It's just that I went through a few of your posts and seems like you complain alot instead of actually giving ideas on how to change things, especially with some posts. Anyone and everyone CAN complain, but to an outsider like me, you don't really give reasons as to why that is, so it's all vauge. I don't mean to dog on you, I'm just saying. You're have good writing style regardless. I like ur blog.

Anonymous said...


mei said...

or make Lulwas appear out of thin air for her majesty the queen of the deranged.

Anonymous said...

Good post. The most important thing we can do with people like that is to remember them and not to be like them when we're their age. sis from the usa

Dazed & Confused said...

Tell me about it! honestly , we shouldn't bother anymore , cus even if we do all the things that are expected they'll still bitch @ us.
i once got up for a lady and she snubbed me and told me she's not old and paralyzed on another occasion i opened the door for and old lady behind me cus. that’s just something i always do and guess what i got in return
FUCK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Godfather said...

LooL Cool story.. my wife just told me that same thing happened yesterday at the gym where a 40s year old woman stole the place of a young girl on the treadmill even though the young girl told the woman who was originally on the treadmill that she is on next.

The poor girl just told the 40s lady I reserved this... she told her mafee shay esmo reserved. The girl said" sara7a dee gelat zook" 2ella w hadeek el 3ajooza enfalatat 3aleeha "ya 7aywana yali ma etrabeety ya ya ya...." LoooL

I think they should lock up the elderly and make some kind of curfew for them or somethin, lool

Sewmouse said...

Being rude when you are 50 is the same as being rude when you are 10 - unacceptable. I'm 50, I don't expect folks to go out of their way to do things for me, and in fact am surprised when they do.

Shame on that woman for taking your friend's seat - and good on you for dealing with the issue.

Just because one is older - or male - or richer - or whatever-er, should not give them the right to be rude and obnoxious to those who are not. In fact, Hammurabi's laws provided for HARSHER punishments for those who were supposedly more blessed because they should KNOW BETTER.

What kind of example does this bitch set by treating you and your friends poorly? Utterly unacceptable.

fror said...

Actually, in my experience, there were many Saudi women of all ages who have problems with civility in public. If I could collect a 100 ryals for every time a Saudi women thought they could simply cut to the front of a line in a supermarket, I would be a wealthier woman than I am now.

Read this post, but more particularly, read the comments!

July said...

Why do Saudi women attack other Saudi women so much? No wonder the guys can push you around so easily. It's divide and rule.

ren_crow said...

wow r u serious? sounds like they're almost on the same level of rudeness as saudi men

Anonymous said...

July are you fucking naive? Women are animals no matter where they are, a woman is known for her tongue because they constantly lash out on other women. Women perfect backbiting.

ubergirl87 said...

Just WHERE, may I ask, in this post do I say that I am only referring to SAUDI women? Infact, where is word 'Saudi' even mentioned in this post?
Get your facts straight. And more importantly, learn how to read, so that when you do, you would be able to go back and read my previous posts, where I bitch about men (mostly), women, children, and the elderly.
Everyone is annoying at one point.
And it's not all men who are pushing us around. It is certain individuals. Men and women.

And anon, I hope you're being sarcastic. If you are, you're not very funny.

Esra'a said...

"Well I called Lulwa's phone not yours. Put her on."

You should've said, "Lulwa's not here right now. I shoved her up my ass."

I'm from Bahrain, and the same applies. I remember helping a self-important 30-something year old with a heavy bag in the airport, and she looked at me and said, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BAG!" as if I was some dirty low-class person who's not worthy enough to touch her shitty products.

"Fine," I said. "I was just trying to help."

And you know how women from the Gulf do that "HRMPH" face, like the "URGH" face except more obnoxious, further highlighting their arrogance (and dare I say, insecurity)? She did that. It's the worst and most ill-mannered reaction ever. Who raises these people? Didn't anyone put an effort into shaping their character?

Why do Saudi women attack other Saudi women so much?
Oh come on. This is a completely valid argument - you should know this if you actually live in the area. It's not as if progression is only possible if Saudi women start kissing each other's asses and refusing to criticize the other's behavior. It's normal, everyone already does it, and so can Saudis. Can you look at the American culture and tell me in what way women are not attacked on a daily basis, especially within the mainstream media? I don't see you bitching about them attacking each other like vultures.

This is not a matter of women vs. women. I remember when the Kuwaiti elections took place, a flock of pseudo-intellectuals ran around insisting that no woman was elected because they hated each other. What?! Women compete in every society. When men do it, it's a way of life. It's human nature. But women are expected to sit around serving each other tea, not competing intellectually, economically, or otherwise.

Well guess what? Saudi women are just like anybody else, in that they are equipped with the brain cells required to criticize each other when needed. It's social commentary which they have a right to. Had this been typical gossip, she would've mentioned the woman's name, but she didn't. She merely used her as an example to a problem we really do suffer from in the Gulf.
Women are animals no matter where they are
Yes, very true. I support this idea, go buy a cage and stuff us all in!

hebah said...

That lady was just Rude. with a capital R.
She probably thinks sense she's older, you automically have to shower her with Respect.

curious george said...

tsk tsk tsk....such repressed saudi women.

Anonymous said...

Uber, not very funny? But a little funny?

Esra'a thanks for supporting that women are animals, I would get a birdcage but that'll be too cramped. I don't aim to torture.

Esra'a said...

"such repressed saudi women."

Seriously dude, how come they can even use the internet? They belong in the kitchen feeding their bearded husbands and 10 children! Oh those Saudi women. No intellect, no humor, no nothing, just contempt for each other.

"Uber, not very funny? But a little funny?"

Hysterical comedy gold, bravo.
"Esra'a thanks for supporting that women are animals, I would get a birdcage but that'll be too cramped. I don't aim to torture."
Yeah they're horrific, and too emotional for words. I'm a self-loathing woman, incapable of completing even the simplest task without fucking things up. I suggest you declare a genocide against us, in order to rid this world of its many ills. It's our fault.

No matter what you decide to do with us, however, can we please be neatly packaged? Even despite our stupidity, verbal diarrhea issue, and beastial hatred, we like to be clean.

july said...

I didn't mean to offend you Ubergirl.
I have read all your posts, I like your blog.
I only meant to say it's easy to internalise other people prejudice. It's a well know phenomena. Malcolm X wrote about how pre-civil rights movement, black parents could favour their lighter skinned children. Obviously they loved all their children but they internalised the racism of society. Or the case of the pregnant woman who really wants a boy child not a girl. I'm also trying to remember the name of that syndrome where hostages identify with the people who have kidnapped them but I can't.
I gave a little food for thought that's all.

Teshi said...

I want to suggest that not all societies are like this. Yes many women, as many men, are 'bitchy'. But this is not a problem in some places- I think the more acceptable and normal it is, the more people when faced with a situation like this will not bite their tongue (I'm sure they think it all the time), and preserve a veneer of civility. It's the same with men and sexual comments- they think them, it's just not as acceptable for them to say or act upon them in some societies.

This is turn may mean that these thoughts, if considered wrong, will be thought less often. WHich is better for everyone.

July, you are thinking of "Stockholm Syndrome."

I had a similar thought to July when I read this. I think that in a society in which people are generally less respectful of each other, and that disrespect is focused on one grou, this sense of incivility filters through the society and is especially prelavent in the groups which are less respected. I think it's easy to be rude, disrespectful or incivil when people are those things to you.

Canadians are "known" for their politeness. Does this mean Canadians are more polite than everyone else? No. It means that within the Canadian society as it exists today, it is expected all almost all levels that you will be respectful and civil and so people strive to fit in with social norms.

But yes, behind the scenes there is a lot of backbiting and such (among men and women) but it is not so obvious.

I think the best you can do to solve this problem is to be polite whenever you can.

Tipsy 'n Tantalizing said...

Despite what that woman did, which is quite inconsiderate, it does not mask the fact that you were rude. Instead of speaking TO her, you chose to speak loudly around her, utilizing the oldest trick known to public middle school saudi girls. I almost rolled my eyes.

To quote a cliche, two wrongs don't make a right. Instead of having the balls to call her out on her ill-manners to her face, you developed your own even worse manners. It might make for a funny blog, but that is all.

Before you start squaking, think about it. With that sort of class and tact, what do you think you'll be like when you're her age?.. that's right, exactly like her; if not worse.

The problem with Saudi is simple, so many people are utterly and completely lacking in class, and garishly oblivious to it.

Anonymous said...

Class? That's not the problem with Saudi, it's people who inform other on how they should act and not leaving them to think for their own. Tipsy you came off as a rude snob, not very classy.

@rabian rash said...

'Anonymous' you could at least leave a name so we're sure were speaking to the right 'anonymous' Another Saudi problem, hiding behind a facade..

As for What tipsy said, I totally agree with her... surely what uber girl was doing is exactly the same as what youre accusing tipsy of?

"the problem with Saudi, it's people who inform other on how they should act and not leaving them to think for their own"

So if thats your opinion then your criticism of tipsy should apply to uber girl who was also telling the old lady how she thought she should act, but instead of doing it politely, she did it rudely. Which is even worse than what tipsy was doing.

If you practice what you preach, in theory you agree with her view, and by labelling her as a snob you continue to use the class 'system' you appear to be criticising... hypocritical dont you think?

Anonymous said...

What happened to my comment? :(