Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Dumbledore Likes The Boys

Some girls at school make the weirdest excuses. And the teachers let this slide.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, if you keep us late to try and help us get what we're here for in the first place - you know, a piece of paper that says I'm qualified to have a career but means absolutely nothing else - my husbaaaaaaaaaaand won't like it. He wants me home by 12."

Sometimes, just the word "zoojiii" (my husbaaaaand) will do the trick.


I really don't understand how this is an excuse. It is a random fact. Like how I like the color yellow. I might as well use that as an excuse next time.

"I'm sorry I'm twenty minutes late for class, professor. It's just that my love for the color yellow distracts me sometimes and I lose track of time."
And she will have this coy smile on her face as she nods, welcoming me into class. You know, like she does with the married hos.
Yes, I said hos.
I am angry at them hos. Grrr.

There are many reasons why "I'm married" is not an excuse (apart from the obvious) infact, it actually helps to be married and in school:

1) If you are married and still in school, this would mean you probably do not have kids (or atleast kids that need a driver to take them to school), and might have your own driver and car to pick you up late in the afternoon, whereas I, who am lucky enough to have a driver, have to litterally perform a miracle every morning (and sometimes every afternoon) to get to school on time. There are four other people who need the driver, and three destinations in all. Every morning.

2) For people who do not have drivers, they have to rely on their brothers (who are probably rarely cooperative) to take them to and from school. Or, their fathers can take them. Now, at the age of 20, our fathers are not as young as my classmate's husbands probably are. It is hard for my father to drive me to or from school in this heat, on those reods, and in that traffic! Whereas these girl's husbands are probably much younger and can handle that torture.

3) If your husband does not respect your need to get an education, you should stay at home. I am now beyond saying I think men should respect their wives' need to be educated and bla bla... because quite frankly I have lost almost all hope in our men ever waking up from their deluded state of sexism superiority complexes. At this point I'm just waiting for this generation to die out and hoping the next one is any better. If you want equality in your household be fucking smart and do not marry a sexist. It is that simple. If you do not listen to me, and you go ahead and marry the bastard, you are an idiot that does not deserve an education. So stay at home and make the man some damn kabsa.

4) In my honest opinion, if you are married at the age of 18 or 19, and have a child that you need to get home to or whatever, that is your problem. I do not mean to be cruel, but having a child while you are still at school is irresponsible, and it is these girls' own burden to bear. I shouldn't have to be forced to spend seven hours at school and take a 3PM class because the (dellusional) faculty feel obligated to put all the married girls in earlier class so that they can get back to their husbands and kids earlier. I'm not saying put them in the later classes, I'm saying do not make their convenience the number one priority.

5) What on earth does your husband want with you at 12 in the afternoon? Now, this is not an actual point, but I am genuinely curious to see what answers these people can come up with.

More on this later.


Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

I'm sure the guy put a "kabsa-clause" in the verbal agreement in which he "allowed" her to study. It states that as long as her studies/work does not impact homelife in anyway (because after-all home should be her priority) and none of his requests go unheeded, then she's allowed to study. I've run into plenty of jerks like this. And besides, if women did't marry any Saudi men in "deluded state of sexism superiority complexes", the population would die off in one generation!

Sarah said...

You are so right. All your points are right on target...

Also, I too wonder what her husband would need her for at noon, especially if she has no children... Hmmmm?????

Also, I just wanted to let you know that I think your blog is awesome...

أبو سنان said...

Ah, come on. Good points, but you missed the obvious answer to your question!

It is clear that the husband, at noon, probably wants to work on the "not having any children" issue!

k said...

Hi Uber,
It's Ok to have a child while you are still at school. These things happen.

Most of your frustration seems to be caused by not having your own car or any kind of public transport that can take you to college.

Don't be to angry with other women 'cause of this. It's not their fault. It's the men. grrr...

Nuri said...

On the other hand, it's great that in your country women with families have so many advantages if they want to continue with their education, no?

Anonymous said...

what a great life to live; http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,307680,00.html I'd rather stay in school than head home at noon!!

k said...

Nuri's right, I was thinking the same thing. It's great women with children and husbands are encouraged to continue their education.

Trevelyana said...

Easy, make up a husband.. make him interesting too, tell them he has a crazy libido and 3 other wives.. oh and its your turn that day and you absolutely must be home by 12 otherwise you'll miss your turn for a whole week...

Anonymous said...

U R such ana amazing girl....thank u for writing ur wonderful opinion about that girls and about the silly reason that they are married....:P:P:P tara am not anonymous am with u everyday in college and fed up with this excuse:P:P doctoraaaaaa ana metzawjaaa zooji yb3'ani al tho'hooor:P:P:P....btw its me NouR:D

g. said...

I totally agree.

It's their problem. it's unfair of them to garn sympathy, when really, the single girls who are still living in crowded houses with an overdemand on the car, are the ones who must get sympathy.

they chose to get married, and their husbands are a concequence of their choice. if they made a bad choice, it's their problem. oh, and don't get me started on the babies >___< --i totalllly agree with you on that.

kay said...

How about updating your blog more often?

Anonymous said...

Is it true that in an Islamic society your aren't allowed to listen to music??? I just wanted to ask, sorry it is random and has nothing to do with your entry.

Anonymous said...

what a wonderful country; http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1§ion=0&article=103556&d=15&m=11&y=2007

i'm sure the Prophet would have loved it! How f'ed up can u guys get???

Anonymous said...

the beauty of our great country continues.


we are so messed up; it is time to raise up against the evil rulers who use Islam to suppress the people of our nation.

but, we don't have the balls and gutts to do it.

silbil said...

may i please say something about your point three?
do you REALLY think the women with children have always DECIDED FOR THEMSLEVES that they want to have children at the age of 18? do you really think that there is no possibility that they have been forced to have a baby and emotional blackmail and the fear of God is a valid definition of force?
isn't it commendable that they still want to educate themselves?

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to write and say you're fantastic. If it's got women like you, Saudi Arabia's future should be bright.

ubergirl87 said...

Firstly I have to say sorry I haven't been very active here.

It may not be these girls' choice to get married and have children (and this is rarely the case), but it is certainly their choice to use it as an excuse to get out of taking a later class.
I know that if I were to go to the professor and give her an excuse as to why I cannot take the later class she'd let me take the earlier one.
But I (and my classmates who have transfered to the later class) are adults. We will not resort to lies and silly excuses to get out of anything.

silbil said...

I agree Ubergirl, I am sorry I was also missing the point that these girls are/could be only maiking the excuses for convinience and NOT any pressing need actually.
p.s you must write often, you write so well

MD said...

complete rubbish the lot of it. well not all of it but most of it. true saudi men are mostly idiots true to most of it but let me tell u something...interesting fact is which is true the world over behind great men are women and sadly the women in saudi are too busy shopping and flashing their wealth and then complaining about their husbands all the time. an intelligent wife can do wonders with her life. apart from that some cases are beyond them i agree but that is because of the distorted view of islam that these men hold and the collaboration of culture and westernization that these women attempt. my advice to saudis 'get educated' 'respect your wealth' and flippin remember where u came from u arrogant pricks...sorry but its a fact.

Moody Qamar said...

Interesting post, however it is quite ego oriented.

If a girl comes from an old school family and has little choice in the matter of getting married young (even though Islam gives women the choice, families often disregard this in the name of culture), then she shouldn't be looked down upon by her classmates who have more fortunate situations.
Blaming victims and those who are abused by society, their families or their husbands doesn't make much sense, and it certainly doesn't reach the root of the problem. Don't let your personal frusterations take over your ability to feel compassion. What if you had no other choice to but to get married young or you would lose all familial suport? And what if these young women get an unplanned pregnancy? That means they shouldn't have the right to a felxible schedule to accomodate them so they can at least attempt to further their lives? I don't think so. Those with more opportunities should not look down upon those who have more struggles. I do however understand how such situations can cause stress and frusteration..peace everyone.