I Am Sorry, But This Is Hillarious!

ubergirl

"... Don't Eat Food, 'Cause That Shit's Expensive!"

I don't understand what happened in India?
Obviously we would never know who the group responsible was. The governments of the world, not just India, would refuse to publicize their cause.
So why do this? Thrill of the kill?
I'm tired of hearing "these people are probably oppressed and had no choice.."
I am sorry, but it is unnatural to be so ready to kill.
Why doesn't everyone just calm down? Just give the world one week of peace and God-damn quiet. I would love to turn on the news and hear: "Uhh... Ladies and gentlemen, not much is going on... Soo... Uhh... How 'bout reruns of Will and Grace?"
I'm tired of worrying about the number of casualties. Everywhere.
Also, can't everything be free for that one week, too? I mean, since we're on a roll...

ubergirl87

You Did It. He Did It. DAMN IT, WE DID IT!!!

Yesterday I cried and cried and cried.
Because in this world there is a beautiful place where a man, whose father is from Kenya and whose mother is a working-class woman, can occupy the highest office in the land.
I believe in America again.
I know Barack Obama is no demigod, but I believe that he cares about the economical crisis and the environment. He recognizes that people are dying of hunger and that it should not be happening. He has family in Kenya, for fuck's sake!
... And he won. He is the most powerful man on the planet.

We are so proud of you yanks!

ubergirl

Reality: A Collective Hunch

I don't know if this is true, but someone told me yesterday that the Grand Mufti, Shaikh Abulaziz AlShaikh announced yesterday that everyone who does not follow Al-Wahhab's teachings and 'reformations' is a kaffir (infidel.)
Oh, also, he said women must cover their entire bodies, and only show their left eye.

This while the world is going through the worst economical crisis in modern history.
This while a bag lady (the first I have ever seen in my 21 years of life in Riyadh) rummages through garbage cans.
This while there was a man who parked his car in a tunnel, took his cock out and pissed in the street. (Yes, I saw.)

How does he keep a straight face?

ubergirl

PS. RIP Madelyn Dunham.

All You Need is Love

Love is all you need.


uberigrl87

Once Again I Will Abuse my Position and Exploit the People Who Email Me

I was contacted by a gentleman outside of Arabia who was interested in chatting with me (about Arabia, I presumed.) Some time later, the man needed reminding as to whom I was and I told him to check his 'sent mail' folder.
****: do you have a blog or something, i usually add people to whom i thought i............. ok

7:49 AM so we have spoken, good........... so where we were ?

me: no we've never spoken

if you look in your sent mail folder

****: ok, let me

me: you'll find that you have sent me one email

7:50 AM ****: LOL, yes i found it

but that request was really nice, :)

7:51 AM me: sure

......
****: ok i found your blog, Saudi !!! OH ! ...............HAVE, A LOT OF MIXED FEELINGS :(

On what planet is that acceptable behavior? "I have a lot of mixed feelings about your country"
You know what?
If you send me an Email as peculiar as the one I received from this fellow, you're not allowed to have mixed feelings about anything. Those are reserved for well-mannered normal people.
I am sick of these racist idiots.

Go and have mixed feelings about me and my country men. I hope you drown in them. (In your mixed feelings, or in my countrymen. Both experiences are equally unpleasant and will do.)

ubergirl

Stream of Consciousness

I am sorry I've been lazy with updates, but I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit depressed and uninspired.
I thought about blogging about a perverted bastard who is manipulating vulnerable women, but that's not news, is it?
So instead, I want to talk about something else. Anything else. Currently I'm not sure what I could say that would go on for more than a sentence, but I'm sure I'll come up with something. Any minute now.
I wonder why bees in Europe are big and fuzzy?
I am developing an irrational fear of cats. I think it's my other irrational fear (of rabies. Shut up. It's very dangerous, you know.) that is fueling this, more recent, fear of cats.
The weird thing is, I used to have a cat. Never bothered me.
I really need to get a flight to Jeddah but there are absolutely none and the airline people are all but shouting "AAHAAAHAA! JEDDAH? THIS WEEK? YOU'RE FUCKING JOKING. YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO CATCH A ROCKET SHIP TO THE MOON AND HAVE BONBONS UP THERE WITH... I DON'T KNOW... FUCKING BONO! HAHA NO WAAY LADY!"
And they'd say it like that, all in caps.
It's a bit of a medical emergency, you could say. So it would really be great if I could go. I guess I'm not going.
That really is unfortunate. I don't understand why the airlines don't quadruple their flights to Jeddah during Ramadhan? (People flock to Jeddah because you can only get to Mecca through there, and Ramadhan is a holy month and people often go there to pray and things.)
Some families go every Ramadhan. I don't understand why they can't pray in their houses and let people with medical emergencies get on with their lives?
Does anyone want to lend me their private jet?

ubergirl

لا تنسى أخاك ترعاه يداك لا تنسى أخاااااك لو سرقت منا الأيام قلبا معطاء بسام لن نستسلم للآلام لن نستلم لللآلام

I am feeling festive this Ramadhan!!!!

Ramadhan kareem!! Have an exceptional month, everybody!

(And you all have my permission to turn the comments section into a Bab AlHara discussion board)

Love and peace!

ubergirl

PS. Mona got a bit carried away with the title. (I let her pick)

Do Not Worry the Wildlife

It is so ironic that the person who has always told me never to completely trust anyone ended up screwing me over unbelievably. 

How do I know if it's made me bitter?

I met the most random person a couple of days ago. Pharrell Williams!

He has the most amazing skin I have ever seen. 

He wears makeup, right? He has to. He looks like a wax figure.

Okay I've been playing around with this damn Mac and I can't figure out how to crop the photo, so you'll have to wait to see photographic evidence of the hotness that is Pharrell (I swear his complexion is unnatural.. )

A few days ago a man told me "Arabs are racists who have too much money for their own good." 

Well, that's news to me. 

I'd appreciate it if someone directed me to the people who give out the cheques for being arrogant and Arabic?

The Olympics are all over the place, and the media is hating on China like anything.

China must be so pissed. Can you imagine throwing a big party only to have your guests criticize everything you've ever done? Man I'd just kick everyone out.

And with so many skeletons in its closet, why did China even want to host the Olympics? That's just asking for trouble.

ubergirl

"... Darwin Was No Ordinary Mother Fucker.."

I love the world and all that's in it, because it's special and magical.

Today I saw a rainbow. And I fell in love with the world all over again <3

ubergirl

This is Just... Profound. (I'm Not Being Sarcastic, I Swear)

"There are days." - Nayef, aged 2.


It is abstract in its wisdom.
Seriously. Think about it. There are days. There are days.
Wow.

ubergirl87

Segregation

"For God's sake... They're only human beings! They won't devour you!" - My father, upon my hesitation to enter a room full of screaming, sweaty men marked (you guessed it): "NO WOMEN ALLOWED."


How dramatic are the Wahhabis?
To this very second I do not understand the idea of separate areas for 'singles' (men) and 'families' (women are not officially allowed to go anywhere alone, they must be accompanied by a male guardian at all times. That law is, of course, flouted and largely ignored.)

It's a public place for God's sake. What are they afraid of? Public fornication?
I want to go out have have some damn ice cream somewhere nice and airy. Not in some cramped little room that smells like feet.
And what if I want to seduce the mens, anyway? That's my goddamn business.
What is the purpose of this segregation? They will never trick anyone into thinking that the opposite sex does not exist.
If they don't want to see any women they should stay at home and knit, or something. Ditto for the women who don't want to see any men.
I don't see why I should suffer for this sickness.

You'd think we're walking around in bikinis. They have us in head to toe black. If anyone finds Abayas seductive, they should seek psychological help immediately.
They all need to get out more. And lighten the hell up!

ubergirl

Hmmm...

Take a look at this, and ignore the fact that I seem to be getting my pseudo political news off Perezhilton.com.

I cannot believe how shallow these women are. Barack Obama does not care about your religious views, and he certainly does not care that you choose to wear a headscarf.
It baffles me how slow some people are. And how inconsiderate. What would the Republicans do with a picture of Barack Obama addressing a bunch of women wearing hijabs? Even worse, a bunch of volunteers wearing hijabs?
Fucking sauté him, that's what.

You know, that's what I hate most about people. Fake outrage and "fighting" for non-causes. You wanna be a good Muslim? Tell the media about what's happening in Somalia. In fact, tell everyone Somalia is being mean to you because you wear a headscarf. Go crazy.
Draw some attention to people who actually need it.
I have no problem with that kind of cause. Saving lives and ending poverty.
But to go around claiming a man who is a minority himself, discriminates against you based on some bullshit excuse, is well, bullshitty. (I made that word up. Clever!)
I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing a hijab, and I certainly don't think Barack Obama sees anything wrong with it, but most of America does. So if you really care about Obama becoming president, shut your pie-hole and go sit in the back if you have to.
It won't make you no Rosa Parks either, missy.
Petty people with their petty causes. Drives me crazy. Another one for the Denmark archives (which is still goin' strong, by the way. WOHOO!)

ubergirl

Get Your Act Together

Backstabbing never felt this good.









ubergirl

What Do You Think?

I've been thinking, you know the crazy religious people? The ones who have joined the cult that can legally shout in the streets and harrass poor unknowing citizens? The high-up folks who announce that the Shia in Lebanon are kuffar? (Which, by the way, is my new favorite word. Kaffir. It's so dramatic and final-sounding. Sexy!)
Back to what I was saying. These crazy religious people, are they really religious? I mean, do they believe God aproves of their antics?
They do realize they just a political tool, I'm sure. So if they know this, do they still think what they're doing is what Islam asks of them?
Now bear with me, if they don't believe what they're doing is based on Islam, does this mean they don't believe in Islam?
I realize we can't generalize, but tell me what you think. I really would love to survvey them, but obviously, I can't.
This is the next best thing.
What do you think?

ubergirl

Poor Richard Quest

I feel really bad for people who lose their careers over some messed up shit that no-one should have found out about.

I know this happened ages ago, but I can't stop thinking about him. And pitying him.
Does anyone think we'll ever see him on TV again? Maybe on Larry King? A tell-all book, perhaps?

Anything?

ubergirl

Fish Give Me a Weird Vibe Now

A while ago I had a nightmare about fish in the toilet that bite your butt if you're not careful, spreading gross fish venom all through your bloodstream, slowly killing you.
I have very disturbing dreams.


Oh, and just for kicks:You're welcome!

ubergirl

New Post

Skype is like magic.

Anyway.
I've been obsessed with Sheikh Muhammed bin Rashid AlMaktoum of Dubai for about a month now.
He's so nice to everyone.
And look at what he's done with Dubai.




Why can't that be us?
It's frustrating.

My mother said the other day that when she was in her teens they used to tease Emaratis and laugh at them and call them garawa (villagers) and Bedouins.

Guess who the fuck's laughing now?


And I am very, very angry.
Because they have security and good healthcare and no poverty and sexy turbans and phenomenal technology. And their own theme music!
Oh, and they have a hot piece of sheikh: Click to enlarge

We have people getting away with rape, and people living in poverty, and orphans living among cockroaches, and this:







How's that for theme music, bitches?

It is very sad when people refer to AlFaisaliyah and AlMamlaka :


















As the height of technology in Saudi Arabia. And the worst part is, they brag about them.

In Dubai, I wear whatever I want and no-one has ever said or done anything to me. In Riyadh I am in my black abaya and I get verbally harassed by ill-disciplined teenage boys and Muttawas, and apparently, the law does not protect me from this harassment.
In Dubai, people drink, but I have never seen a drunk person there. In Riyadh, I found an empty bottle of liquor outside my little sister's school.

And I hate people who say "oh, but we have Islaaaaam. We practice Islam! We're much better off."
Practice Islam? Where?
Show me where we practice Islam and I will die happy.

We are a nation of contradictions, and it seems as though we are proud. Or in denial.
Pick your poison.

ubergirl


PS. Fouad AlFarhan has been released!

Life

I saw a dead man lying on the side of the street today. I have yet to react.

I had never seen a dead body before.

It was a hit and run.
Cars should be banned.

ubergirl

Hello, Children...

Why do men wear speedos?

Don't they know how ridiculous they look?

And most importantly, when will it END?

ubergirl