Once Again I Will Abuse my Position and Exploit the People Who Email Me

I was contacted by a gentleman outside of Arabia who was interested in chatting with me (about Arabia, I presumed.) Some time later, the man needed reminding as to whom I was and I told him to check his 'sent mail' folder.
****: do you have a blog or something, i usually add people to whom i thought i............. ok

7:49 AM so we have spoken, good........... so where we were ?

me: no we've never spoken

if you look in your sent mail folder

****: ok, let me

me: you'll find that you have sent me one email

7:50 AM ****: LOL, yes i found it

but that request was really nice, :)

7:51 AM me: sure

......
****: ok i found your blog, Saudi !!! OH ! ...............HAVE, A LOT OF MIXED FEELINGS :(

On what planet is that acceptable behavior? "I have a lot of mixed feelings about your country"
You know what?
If you send me an Email as peculiar as the one I received from this fellow, you're not allowed to have mixed feelings about anything. Those are reserved for well-mannered normal people.
I am sick of these racist idiots.

Go and have mixed feelings about me and my country men. I hope you drown in them. (In your mixed feelings, or in my countrymen. Both experiences are equally unpleasant and will do.)

ubergirl

Hmmm...

Take a look at this, and ignore the fact that I seem to be getting my pseudo political news off Perezhilton.com.

I cannot believe how shallow these women are. Barack Obama does not care about your religious views, and he certainly does not care that you choose to wear a headscarf.
It baffles me how slow some people are. And how inconsiderate. What would the Republicans do with a picture of Barack Obama addressing a bunch of women wearing hijabs? Even worse, a bunch of volunteers wearing hijabs?
Fucking sauté him, that's what.

You know, that's what I hate most about people. Fake outrage and "fighting" for non-causes. You wanna be a good Muslim? Tell the media about what's happening in Somalia. In fact, tell everyone Somalia is being mean to you because you wear a headscarf. Go crazy.
Draw some attention to people who actually need it.
I have no problem with that kind of cause. Saving lives and ending poverty.
But to go around claiming a man who is a minority himself, discriminates against you based on some bullshit excuse, is well, bullshitty. (I made that word up. Clever!)
I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing a hijab, and I certainly don't think Barack Obama sees anything wrong with it, but most of America does. So if you really care about Obama becoming president, shut your pie-hole and go sit in the back if you have to.
It won't make you no Rosa Parks either, missy.
Petty people with their petty causes. Drives me crazy. Another one for the Denmark archives (which is still goin' strong, by the way. WOHOO!)

ubergirl

Curiouser and Curiouser!

Don Imus got fired for calling people 'nappy headed hos', but Bill O'Reilly can say he doesn't want to go on 'a lynching party against Michelle Obama' and there's no outrage?

Huh?

I'm confused.

When someone in the family is on their death bed it is nerve racking.
Sitting at a table having dinner and the phone rings. The room goes quiet and people stare at eachother.
One person slowly gets up and walks over to the phone.
"Allah yistur."
"Na'am?"

Silence.

Everyone around inhales slowly, and then...

Sighs with relief when whoever is on the phone smiles and nods, indicating that we can go back to our meals.
No mourning.
For today.

And all I want to do is quote Sweeney Todd: "Life is for the alive, my dear!"
Yes, in song.


ubergirl

I Heart Simpletons

I wish some people would take themselves more seriously.
Let me explain.
Almost all the med-students I know either act really dumb, or are really dumb.
I am genuinely worried about the standard of doctors that are going to be around in 10-20 years.
This is how a conversation with a friend of mine who is in her second year of medical school went:
"I, like, saw you from across the room, and I thought it was you and then I, like, said to myself "it can't be her!" And then so and so told me it was you and so I, like, came by to say hi, like."
"Hi!"
"…Min jid min jid t3'ayarti…."
"Yeah. People generally continue to grow even after the age of ten."
"… Aham shay…"
I wanted to slap her.
This person will be treating our children when she graduates. She will be called a Doctor. They'll give her a stethoscope and everything.

Even if this is the way she normally talks – and I seriously doubt it
- she and all the people who talk and act like this, need to take
themselves more seriously.
I'm not saying we should all sit around quoting Freud. I am saying
that when you reach a certain age, you must conduct yourself
accordingly.
Words like 'min jid' and 'aham shay' are teenybopper zombie words. They mean absolutely nothing. They're filler words. People say them when they have nothing else to say, but still want to create some sort of noise using their mouth. Many people have nothing to say but wish to make sounds very often.
Don't you think that at 19 or 20 years old, one should find other –
more expressive – words to use?

And it's not just how these people talk. It's what they say, how they act. Just everything about them screams 'halfwit'. And what's sad is that most of them probably aren't halfwits. They just act like this because they think it's cool to be stupid.
The bright side if this is, it's these guys that make everyone else look good.


ubergirl

If You Want My Respect, EARN IT!

I am sick and tired of middle-aged women abusing and taking advantage of me.
Just because I'm polite enough to offer you my seat, or help you with whatever you're carrying, doesn't mean you get to unleash your bitchiness on me.

A few days ago, I was at... Let's call it an event, with two of my friends.
One went to the ladies room, and I put my hand on her seat and sort of leaned on it. It was very crowded, and I felt I needed to save her seat.

So I'm talking to my other friend, and suddenly this (you guessed it) late-40-early-50-something year old woman comes over, and without even looking at me, brushes my hand aside and sits down in my friend's seat!

"Umm.. Ma3laish 5alti, ana 7ajza hatha ilma7al l9a7ibti." (Excuse me, Ma'am, this is my friend's seat. I'm saving it for her.")
"La, 7abeebti, hatha ma7alina i7na min zaman." ("No, my dear, this has been our seat for a long time.")
And she looks over to her imbecilic friend, and gives her (what she thinks is) a sly smile.
"You see this woman next to me?" I say in the loudest voice possible (without sounding like I've lost my mind.)
"Yes?" Replies my friend.
"She just stole Lulu's seat."
"Bitch!"
"She thinks she's so tough. You know, I hate how our society makes people think the older you are, the more you can boss people around. Just because she's "seen the wold" (yeah right) doesn't mean she can take out her frustrations on teenage girls. She doesn't know this, though. She think she has a right to my seat. She thinks the more she gets up there the more important she is. She thinks she is automatically respected by everyone. She doesn't know that in your 50s being an ass is being an ass. She probably thinks she's polite and civilized..."

And so on.
I don't even know what I said exactly. I just went on till she got up and found herself another seat.
I don't think I hurt her feelings, I think I annoyed her.


A few moths ago I picked up my cell phone and a (middleaged) woman shouted: "Lulwa?"
"No. Wrong number."
"What?! Who is this!??"
"Uhh... Who's this?"
"Don't ask me who I am. Let me just speak to Lulwa."
(Laughing) "Lady, you called me. I get to ask who you are. And this is not Lulwa's phone. It is my phone."
"Well I called Lulwa's phone not yours. Put her on."



This is what I have to put up with. I have to give up my seat to depressed, pushy old women (not because there isn't enough seating, but because she feels like harassing some young blood), or make Lulwas appear out of thin air for her majesty the queen of the deranged.

The middleaged should grow up.

ubergirl87

All Of A Sudden It's Cold and Rainy.

I really have nothing to say, other than my toe has almost completely healed.

And school is so depressing. I hate people who think they're smarter than me. Because even if they were, (and they're not, trust me) they shouldn't be bragging.
And anyway, smart people as a rule don't brag about their brain power. So even you are smart, bragging about it automatically makes you stupid.
So there.

ubergirl

My Brain Says:

Life really does imitate art. I cannot count how many times I have been reminded of my own experiences while reading a book or a play.
Greek Tragedies included.
Life can be so surreal.


Who else thinks the adoption of baby David is eerily reminiscent of modern slavery?
I'll admit I don't know many of the details that concern this particular case, but it looks to me that the adoption process was fast-tracked. God knows it takes an eternity to round up adoption papers anywhere in the world, let alone a country where running water is unheard of.
It is being called a legitimate adoption. I say she bought the child.


Who the hell came up with the concept of examinations? They should be tarred an featherd. And then urinated on.
I have no problems understading why med students should be examined. I completely understand why they need to memorize the intricacies of complex.... Err... Procedures.... And things. Yeah.
I just don't understand why it is necessary for me to.
I assure you, force-feeding me (or any other human being) information about communism is not going to save lives.
If ever the need for the information I have studied arises, I could always look it up.
I'm supposed to be studying for a test. Can you tell?



In other news, my toe is healing nicely.
And I'm still not getting any free candy, dammit.


ubergirl

The Media Just HAS To Ruin The Image Of Everything, Doesn't It?

There is this commercial where some girl falls asleep on a white couch and then wakes up worried she... Ahem... Made a mess.
Then she remembers she wearing X brand of feminine towel.

There is another magazine add where a tampon or towel is compared to a baby's diaper.



Who else thinks men came up with these ad campaigns?

Who else thinks they're beastly?

Alright now, show of hands, who here thinks the guys who came up with these add campaigns are somehow related to the cretins who design bras?
(Although, they're not entirely at fault. What simpleton hires a man to design women's underwear? Honestly.)
Anyway, back to toiletries.

What happened to the nicer ads?



Wait a minute, there's no such thing as the nicer ads.

They're all crap.

There's the diaper ones, the "brand X is more absorbant than brand Y... We even poured blue slime over them to prove it!", the "cotton-y feel" bull crap, the one where she's not comfortable bending over in yoga, and-
Who the hell cares.

I'll tell you what these companies should do, and I'm quoting a good friend:
"Absolutely nothing. We know to buy tampons and towels without hearing it on the damn TV. Like with comdoms and tissue-paper."

It's not that I think anyone should be ashamed of their period.
Periods are (hypothetically) beautiful.
I just think the way they're portrayed on TV is disgusting:

Woman: "Go away, perverted co-worker."
Perverted co-worker: "Fuck you, you bitch! What are you, PMSing?"

Someone shoot him.
Comedy my ass.


"نزول الدوره شيء جميل..رائع"

-أبله كوثر


ubergirl

Animal Crackers In My Soup...

I was sitting with a group of girls who were basically forcing their presence upon me.
It was okay untill they started talking about how much they spend on Chanel in Paris every year.
It became some sort of competition. Who spent the most money and where.

I'm sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Why do they think how much money their daddy makes/inherited is something to show off about? There are about 289738947209837249 people all around the world who can afford a Gucci key chain and a trip to Geneva.
It's not very special, I promise you.

I have a better idea for a competition: Who can burn their money the fastest.
Or who can eat a whole fried pink hippo in under three minutes.

I know what you're saying; 'Ubergirl, we do not mean to question your awesome brain power, but is there such a thing as a pink hippo?'

Yes.

My point is, saying you bought a Chanel bag is as pointless as pink hippo eating contests (which don't exist, because obviously pink hippos are an endangered species.)


I think I'm allegic to people.

ubergirl

PS. Wish me a happy birthday, everyone!

Saudi Television Is Becoming Controversial. Finally.

Am I the only one who is happy our social problems have been put on "display for the world to see" on Tash-ma-tash? ( a Saudi Ramadhan TV show)

When will we understand that nobody cares about our moronic social problems?
People think they're funny. Franky, if I didn't have to deal with them on a daily basis, I'd think they're fuckin' hillarious!
I'm talking about the Hay'a, the sexism, and the tribal hang-ups.

No, I don't think I'm being un-patriotic by enjoying this "embarrassment." I think everyone else is being un-patriotic by continuing to practice or support the afore mentioned issues. I don't usually know how most people think, but isn't being sexist and thinking you're better than everyone because your great-great-great (x 298) grandfather belonged to some tribe considered the true embarrassment to your country?

And no, I don't think talking about our problems makes them worse. Sure, on Tash, they're mostly making fun, but atleast they're getting people talking! After that one episode we talked about the tribal issues at the dinner table! We all got to express our outrage at what's hapening! It was glorious!
Only when we communicate will we begin to resolve our issues.

This year Tash has exceeded my expectations.
Sure, I didn't expect much in the first place, and they didn't really deliver anything spectacular, but I am grateful to them for bringing up important issues.
I only hope they're not put off by negative feedback.


ubergirl

Green Is Also The Color Of Snot, You Know.

I tried to ignore it. I really did.

This obnoxius "patriotism" is getting on my nerves.
The national day was last week, for God's sake! Why are people still "celebrating"?
Don't get me wrong, I am all for freedom of... Expression, if you want to call it that. I don't care if you want to wear green, red, blue or walk around naked to celebrate your country. Just don't nag me to join in the fun.
And do not pollute the stratosphere with your sickening rendition of a world cup song.
Believe it or not, wearing your flag on a t-shirt and singing does not make you a good citizen. And I'm afraid it doesn't even make you look like a good citizen.
Here's what does:
When your fellow Saudi is forced to divorce his wife because he is not "tribal", you do anything you can to help. You openly express your dismay, atleast.
Not agree with the judge.
Not think "how could she marry a non-tribal man, anyway?!"

I cannot begin to express how revolted I am by this story, and people's reactions to it.
How do people live with this much ignorance? Seriously?


ubergirl

Ramadhan Kareem!

Sometimes I wish I were American.
Because if I were, I'd just sue the hell out of everyone who annoys me (for emotional distress) and be done with it.
I'd be very rich and happy.
And they'd deserve loosing all their money because if you bother me then you're a shit eating shit head.
Who eats their own shit.
And everyone knows shit eating shit heads who eat their own shit don't need any money.
So I'd be doing everyone a favour by sueing them for all they're worth, really.
I'm so thoughtful.


I saw the Hay'a today, for the first time since I got back from our trip.
I hate them so bad. The ones I saw today were perverted and may God never forgive them.
It is not their place to tell me what will make my God happy.
I would've slapped 'em with about 10 million zillion lawsuits if I ruled the world.
On second thought, they wouldn't exist if I ruled the world.
Don't you wish I ruled the world?
Me too.


ubergirl

A Few Of My Experiences With Arab Men, Part One

There is a group of Moroccans who make a point to shout "Habeebi!" (Darling!) whenever we pass by them. I hear it almost three times a week.
What is that about?

No, seriously?


I was having lunch with my sister today, we were both reading.
Now normally, when someone is reading, it is like they have a large 'Do Not Disturb' sign magically hanging over them, isn't it?
Not to the Arab male, apparently.
"Those men have been staring at us for the past half hour."
I look up and catch one's eye. He points at his friend who is walking over to us.
"Marhaba!" (Greetings!)
"Marhaba."
"Are you Arabic?"
I am tempted to say (in Arabic) "No, we are Vietnamese.", but decide I am not in the mood for this 60 something year old man to think I'm being cute.
"Uhh... Yes. We're Saudi."
"I knew it! I have been arguing that you are Arabic with those gentlemen over there. They think you're Italian."
"Yeah. We're not." I smile and go back to my book.
I look up and he's still there, leaning on our table.
"I am Dr.WhoGivesAShitWhatHisNameIs, from Syria."
Silence.
"And... Where in Saudi Arabia do you live."
My sister says, "The capital." with out looking up from her book.
"Ahh! We lived there for almost 20 years! From 19HowTheFuckIsThis to 19UsefulToMe?!"
"That's before we were even born."
"Hoho! Yes it is!"
"Are you girls here on vacation?"
"Yes."
"Is your family here with you?"
"Yes."
"Do you study here?"
"No."
"Where do you study?"
"Riyadh."

Why has this clown not left yet? I think two minutes later.

"Who is your father?"
"Excuse me?"
"What is the name of your father?"
I ignore him.
"Where do you live? What street?"
"Sir, you came here wanting to know whether we were Arabic, now you know. I don't see how any of your other questions are relevant."
He starts blubbering about how he didn't want to cause us any 'inconvenience.'
Well, he has.
And no, curiosity doesn't justify any of his questions. I was polite enough to answer a few, but he is still one of the most annoying people I have ever come across.


Lastly is a little Saudi boy (the ones who have green mustaches) that follows us everywhere and knows exactly where we are at all times.
Without anyone even paying him.
He is usually seen with his gang of teenage boys, making a fool of himself.
All very exciting, I assure you.

ubergirl

Oh, and happy birthday LuLu!

Star Shite

There's a girl that I like to talk with occasionally. She's very smart, and I generally like asking questions, so she's a good person to be around.
The other day a friend was going out with her and I tagged along. Smart girl brought a friend too.
So I'm having this very intense discussion with Smart girl, and out of no where her friend jumps right in and says (to me),
"What's you star sign?"
I almost slapped her, I swear to God.

I give her a look. You know which one I'm talking about.
"Libra."

And I go back to talking with Smart girl.

"Libra! I never would have guessed! You sure don't act like a Libran!"

EAT SHIT AND DIE.

"And how is a Libran supposed to act?"

"I don't know... Not like you." She giggles.

1. Can't she see we're having an important discussion?
2. Doesn't she know it's rude to interrupt people?
3. What is it with people and star signs these days!?

Everyone I meet wants to know what my star sign is!

"Oh no! Don't tell me! Let me guess!"

Fucking airheads. UGH.

ubergirl

Eve Will Be Back, Because I Said So

I'm sure if you read any other Saudi blog you know Eve's blog has been blocked.

And apparently we're all gonna be blocked eventually.
I'm terribly frightened. What ever will I do if my blog is next?!

Oh, I know!
I'll start another one. And another one. And another one...

You can't shut us up, my dears!
But hey, you can try.
Knock yourselves out.


Please fill this out. It'll only take 14 seconds of your time. I've timed it.
Thanks.

ubergirl

I'm Warning You, This Is Ugly

"Today I'd like to talk about the issue of Saudi Arabian women driving cars."

God.

"All the liberals want women to drive here. But I don't think it would be right. Think of all the car accidents they'll cause! And a woman can't possibly drive her car alone. She'd have to be accompanied by her brother or something. And what man would stand to be driven around by a woman? I mean.. It's not right. And anyway.. A recent survey shows that only 32% of women actually want to drive."

"And who conducted this survey?"

"Oh, I did! Think about it... We'd have to have policewomen. How will that work!?"
She laughs.

I didn't argue because I don't have the time nor energy.
And because I knew it would be fruitless.
Some people are just idiots, and no matter how hard you try to knock some common sense into their heads, you fail.

الله يعظم أجرنا

(Do you know how long it took me to type that in Arabic?)

ubergirl

Let's Just Change The Name To Sexist Arabia.

I remember back in highschool we were in Biology class, and a girl asked who's "fault" it was when a woman gives birth to a girl.
I turned to her and said "Honey, you might have been a "fault", but I am definitely not."

A few years before that I was at a dinner party and one woman was pregnant. Another woman asked whether it was a boy or a girl, and the mother-to-be said it was a girl.
The woman started consoling her. "Don't worry!", she said, "You'll get a boy next time!"

These people infuriate me! And there are millions of them! Millions!

So what do we do? I am tired of arguing.

ubergirl

Boys, Boys, Boys!

Please, gentlemen, when you want to flirt would you mind looking a little more.. Err.. Put together? (Shaving before hand would be nice.)
And lets keep the car chases between noon and 8 PM, please.

Also, one thing I and every female in existence wants to know is; Why do Arab men promise you the world when all they want is a little fun?
Why declare their ever-lasting love when they've only known you for .392 seconds?
Why the marriage proposals when all they want is to mess around?
After all, it is pathetic.

All you guys out there; did it ever occur to you that maybe we want some fun too?

Think about it.

Now stop lying, for fuck's sake.


Oh, and if I don't take your number the first time, it's unlikely I'll take it the 4875356th time around.


ubergirl