Friday, September 28, 2007

We Don't Have Gay People in Saudi Arabia Either, By The Way...

Things that annoy me:

1. People who stand around and hold long conversations in cramped hallways and doorways.
SHUT. THE HELL. UP. AND MOVE!
Or one day, I will poke you in the eye.

2. Nimr Bin 3Adwan. Did he, or did he not, shoot his wife? Make up your damn minds, historians.

3. Khalid Hossieni. What a cheese ball.
The Kite Runner is mediocre at best. All this guy does is give you a character that is all-good, and then suddenly he has him murdered, and there you are, crying, thinking you're reading a 'touching' story, when really he is only toying with your emotions and making you cry to fool you into thinking his book is good.
I don't understand what the deal is with this overrated crap people call literature.
I am completely against literary snobbery, and I literally will read anything, but if you're gonna over-hype something, atleast make it good.

4. People (*cough*al3awa6'i*cough*) who have a whole hour of television air-time, and instead of directing fellow Muslims' gazes towards the less fortunate, (which is, you know, the whole point of fasting..) they spend their hour whining about homosexuality.
There have always been, and there will always be homosexuals on this earth. Get over it.
I don't understand how these people can bear to live with themselves.
You have an hour on television where you can talk to people about whatever you want, and you get people who will trust, and even blindly follow, your advice. Can you imagine having that sort of power?
I mean, this is a huge responsibility. And apparently these people have no sense of its gravity.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think Allah will punish us for not exterminating the faggotry. I think God will punish the people who get an hour of television to address the richest Muslims in the world and waste it on hating the gays, when there are people in Somalia who have nothing to break their fast.
There are people in Saudi Arabia who have nothing to break their fast! And instead of helping them, we waste our money on shopping for green articles of clothing to wear on the national day.
You know, to celebrate our love for our country.
Love for our country my a**. (It's Ramadan and I will not swear <3.)


Give to the poor. They're f***ing starving.

ubergirl

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Ramadan Kareem!

I really wanted this to be a happy Ramadan post.
I really did.

But somehow, my fellow Muslims have found a way to make me angry. Again.

First of all I need to announce to the world (and not for the first time,) that I love the Shea.
I am outraged at how some Sunnis treat them.

There are rumours that the Shea think they can get to heaven by killing a Sunni, and that they only befriend Sunnis to "convert" them..
These rumours are false.
I know a few Shiite girls, and they are quite pleasant at worst.
In fact, when we are assigned group work in class, I try very hard to make sure I work with only Shiite girls.
They are incredibly dedicated, they take their work seriously, they work hard and they are always on time. In addition to them being polite, and an absolute joy to be around.
Many of the Sunni girls I have worked with turned out to be the exact opposite.
What is strange is that the Sunni girls feel superior to the Shea.
Baffling.

And now, I think, here comes Ramadan. A month when all of the Muslims in the world forget about their petty differences and focus on how the hungry and the poor suffer.
We will all unite, be respectful of each other, and for this one holy month, try to pretend to be nice.

But who needs nice?
Being rude and disrespectful is much more bad ass.

Apparently there is a Kuwaiti show that will air in Ramadan, the month of peace, that criticizes the Shea.

I start to type something to follow the previous sentence, but I keep erasing it.
I am so livid, I cannot put it into words.


I love the Shea. I love all Muslims.
In fact, I love all human beings.
No one is superior to anyone else.
I just wish we could all compromise and stop killing each other.
You think I am being naive.
Fine, I'll give you that.

But just for this month, people, be nice. To everyone!:
The annoying neighbors whose guests double park in front of your car.
The cleaning lady at school (a smile and a thank you would suffice, you have no idea how rarely these people get them.)
Your family.
Your pets.
And last but not least, let us not forget the people whom Ramadan was meant to remind us of: The needy.

Try being nice, just for Ramadan. See how it changes you, and when it does, maybe then we can call a truce with our Shea brothers and sisters.

And it will be totally sexy.

ubergirl

P.S. If you write anything hateful about the Shea in the comments section, I will delete it.
I will not tolerate hatefulness in Ramadan.

Monday, September 03, 2007

And We're Back

I have recently begun keeping a promise I made to myself a very long time ago. I told myself I would always be completely honest with everyone.
Not because I wanted to better myself, or anything. Keeping up with the list of what lie you told who is exhausting work.

Anyway, honest answers is what I must always give, even when asked about something that I have very different opinions on than most of the "moral" majority.

And you know what?
I hate when people give me looks like they think I'm either out of my mind, or on the "kuffar's" side.
I hate when I am treated or spoken to like some kind of closeted atheist or something. I hate it.

I think most people who adhere to what is commonly called "Islam" (and what I openly call "farce") are either very naive, or just plain stupid. They listen to what this sheikh said about so and so, and what that sheikh thinks about such and such, without ever thinking that maybe they should form their own opinion on the matter.
I think people rely far too much on others some unknown entity (certainly not God) deemed knowledgeable, without ever questioning or thinking for themselves. I have said this 4897532097 times (okay, maybe four times): I think we have been blessed with the ability to think for a reason, and that reason is not to blindly follow some body else's instruction on religion.

It baffles me how I am considered lacking real Iman, when it is I who refuses to hand over my faith to a random "sheikh" by mimicking his opinions on everything.

So yeah, I think people who blindly follow these sheikhs are either naive or stupid, but I do not make them feel inferior. I don't look at them like they have some sort of disease. I am polite, and I answer all of their questions without ever criticizing their choices or saying anything mean.

I just don't understand why they think I don't deserve the same courtesy.

ubergirl

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Summer... Lovin'?

Anyway.
I'm on vacation. No internet access. A surprisingly good thing.
I hope you're all happy!
Have a great summer!

ubergirl

PS. Deathly Hallows. Discuss.

PPS/PSS (I forget). I loved it. Also, spoilers in the comment section! You have been warned!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

An Open Letter To The Fanatics

Fellow Muslims,

Leave. Salman. Rushdie. Alone.

Why do you people care that his book is blasphemous?
He doesn't like AlRasool.
..So?
He is entitled to his own opinion!

What really bothers me, is those of you who are annoyed with how Arabs and Muslims are always the bad guys in movies, but support those who want Salman Rushdi executed!

Why?

May I remind everyone, (or inform them), that according to Islam, if you are born Muslim, and decide to, well, not be a Muslim anymore, you should not be executed. Only if you are Muslim by choice, can you be punished for changing your religion.
So calling for his execution is sheer fanaticism and blind rage.

May I also remind those who still think it is right for Muslims to be marching for his death and issuing fatwas demanding it, that Somalia is still the most poverty-stricken country in the world.

Instead of us pulling together to stop our Somali brothers and sisters from dying of hunger, we all choose to focus on a man whom we wish to murder, therfore shifting more people's attention to him and helping him sell more and more books.

What, do you people like death in general?

All this really does show your devotion to AlRasool and his people. Shouting in the streets and declaring your hatred for Salman Rushdie at the dinner table.
Really.

You disgust me.

ubergirl


By the way, meet seven year old Mohamed:



He lives in Somalia.
In 2006, he spent two months at a clinic run by the French relief agency Doctors Without Borders. He was treated by a British doctor.
It's good that the French have time to waste on the poor, seeing as we have more important matters to deal with like hiring hitmen for Salman Rushdie and others who we believe are hell-bound.

Friday, June 15, 2007

WHY IN THE WORLD ISN'T THE MINISTRY OF HEALTH ALL OVER THIS!?

Who the fucking hell runs that fucking shit hole?
That's what I fucking want to know.

It all started when my father told me to watch out for weird looking ants, because he read in the paper that they found poisonous ones here in Riyadh. A breed of poisonous black ants that almost killed a woman.
That's all the article said.
I asked him if there was someone from the health ministry I could call for more inforamtion, he said "not that I know of."
I asked a million times if there was more detail in the article, he said no.
It is shoking to me that the Ministry of Health did not issue a statement, atleast describing the ant, or telling us it's name.

I googled and this is what I found on a message board:

حذر الأستاذ الدكتور محمد بن صالح الخليفة عضو هيئة التدريس بقسم علم الحيوان في كلية العلوم بجامعة الملك سعود من لسعة النمل الأسود (السمسوم) والتي قد تؤدي إلى موت الشخص لما تحتويه من مواد ذات آثار سامة ومسببة للحساسية.

وقال: تعتبر من أكثر المركبات تعقيداً من ناحية تركيبة الكيميائي والذي لا زال يحتاج كثيراً من البحث والتقصي مضيفاً إلى ان دخولها إلى أراضي المملكة حديثاً نسبياً حيث تم تسجيلها وجمعها من مناطق عدة بما في ذلك المنطقة الشرقية ومنطقة الرياض...

تم تسجيل حالات وفاة في دولة الإمارات العربية المتحدة ودولة قطر وربماحدث ذلك في شرق المملكة العربية السعودية وسجلت هذه الحشرة في دولة الإمارات من ضمن الحشرات الخطرة على الصحة (Health Hazard) والذي يجب مكافحتها والتنبيه عليها...

The author of the post had some very delightful insights as well:
...
المهم لا نقوم بعمليات إبادة وقتل ونظلم لكن نحذر ونخاف على الصغار في البيوت لا تلسع واحد منهم ويفطس,

I love this guy.
He goes on and on about how he's worried about the ants, and he talks about young humans like their death would be nothing more than unfortunate.
"Ant got another one. Fa6as. Oh, well. 'Least we got five extras!"

I don't want a big deal made out of this, I just want media coverage and a statement from the Minstry.
Before the fucking ants get us and there's no-one left to warn.

Tell all your loved ones. Spread the news.
Once again, ubergirl saves millions of lives from otherwise inevitable doom...

I'm getting my news from a message board. Fucking unbeleivable, these people are.

ubergirl

P.S. There's a new post under this one.
Scroll down a bit.
There it is.

A Perfect Chance to Clear Something Up..

There was a terrible accident where a girl died on a Jet-ski in the middle of the sea with her (supposed) boyfriend in Jeddah. Can anyone living there confirm this?

Anyway, this tragedy was the subject of a very emotional discussion over dinner on Wednesday.
The attitude of most of the girls at the table was:
"My God. What a horrible death. In a bathing suit. With her lover. Her poor father! They say he thought she was at school the whole time! Had no idea about her relatioship with this boy..."

Understandable, expected reactions.

And then I said:


What if she never missed a prayer?

What if they were in love, and planning to marry? What if they never slept together?

What if she were the kindest human being that ever lived?
And wouldn't the pain of her injuries have given her ajr and erased her 'sin'?


In real life, I am known to be overly sentimental. Yeah.

Everyone then realized, we know nothing about this girl.


And even if wedid know everything, can we fairly judge her? Are we capable of figuring out who goes to heaven and who goes to hell? (I'm talking to my fellow judgemental Saudis and Muslims.)
Can we honestly say what is a good way to die, and what isn't?

This is my point.
Here is when we shouldn't question or think about anything. Not with ahkam that don't sound right. Not with fatawa! Those we have a right to question.
This is where we shut the fuck up.

Speculation about people's lives and outcome is unproductive and damaging to your faith.

It's in Allah's hands.


ubergirl

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Onwards and Upwards!

I had a final exam this morning and when I read the questions I just didn't feel like being examined.

Examination is beneath me. It isn't... I don't know.. Pragmatic.

It's not that I didn't know the answers, I just didn't want to get into them. I get this feeling a lot now. I remember a time when I would strangle someone before I let them walk away unconvinced of my opinions.
Now I'm more indifferent.
It's worked for me, untill this morning.
When, you know, I stared into space for a full hour instead of answering the test.
Oh, well.

Botheration (yes, it's a real word) of the moment:

Those fucking idiots I am forced (well, choose. Whatever.) to converse with. The ones who think it's cool to call everyone "stupid Beduins."
Like they come from a fucking rainforest or something.
Very few people realize (and accept) that we are all Beduins.
It's fucking amazing if you ask me. I wouldn't want to be anything else. I love my heritage.

Anyway, they're the same idiots that think "Indian," "Sri Lankan," and "Filipino" are insults.

I told you.
Idiots.

Good luck on your finals, everyone!

ubergirl

Thursday, May 24, 2007

"Le Luxe est La Necessite Qui Commence Ou S'Arrete La Necessite"

I love Rosie O'Donell more and more everyday.
I know she has a big mouth, but you never doubt her sincerity.
She almost always says what I'm thinking, and when she doesn't, I almost always end up agreeing with her.
She is the one person that I can use to prove that America still has freedom of speech in the main stream media. The woman all but said George Bush is behind 9/11.
How is she still alive?

Today somebody who has known me for all of my life commented on how I "don't need a lot of things."
Things. Said it like this.
I was shocked. I'm always trying to be those people who don't need anything (and therefore don't want anything, and that sort of creates spiritual fulfillment. Or something.) but I thought of myself as a miserable failure at that. Ask my parents about me and my things. They think I have a problem.
And now I'm sitting at home thinking about what she said, and I'm not so shocked anymore. Now that I think of it, I haven't needed anything for a long, long time. I'm glad. It's nice.

Mona you are so dramatic. Also, appreciation is nice sometimes. I'm writing this here because I doubt that you really pay attention in real life. It's part of your charm.
It is.

Sometimes I wish I wrote my posts with half as much zest as my comments. So I'm posting a bit of comment that I really feel strongly about:

When will we as a community stop caring what people's sexual orientation is?
"It's haraaam."
I know. We all KNOW. Don't you think we've been force-fed this information enough for us TO KNOW THAT IT’S HARAAM?
I am not necessarily saying being gay is right, I'm saying it should not be something anyone cares about. There are much more important things that deserve our attention.

Life is a series of choices, we believe Allah judges us on the choices we make. Does it make any sense, then, for people (or a certain group) to gain power and FORCE others to make the choices THEY believe are right? What's the point of having a brain, of thinking, if not to make our own decisions that will affect OUR lives/afterlife?Man was not created to fit into a certain mold. Or a certain way of thinking.
We must be accepting. Loving. Compassionate. If we are not, then what separates us from rabid dogs?


And there you have it.

ubergirl

Monday, May 14, 2007

Paul Harvey, Sex, and Gay Men

I realize the Paul Harvey is an insipid idiot. Thank you for all your comments (and Emails.)
I also realized a day after I worte my last post that I really shouldn't care what Paul Harvey says. And now I don't.

When will people mature and not giggle when sex is mentioned? We are not eight anymore, you idiots.

I am infatuated with gay men.

I am.

ubergirl

Friday, May 04, 2007

Paul Harvey is The Devil

ABC’s Paul Harvey Compares ‘Women And Children’ Killed In Afghanistan To 9/11 Hijackers
Thursday May 03, 2007

Source: Think Progress
On his News and Comment radio show this morning, ABC Radio Networks host
Paul Harvey said “the media should put a stop” to labeling “women and children” killed in war as “civilians.” He said, “It was civilians, for goodness sake, who decapitated New York City.”
Dictionaries
define a civilian as “one not on active duty in the armed services or not on a police or firefighting force.” Harvey disagrees. According to him, “Since the invention of the aerial bomb five wars ago, there have been no civilians.” In other words, innocent people who are killed in war are military combatants because they are victims of a military attack.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
Paul Harvey News describes itself as “the largest one-man network in the world, consisting of over 1200 radio stations, 400 Armed Forces Network stations that broadcast around the world, and 300 newspapers.” President Bush gave Harvey the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2005.
This isn’t the first time Harvey has callously wished for more viciousness in American war fighting. In 2005, he said the United States should use nuclear weapons in Afghanistan and Iraq.
After recalling the use of atomic bombs during World War II, Harvey lamented that “we sent men with rifles into Afghanistan and Iraq and
kept our best weapons in their silos.”
He then warned of the dangers of “civiliz[ing]” ourselves too much that we won’t use weapons of mass destruction:
We didn’t come this far because we’re made of sugar candy. Once upon a time, we elbowed our way onto and across this continent by giving smallpox-infected blankets to Native Americans. That was biological warfare. And we used every other weapon we could get our hands on to grab this land from whomever.
And we grew prosperous. And yes, we greased the skids with the sweat of slaves. So it goes with most great nation-states, which — feeling guilty about their savage pasts — eventually civilize themselves out of business and wind up invaded and ultimately dominated by the lean, hungry up-and-coming who are not made of sugar candy.
Digg It!
Transcript:
And hear this please. In Western Afghanistan, where NATO forces are involved in some of the deadliest fighting since January, among the 136 dead this morning suspect Taliban. But there are others, 51 villagers, mostly women and children. Might not the news media put a stop to such pulled punches wars as this, if we would just desist from categorizing civilians. It was civilians, for goodness sake, who decapitated New York City. Since the invention of the aerial bomb five wars ago, there have been no civilians.


I don't understand how a man who says something so ignorant and cruel is not taken off the air like Don Imus was.
I really want to know this: In his mind, how is what he said justified? Does he fully understand that he said he thinks it's okay to kill innocents? And what's more, he doesn't think they're being cruel enough already. He wants to use more 'effective' erradication methods.
He flaunts the fact that the Native Americans were slaughtered and robbed of their lands.

I am shocked. And no, I don't think his point of veiw should be respected. I think he should be loathed and... Exiled, or something.
Is it fair to even call him human?

From now on, Paul Harvey is "the thing devoid of all common sense and feeling."


ubergirl

Thursday, May 03, 2007

World, I Am Not a House Plant

Today my friend told me an incredible story.

At a security check-point in the Diplomatic Quarter a man and his wife were stopped. The officer asked the usual questions, what are you here for?.. ect. Nothing out of the ordinary.

And then, he asked: "Does this belong to you?" ("hatha taba3ak?", to be more precise) indicating the man's wife.
Like she were a house plant or a sock. Or a toilet seat. Or a dirty magazine. Or a box of rice-crispies. Or a pickle jar... Hey.. Thinking up random objects is fun!

Anyway.
I'm sending this message out into the world: I refuse to be a houseplant, and by gum if I am ever treated like one there will be hell to pay.

"Hell" being a hell of a lot of screaming from my end, ofcourse.

However, if I ran the world that culprit would be arrested and forced to eat fried mud for sixty-three days.
That'd teach him.

ubergirl

PS. Thinking up random punishments is also fun, by the way.

Friday, April 20, 2007

I'm No Genius, But Something Smells Fishy...

There was an article in the paper about a man who was found decapitated in his farm in Al-Quassim. There were signs that he had been tortured. The officer who was assigned to this case was murdered the next day.
According to the article, the fact that the first dead man worked for the secret services (or whatever they call themselves) had nothing to do with his gruesome death. And according to them the second death has nothing to do with the first, and neither of the crimes have anything do to with politics.

I have one question.

How stupid does the media think we are?
I have known they take us commoners for fools forever, but this is ridiculous.
Incredibly comical in my opinion, but nevertheless frustratingly ridiculous.


ubergirl

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I'd Always Rather Stay Home and Watch The Gorgeousness That Is Prison Break. Is That Healthy?

I hate "people" who "use" quotation "marks" "extensivley." They come off "idiotic." You "know" who "I" am talking about.
You "do."

In other news, I had so much fun reading the comments on my last post. They were "amusing."
Okay I'll "stop."

Seriously. I got a couple of comments from... interesting characters. I've decided I'm going to be positive and not point out the incredible contradictions some people choose to implement in their sentences.
I hope one day it all becomes clear to them.

I am not anti-Islam. I am not anti-any religion. What people choose to believe is extremely personal. It is their relationship with their creator, or whom-ever they worship. It is not meant to be paraded around and when it is, I personally lose a lot of respect for them (the paraders).
And that is why I will never again address the subject of my personal beliefs on this blog, or anywhere else.
And neither should anyone else. (Mention my beliefs or cast me off as an "infidel", as someone lovingly implied in a comment.) It is hillarious that you think you are in any position to make that call. Like it's all up to you.
You reaaallyy are into yourself, huh?

Couldn't help it.

Back to positivity.

Some people comment for the sake of proving... something. Possibly that they can type. I'm not too sure.
Let us all revel in this gem of an opinion:

Anonymous said...
This is a typical bull of an upper middle class kid (woman) who starts to rant, and rebel against everything that her country and culture stands for. When in fact, you are not rebelling against your culture; you are rebelling against your religion. You started to take God for granted, those silly idiots from west who comments on your blog from the west trying to empower you, when in fact they are bringing you down to you eventual doom.


Wow. You got me.
I am trying to poison all the other crazy kids (women) with my Western thoughs and satanic beliefs.
Is it really that obvious?

Mona prank call this guy: 0555559191
And put his number up on AlWedd.


ubergirl

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I'm Getting Increasingly Worse at Updating, I Know

So today I was unwillingly dragged into a debate: Sexism in the kingdom.
I have to say, I am quite proud of my Saudi sisters.
Three years ago they -and I'm talking about the relatively conservative- would have always been on the Hay2a's side, for example. Not any more.
It's not a huge difference, mind you. Just really really big. To me, anyway.
I guess everyone's just gotten sick of it all.
Next will come the realization that we've all been brain-washed.
After that mass confusion. And if we're lucky, chaos and destruction. Maybe an explosion or two.

Yeeah.

I really am turning into a smug little brat.

So happy!

ubergirl

Thursday, February 22, 2007

"And Yet, Wheels Are Still Turning.."

I had been avoiding watching the news for a very long time. Until yesterday. It's just too depressing.
What is being done to stop Iraqi women being raped? Why isn't anyone being more clear about it? Their damned government is doing nothing but trying to cover things up for 'political reasons', and the Americans are not telling us where the woman is, or what 'treatment' she is undergoing.
Hasbuna Allah.
Yesterday I thought about Ali. Remember him? He lost his house, his entire family, and his arms at the beginning of the war. Whatever happened to him, I wonder.
I remember seeing a news bit about how he was doing physical therapy a little while after I heard about his story, and then about a year later I saw a book about him and his new family or something.
It didn't make me feel any better. I don't know why. It felt like.. A ruse.

Then I thought, 'how could people still think this war was about terrorism or freeing the Iraqi people?'
And then it came to me. People know it's only about oil. They just don't care about the Iraqis. They don't give a shit about others' suffering, as long as it makes them stronger and richer.

When did everyone turn into monsters?

ubergirl

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Toot Means Berries In Arabic, Kay

You know how you've always said exactly what's on your mind at exactly the right moment?
And there's this one person who scares the living shit out of you, and you never say the right thing and you always end up looking like a complete fool infront of them?
And ten seconds after they're gone everything you should have said basically floods your brain?

That person is my mother. She thinks I am a moron. And rightfully so.
Why is it that I never seem to do anything she'd ever be proud of infront of her? I know there must be some things I've done that she'd like...

Alright three things. Which isn't too bad, actually.
You don't know who I live with.

My wallet was stolen yesterday. I got reeaalllyy upset the first five minutes, and then I decided I wasn't going to let that be the cherry on top of an ubelievabley horrid day.
There are starving children in India who would give their right arms to have a stolen wallet be the biggest of their problems.

I hate when I start ending all my sentences with: "Oh who cares. We're all gonne die in the end anyway. We might as well be.... Civil."

Although it is kinda true...

ubergirl

PS. I'm fine, Kay :-) Thanks for asking.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Live And Let Live

I do not - nor do I wish to - understand this desperate need people have to police everyone in the world.
I'm not talking about your friends asking you to stop telling that joke about the Lebanese woman on weed. I'm talking about complete strangers walking up to you in the middle of where ever the hell you are and asking you to cover your hair or face.

I'm sorry, I don't see how my supreme beauty is offending you.
Unless, ofcourse, it's unforgiving glare has caused you to go completely blind, and has therefore disrupted your shopping experience. In that case I will certainly cover my offensively gorgeous face.

Get a life. Not everyone is after your husband/wife/partner.
And if you're just worried about me going to hell for not listening to you, by all means, keep worrying about me. Forget all about yourself. Because we all know you're going right to heaven. Please. You cover your face and/or force all the females in your family to.
Hello, quick pass!

Otherwise, just look away. Or better yet, if you can grasp the concept of tolerance and acceptance, apply it. Right now.
You'll thank me later.

A few days ago a virtual stranger complained to me about "girls today and their disgusting tight jeans."
I gave her a fucking piece of my mind. I will no longer tolerate this... slander!


I have just decided that purple pyjama bottoms offend me.
Please!
Don't argue with me... Arguing with a fellow muslim is what the devil is telling you to do, isn't it?

Aaannnd... Green socks with... Uhh.. Blue stripes on them are also the work of the devil.
Burn the lot of them. Or... You're automatically agreeing with the devil.

I'm on a roll.

ubergirl

PS. I mean it. "Live and let live." It will change your life.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Let's Pick On Somalia!

Yeah!



...Meanwhile, however, different reports are emerging from local residents,
talking to Somali media. They claim that the bombardment mainly hit pastoralists
gathered at a local waterhole and that a total of around 30 civilians had been
killed in the raids.
There had been no indications of Islamist militia fighters
or al Qaeda leaders being hit by the strikes, these sources claim.

The Ethiopian Prime Minister, referring to reports from his troops at the
ground, today denied the US strikes had killed civilians. On the contrary, Mr
Zenawi said those killed "may have involved very senior [Somali] Islamist court
leaders."

According to reporter Mohamed, Somalia's Islamist leaders remain holed up
in a densely wooded area near the Kenyan border...




Honestly.
I don't even know what to say.

Okay yeah I do.

Wh-
How?-
AAARGH!

Somalia? As if you need an air-raid to kill a few terrorists hiding in the woods in Somalia.


I don't care if all the terrorists in existance were having tea together in a little town in the middle of Somalia!
If one innocent human being gets murdered in the process of killing them, it would be wrong. Why do these people think life is a video game?
You don't go around shooting people because it would be more convenient or more efficient than actually doing your job and tracking down the bad guys and capturing them.
These people that you murder don't get another life! This is it! Their children don't get other parents. Their friends and families don't get other thems.
In other words: GAME OVER.
Now do you get it?
Every human being that has ever walked on the face of this earth is valuable in some way. Killing them is wrong.

If you bomb a whole block because one occupant of one house is a terrorist, you create dozens of other angry terrorists.
Because when the other occupants get back from work or school or the grocery store and find that their families and homes no longer exist...
Let's just say that they will hold a rather big grudge on you. Not to mention they will have absolutely nothing to lose...
If I were you, I'd kill myself.
Now.


The United States and Ethiopian governments are on my shit list.

ubergirl

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Grr.

I believe that anything good that you do counts only when it is a secret.
When you do something positive without anyone knowing, and when you don't feel the urge to tell anyone, know that you have done something great.

Rant commencing in:
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
One.


Alright you little shit. No body cares about your little 'acts of charity.' And while other people might pretend to, I see right through it. That whole act.
Fucking prick. I know what you're trying to hide.


ubergirl

Sunday, January 07, 2007

According To Rabindranath Tagore, These Are The Questions You Need To Ask To Truly Know Someone:

1. What do you love? Life.
2. What do you hate? Injustice.
3. What have you lost? Faith.
4. What are you aspiring to? Success.
5. What are you afraid of? Regret.
6. What do you regret? Indifference.


So, What do you love? What do you hate? What have you lost? What are you aspiring to? What are you afraid of? What do you regret?
Do some soul searching and let me know.

ubergirl

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Bang Bang

In my dreams, I kill people.
Mostly accidentally, but I don't ever feel remorse. I just think: "Oh, well..." And go on with my dream.
Sometimes I just look down and I see a gun in my hand and I fire it at whoever's infront of me. It's never anyone I know, though. Just random faceless dream people.
Also, a few weeks ago on Oprah, she was interviewing a man who (in a state of severe depression) murdered his little girls.
I sort of... Understood.
I relate to that sort of... Dream-like state. Where your reasoning is non-existant and you do things because...

Just because.


I've never done anything violent in my entire life, and I don't plan to. I think violence is vile and I'm completely against the killing of anyone, but I still sort of... Knew how it happened.

Am I making sense?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

Okay.

Listen to this.
I have been singing this song non-stop for almost three days now. It's so good! Why isn't this guy famous yet?
I heart Josh Verdes.

ubergirl

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Eleven Is The Magic Number. That's Why.

1- A 2000 riyal Abaya my ass. I'm not paying that much money for something I despise. And I want to drive already. This is ridiculous.

2- Ladies, I love you as you are. Stop pretending you're boys. It's getting old. And you're not fooling anyone. Aha, not even when we close our eyes and pretend really really hard.

3- I highly recommend short hair.

4- It has never been this cold in Riyadh.

5- Am I the olny one who has no plans for New Years eve? I'm not even looking forward to it.
Honeslty, what's the big deal? So it'll be 2007. How will that be different from 2006? Or 2005? Or 847987?

6- Is it just me, or is Saddam Hussein being considered a martyr?
I am not surprised.
And not because we Arabs are fond of violent dictators.

7- Jackass is pure comic genius.

8- HAPPY EID!

9- Organised religion is going to be the death of me. 5alaaaaaaaaaaaaaa9999999 Leave me alone.

10- If you think I'm stupid I think you're a fucking lunatic who eats his own poo. (Yes, I saw.)

11- Love makes the world go round <3


Loving it.

ubergirl

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Brains Over Brawn


Yul Kwon won survivor.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUIEFHYORGBQEYRF3GNFYM!!


YES!


Man, I'm SO HAPPY. Finally someone who deserves to win this game.


I would love to go on survivor.

Sigh.

ubergirl

Thursday, December 21, 2006

لكم دينكم و لي دين

When people talk about a muslim becoming an Atheist or whatever, generally they're sad.
Tell them it's a Saudi and all fucking hell will break loose.

I mean, it makes perfect sense to me. I understand how, among our society, this conventionalism most people call 'our' religion gets tiresome.

Except many people have not been taught that this is conventionalism and not Islam, and that is where the problem lies.
In my opinion, the most dangerous thing in the world to one's faith, is mixing it with tradition. Many of the things that we practice here are forced upon us under the guise of Islam. It's devastating. You start questioning everything you believe in, and eventually you start to lose your faith.
And no, I do not believe faith is a stupid thing to have, because I do not believe that it is 'blind faith.'
Faith is not blind. I know what I believe in, what I have faith in, and it exsists because I feel it and it is there and I know.
And it doesn't make me brain-washed, stupid, or naive.
It makes me a believer.
And I have a right to beileve just as (dare I say it) others have a right not to. Saudi or otherwise.
Oh, and I heart the Shea.
Can't we all just get along?


ubergirl

Saturday, December 16, 2006

I Was Watching AlRai,

and there was a rerun of this... talk show.
Basically it's a man who thinks he is close enough to God to critisize everyone and give them advice.
I find it all very ironic, to tell you the truth.
I mean... Islam is primarily about not recognizing false idols.
And yet there are people on television telling others how to worship their own God.
It is astounding to me.
Anyway.

So today the guy was talking about lesbians.
Imagine that. A whole one hour of television dedicated to putting down lesbians.

You know, it's hillarious how some people think lesbians in particular are... The spawn of satan or something. They're so dramatic about it.
Personally, I dont agree with gay people's lifestyles, but I try not to judge them. I don't think I do.
And I definitely don't think I'm better or worse than any gay person.
I just wish we could all live together in a castle in the sky where we ride winged unicorns and eat non-fat pink marshmallows all day.

However.
That is not going to happen in this lifetime.

So back to the guy on AlRai. A (surprise) Saudi calls in, and he start saying that girls turn gay because their friends turn them gay. "One bad apple spoils the whole bunch," is what he says.
Okay, I have a problem with that.
People are not friut. We have (hopefully) functioning brains.
If I want to become a homosexual, I will. Whether or not someone 'turns' me is not an issue.
Honestly. What idiots.
It is shocking that these people are this concerned about the rise in the number of lesbians in the Arab/Muslim world.
Somalia, a muslim country, is the most poverty stricken nation in the world.
Am I the only person ashamed that poverty still exists in this day and age?
And here we are still talking about how being gay is the "worst thing you can do to your family!"

How about wasting thousands on a television show, or a whole television station, that isn't doing anyone any good, when that money can save hundreds of families in Zimbabwe?
I know my family would be pretty fucking ashamed of that.

When will people stop trying to force everyone into their way of thinking?
How would they like it if I tapped their wives on the shoulder and told them to leave their husbands and join the lesbian band wagon because I think their husbands are complete douche bags?
It is, afterall, my opinion. And my opinion is really all that counts.

Some people are straight.
Some people are gay.
Accept it. And stop telling everyone how to think. You're giving me a headache.

ubergirl

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Wait... How The Hell Did I Manage To End Up Talking About Condoms?

I can't post from my house because blogger beta is a piece of **%%$#$$.
No swear word could possibly describe how much of a fucktard you are, blogger.

Oh! There you go, it's fucktard.


Moving on.
I believe in being polite. No matter what.
And I like to think I am polite. Most of the time.
It really shouldn't matter whether or not you're in a good mood. You should always be courteous.
So it really pisses me off when strangers look at you like you're a lunatic when you open a door for them or help them pick up something they've dropped. What the fuck is that about? I'm not gonna turn into some obsessive stalking freak if you thank me. You're not that pretty.
And then these same people expect you to just help them or do things for them. In their puny little minds, you exist to help them. It is the purpose for which you were created.
They would ask, for example "Where is building 23?"
And they would be shocked when you say you're not sure. And then, shock would turn into offence when you point out thate there is a sign infron of each building that tells you what number it is.
And what the hell are you thinking. Expecting them to thank you. Screw you for not offering to carry them to building 23. Fucking piece of shit.

Courtesy.
Apply it.


That sounded like those ads that encourage teenagers to use condoms.
Which is also good advice, children.


ubergirl

PS. I knew the title would catch your eye. Gillat 7aya.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I Heart Simpletons

I wish some people would take themselves more seriously.
Let me explain.
Almost all the med-students I know either act really dumb, or are really dumb.
I am genuinely worried about the standard of doctors that are going to be around in 10-20 years.
This is how a conversation with a friend of mine who is in her second year of medical school went:
"I, like, saw you from across the room, and I thought it was you and then I, like, said to myself "it can't be her!" And then so and so told me it was you and so I, like, came by to say hi, like."
"Hi!"
"…Min jid min jid t3'ayarti…."
"Yeah. People generally continue to grow even after the age of ten."
"… Aham shay…"
I wanted to slap her.
This person will be treating our children when she graduates. She will be called a Doctor. They'll give her a stethoscope and everything.

Even if this is the way she normally talks – and I seriously doubt it
- she and all the people who talk and act like this, need to take
themselves more seriously.
I'm not saying we should all sit around quoting Freud. I am saying
that when you reach a certain age, you must conduct yourself
accordingly.
Words like 'min jid' and 'aham shay' are teenybopper zombie words. They mean absolutely nothing. They're filler words. People say them when they have nothing else to say, but still want to create some sort of noise using their mouth. Many people have nothing to say but wish to make sounds very often.
Don't you think that at 19 or 20 years old, one should find other –
more expressive – words to use?

And it's not just how these people talk. It's what they say, how they act. Just everything about them screams 'halfwit'. And what's sad is that most of them probably aren't halfwits. They just act like this because they think it's cool to be stupid.
The bright side if this is, it's these guys that make everyone else look good.


ubergirl

Saturday, November 25, 2006

If You Want My Respect, EARN IT!

I am sick and tired of middle-aged women abusing and taking advantage of me.
Just because I'm polite enough to offer you my seat, or help you with whatever you're carrying, doesn't mean you get to unleash your bitchiness on me.

A few days ago, I was at... Let's call it an event, with two of my friends.
One went to the ladies room, and I put my hand on her seat and sort of leaned on it. It was very crowded, and I felt I needed to save her seat.

So I'm talking to my other friend, and suddenly this (you guessed it) late-40-early-50-something year old woman comes over, and without even looking at me, brushes my hand aside and sits down in my friend's seat!

"Umm.. Ma3laish 5alti, ana 7ajza hatha ilma7al l9a7ibti." (Excuse me, Ma'am, this is my friend's seat. I'm saving it for her.")
"La, 7abeebti, hatha ma7alina i7na min zaman." ("No, my dear, this has been our seat for a long time.")
And she looks over to her imbecilic friend, and gives her (what she thinks is) a sly smile.
"You see this woman next to me?" I say in the loudest voice possible (without sounding like I've lost my mind.)
"Yes?" Replies my friend.
"She just stole Lulu's seat."
"Bitch!"
"She thinks she's so tough. You know, I hate how our society makes people think the older you are, the more you can boss people around. Just because she's "seen the wold" (yeah right) doesn't mean she can take out her frustrations on teenage girls. She doesn't know this, though. She think she has a right to my seat. She thinks the more she gets up there the more important she is. She thinks she is automatically respected by everyone. She doesn't know that in your 50s being an ass is being an ass. She probably thinks she's polite and civilized..."

And so on.
I don't even know what I said exactly. I just went on till she got up and found herself another seat.
I don't think I hurt her feelings, I think I annoyed her.


A few moths ago I picked up my cell phone and a (middleaged) woman shouted: "Lulwa?"
"No. Wrong number."
"What?! Who is this!??"
"Uhh... Who's this?"
"Don't ask me who I am. Let me just speak to Lulwa."
(Laughing) "Lady, you called me. I get to ask who you are. And this is not Lulwa's phone. It is my phone."
"Well I called Lulwa's phone not yours. Put her on."



This is what I have to put up with. I have to give up my seat to depressed, pushy old women (not because there isn't enough seating, but because she feels like harassing some young blood), or make Lulwas appear out of thin air for her majesty the queen of the deranged.

The middleaged should grow up.

ubergirl87

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

All Of A Sudden It's Cold and Rainy.

I really have nothing to say, other than my toe has almost completely healed.

And school is so depressing. I hate people who think they're smarter than me. Because even if they were, (and they're not, trust me) they shouldn't be bragging.
And anyway, smart people as a rule don't brag about their brain power. So even you are smart, bragging about it automatically makes you stupid.
So there.

ubergirl

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Someone In Here Smells Nice.

Has anyone ever noticed that we don't have handicapped/disabled parking spaces here in Riyadh?
I only noticed recently because of my current temporary disability. Shut up. It hurts.
How do people with physical disabilities manage without the convenience of their parking spaces?
It just isn't right.
Isn't anyone campaigning or anything?


ubergirl

Friday, November 10, 2006

Apple are Vermin Because:

1. They claim the iPod is user-friendly, and it is marketed as such. It's so 'user friendly' that it doesn't need a proper manual. If you have any problems you can visit their damn 'user friendly' website.
The truth of the matter is, it is not at all user-friendly. It freezes on day three, and you can forget about "easily uploading all you videos!"
Unless ofcourse, you plan on purchasing all of them from the iTunes store...

2. It is overrated. And frankly, setting the shit it needs up on your computer is a pain in the ass.

3. It is overpriced.
When I first went to buy an mp3 player, I was looking for something durable, easy to use, and I wanted to be able to play videos on it (which is not going to happen anytime soon). Cost wasn't an issue, as long as it had those three things.
It doesn't.
And looking back, I think 'I payed how much!?'
I feel like a sucker. Oh, wait I am.

4. It isn't just a matter of dragging and dropping a file onto your iPod anymore. You need to "sync" it with your iPod first. All in all it takes about 30 years to do that.
Happy syncing!

5. Their website offers crap advice.
"You're done syncing... Now your iPod plays videos without audio? Tough luck.

Oh! You want a solution? Yeah, about that...

There isn't one."


Do not buy an iPod.

Apple people, I am very upset with you.

ubergirl

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sexual Harassment Part... Oh Screw It. I Lost Count.

This made me so upset.
You cannot imagine.

Firstly, I'd like to point out what it proves:
1. An Abaya and or veil will not protect you from harassment.
2. Our (yes, our. Women in many Arab countries have had similar experiences) youth is sexually frustrated to the point of insanity.
While reading I imagined a stampede of sex-crazed rabid dogs. It's like they're not even human anymore.
What does that to a person?

Go on.
Tell me the ladies were asking for their shirts to be ripped off. Tell me they probably liked it.
You know I love hearing it.


I feel as though I will never see an improvement in our society in my lifetime.
Hopelessness is not a pretty feeling.

"...If it was the action of one I would still be pretty outraged. Girls should fucking panic. Or shall we tell them oh it’s only a few guys who would possibly rip off your clothes in broad daylight, you know, it’s downtown Cairo, chill out and have a sheesha. It is this lack of outrage and a blasé normalisation of the sickness that has helped it progress unchallenged or treated for so long. "
I couldn't have said any of that better myself.
Sexual Education is the key. So are many many other things, but I'd so love it if we started with that.
There are stories of girls attacking other girls at schools and college, so it's not just a problem with boys.
I cannot imagine what the girls who were there are going through.
Allah y3awi6'hom bildunya wila5rah.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

My Brain Says:

Life really does imitate art. I cannot count how many times I have been reminded of my own experiences while reading a book or a play.
Greek Tragedies included.
Life can be so surreal.


Who else thinks the adoption of baby David is eerily reminiscent of modern slavery?
I'll admit I don't know many of the details that concern this particular case, but it looks to me that the adoption process was fast-tracked. God knows it takes an eternity to round up adoption papers anywhere in the world, let alone a country where running water is unheard of.
It is being called a legitimate adoption. I say she bought the child.


Who the hell came up with the concept of examinations? They should be tarred an featherd. And then urinated on.
I have no problems understading why med students should be examined. I completely understand why they need to memorize the intricacies of complex.... Err... Procedures.... And things. Yeah.
I just don't understand why it is necessary for me to.
I assure you, force-feeding me (or any other human being) information about communism is not going to save lives.
If ever the need for the information I have studied arises, I could always look it up.
I'm supposed to be studying for a test. Can you tell?



In other news, my toe is healing nicely.
And I'm still not getting any free candy, dammit.


ubergirl

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Hate It When...

... I am told to "calm down."
I am calm, damn you.

Yesterday someone asked me to calm down on the messenger.
That was it for me. I have to vent.
And no, I wasn't saying anything mean or even angry-sounding.
She asked (nagged, actually) me where to find something on the internet for a porject she was working on for her drama class, and I referred her to like, the bestest website ever on drama that has, like all the answers to all the questions you could ever have about drama!



Just because I am not cold and passive doesn't mean I have a short fuse.
I am passionate. Not angry.


ubergirl

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Media Just HAS To Ruin The Image Of Everything, Doesn't It?

There is this commercial where some girl falls asleep on a white couch and then wakes up worried she... Ahem... Made a mess.
Then she remembers she wearing X brand of feminine towel.

There is another magazine add where a tampon or towel is compared to a baby's diaper.



Who else thinks men came up with these ad campaigns?

Who else thinks they're beastly?

Alright now, show of hands, who here thinks the guys who came up with these add campaigns are somehow related to the cretins who design bras?
(Although, they're not entirely at fault. What simpleton hires a man to design women's underwear? Honestly.)
Anyway, back to toiletries.

What happened to the nicer ads?



Wait a minute, there's no such thing as the nicer ads.

They're all crap.

There's the diaper ones, the "brand X is more absorbant than brand Y... We even poured blue slime over them to prove it!", the "cotton-y feel" bull crap, the one where she's not comfortable bending over in yoga, and-
Who the hell cares.

I'll tell you what these companies should do, and I'm quoting a good friend:
"Absolutely nothing. We know to buy tampons and towels without hearing it on the damn TV. Like with comdoms and tissue-paper."

It's not that I think anyone should be ashamed of their period.
Periods are (hypothetically) beautiful.
I just think the way they're portrayed on TV is disgusting:

Woman: "Go away, perverted co-worker."
Perverted co-worker: "Fuck you, you bitch! What are you, PMSing?"

Someone shoot him.
Comedy my ass.


"نزول الدوره شيء جميل..رائع"

-أبله كوثر


ubergirl

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

ubergirl87#2

I'm having a wizard of Oz moment. I have been living in these shoes for three days. They're the only (really pretty) ones that my plastered foot fits into.
My very own Ruby Slippers.
I also only walk on yellow... Err... Things.
Honestly, there aren't enough yellow anything raods on this earth.
I demand more yellow brick roads!

MY TOE IS BROKEN.
My every desire must be met.
Hop to it.


In other news, it is now 6:51 AM and Mona and I still haven't slept.
We're quite proud of ourselves.
At sunrise strange things happen to your brain.

Very...
IMG011


Very strange things.
IMG007

I don't even remember taking that last one. Let alone remember the excuse.
Mona is fucking delirious.


Runs in the family.

ubergirl87

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It's Broken

I.
Broke.
My.
Little.
Toe.

When I was younger I read (I think it was) a Sweetvalley book, and one of the girls had broken her arm and was getting chocolate bars and the remote control and nice-ness in general from everyone.
In reality, when you're 19 and not 8, no one really gives a shit about your broken pinky toe. Let alone share their damn candy.
You get a little "awww! How did it happen?" but once you tell them you were running around the house (literally) at 3 AM like a moron the look of sympathy is replaced with the 'God, I knew you'd hurt yourself being yourself one day.' face.
In other words, laughter.
And mockery in general.

Drama drama drama.

And yet, for some bewildering reason...




I'm still in love with life.

The love-struck,
ubergirl

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Denmark Archives

Oooh the Pope said something mean about Muslims!
Let's all sit around and pout!

For fuck's sake.
Why is it that people only pay attention to what the Pope (or the Dutch) say(s) when it's going to offend us? We couldn't care less what they think otherwise.

Honestly, who cares what anyone thinks of Arabs or Muslims.
I mean, people who think anything at all are automatically racist (or generalizing). Not that we should care, though.

Think about it. No-one started 'randomly' searching white American men at airports after the Oklahoma bombing.
No-one thinks 'opressed' when they see a Japanese woman in her traditional Kimono.

Why is the 9/11 attack any different than Oklahoma? Why is a Kimono any different than a Hijab?

The next time someone asks whether you know any terrorists after you tell them you're Saudi or Muslim or Arabic, don't try to clear anything up or 'salvage' our reputation.
When some cartoonist makes fun of our Prophet, don't pay any attention to it.
We know you love him.... It's probably why you choose to follow his risala.
There is no need to shout your loyalty off roof tops, unless ofcourse, you feel the need to prove something...

Our Prophet (pbuh) has clearly demonstrated that mockery should not be met with outrage. Al-Rasool chose to ignore mockery, didn't he?
Why do some Muslims today continuously give attention (and, consequently, further media coverage and exposure) to it?
Do Muslims today feel that Al-Rasool's method was perhaps... Not good enough for them?
I doubt it.


We love our Prophet, and Islam is definitely not a laughing matter, that's a given. We do not need to further clarify (nor get angry about) anthing.
Terrorists come in all shapes, sizes, colors and nationalities. Hate manifests itself in many things.
We (Arabs, Muslims) do not need to justify ourselves or give excuses.
If you think we're hateful or primitive, we shouldn't care.
If you don't think "we" are anything, if you think humans are idividuals and generalizing and discriminating against people according to race or religion is as logical as discriminating against people who own blue umbrellas and enjoy collecting nail clippings, then your brain is fantastical.


Help me channel our fellow Muslim's fruitless frustration into something more productive, like, getting Somalia out of the little rut it's in. You know, it can't be a lot of fun being the most poverty-stricken country in the world.
I actually believe Somalia needs more attention than Denmark and, yes, even the Pope.

I'm evil, you see.


ubergirl

Thursday, October 12, 2006

"If You Put Things Off 'Till The Last Minute,



They only take a minute to do."

That's good advice.
You're welcome.



God, my friends are amazing.



ubergirl

Monday, October 09, 2006

Animal Crackers In My Soup...

I was sitting with a group of girls who were basically forcing their presence upon me.
It was okay untill they started talking about how much they spend on Chanel in Paris every year.
It became some sort of competition. Who spent the most money and where.

I'm sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Why do they think how much money their daddy makes/inherited is something to show off about? There are about 289738947209837249 people all around the world who can afford a Gucci key chain and a trip to Geneva.
It's not very special, I promise you.

I have a better idea for a competition: Who can burn their money the fastest.
Or who can eat a whole fried pink hippo in under three minutes.

I know what you're saying; 'Ubergirl, we do not mean to question your awesome brain power, but is there such a thing as a pink hippo?'

Yes.

My point is, saying you bought a Chanel bag is as pointless as pink hippo eating contests (which don't exist, because obviously pink hippos are an endangered species.)


I think I'm allegic to people.

ubergirl

PS. Wish me a happy birthday, everyone!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Saudi Television Is Becoming Controversial. Finally.

Am I the only one who is happy our social problems have been put on "display for the world to see" on Tash-ma-tash? ( a Saudi Ramadhan TV show)

When will we understand that nobody cares about our moronic social problems?
People think they're funny. Franky, if I didn't have to deal with them on a daily basis, I'd think they're fuckin' hillarious!
I'm talking about the Hay'a, the sexism, and the tribal hang-ups.

No, I don't think I'm being un-patriotic by enjoying this "embarrassment." I think everyone else is being un-patriotic by continuing to practice or support the afore mentioned issues. I don't usually know how most people think, but isn't being sexist and thinking you're better than everyone because your great-great-great (x 298) grandfather belonged to some tribe considered the true embarrassment to your country?

And no, I don't think talking about our problems makes them worse. Sure, on Tash, they're mostly making fun, but atleast they're getting people talking! After that one episode we talked about the tribal issues at the dinner table! We all got to express our outrage at what's hapening! It was glorious!
Only when we communicate will we begin to resolve our issues.

This year Tash has exceeded my expectations.
Sure, I didn't expect much in the first place, and they didn't really deliver anything spectacular, but I am grateful to them for bringing up important issues.
I only hope they're not put off by negative feedback.


ubergirl

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Yes, I Still Watch Survivor. Leave Me Alone.


Who watches Survivor Cook Islands?
It's fascinating.
I'm serious.

At first I bought the whole "social experiment" thing. But now I know better.
Firstly, people shouldn't be thought of as Asian, Hispanic, black, or caucasian, let alone be sorted according to race. People are people. Race should never have been an issue, ever.

Secondly, I don't consider myself at all racist. I'm probably the farthest thing from it.
But this is what I caught coming myself saying while watching Survivor:

"I hope the Japanese team wins.


... Asian, sorry."


"How come the black guy's so aggresive?"


"That blonde girl is such an idiot. My God!"


I rest my case.

I'm not saying watching Survivor will make you racist. I'm saying it makes you say things and think things.
Not all Koreans are smart, idealistic, and good looking. (Okay maybe they are.)
Not all men of African decent are aggressive.
And not all blondes are stupid.

Other than that, I'm actually enjoying it.

I hope Yul wins.
I also hope I'm not the only one who wants him and the other Korean chick (Rebecca?) to hook up. They'd be the cutest couple in the world.







Go Yul!














Okay. Gushing over.


Actually, post over.


ubergirl

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Green Is Also The Color Of Snot, You Know.

I tried to ignore it. I really did.

This obnoxius "patriotism" is getting on my nerves.
The national day was last week, for God's sake! Why are people still "celebrating"?
Don't get me wrong, I am all for freedom of... Expression, if you want to call it that. I don't care if you want to wear green, red, blue or walk around naked to celebrate your country. Just don't nag me to join in the fun.
And do not pollute the stratosphere with your sickening rendition of a world cup song.
Believe it or not, wearing your flag on a t-shirt and singing does not make you a good citizen. And I'm afraid it doesn't even make you look like a good citizen.
Here's what does:
When your fellow Saudi is forced to divorce his wife because he is not "tribal", you do anything you can to help. You openly express your dismay, atleast.
Not agree with the judge.
Not think "how could she marry a non-tribal man, anyway?!"

I cannot begin to express how revolted I am by this story, and people's reactions to it.
How do people live with this much ignorance? Seriously?


ubergirl

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Ramadhan Kareem!

Sometimes I wish I were American.
Because if I were, I'd just sue the hell out of everyone who annoys me (for emotional distress) and be done with it.
I'd be very rich and happy.
And they'd deserve loosing all their money because if you bother me then you're a shit eating shit head.
Who eats their own shit.
And everyone knows shit eating shit heads who eat their own shit don't need any money.
So I'd be doing everyone a favour by sueing them for all they're worth, really.
I'm so thoughtful.


I saw the Hay'a today, for the first time since I got back from our trip.
I hate them so bad. The ones I saw today were perverted and may God never forgive them.
It is not their place to tell me what will make my God happy.
I would've slapped 'em with about 10 million zillion lawsuits if I ruled the world.
On second thought, they wouldn't exist if I ruled the world.
Don't you wish I ruled the world?
Me too.


ubergirl

Monday, September 18, 2006

I'm Hungry

I slept for 12 hours last night.
Phew.
I'm exhausted.

School is such a horrible place.
Where horrible people socialize.
And emit horrible odors.
I am so sick of interrupting my much needed sleep to go there. It's an hour long drive from my house. And going there is like stepping back into the year 1756.
I wouldn't be surprised if people still considered camels a serious mode of transport over in that part of the city.
Not that camels aren't charming. They are. Especially when they spew out the contents of their stomaches, which (I have noticed) are usually green.


You're welcome. (For the lovely visual up there)

Why is everyone at school so boring? And more importantly, why do they all have the same face? And dress sense?
The other day I laughed at David Letterman. You know your life is lacking in excitement when you laugh at a Letterman joke.
Honestly, what a stale, boring man.
Why is he still on TV? What is he, 97?
Everyone knows Conan's the man.


Long live the string bikini dance.

ubergirl

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

And She Saves Lives, Too!

I was by the pool and one of the kids was drowning.
I can't believe how long it took for what was happening to register.
I felt shock and fear and I know everyone there froze. You can't help it. Your body just doesn't work anymore... You feel... heavy, is the closest word to it.
Next thing I know I'm in the pool lifting her out of the water. She was okay.
Very very shaken, but okay.

I like to think that I looked heroic. I dived (ever so gracefully) into the pool, fought off a killer whale, and retrieved the drowning child.
In reality she was in the shallow end. And I didn't dive. (Because if you dive into the shallow end you break your brain.)
The killer whale was totally there, though.

"You managed to find a reason to jump into the pool fully clothed on the one day you weren't wearing those sweatpants of yours. Good job!"


(After hearing of the incident) "Haha how stupid did you feel walking out of the pool in your sneakers? Man I'll bet it was the funniest thing..."
"It wasn't. Infact, I looked very cool. And sophisticated.


Just go away."



"Uber, what on earth are you going to do?"
"I can just borrow something from so&so's closet. It's no big deal. Although I didn't realize wet jeans are this heavy-"
"So&so's clothes are too small for you."

Leave it to my family to make you feel fat after rescuing a drowning child infront of their very eyes.


This post is going to inspire a Baywatch reunion or something, isn't it?
I can feel it.
I better get fucking payed if it does.
I do all the work around here. (Here being planet earth.)

ubergirl

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Bringin' Sexy Back. (I'm running low on creativity. Give me a break.)

The death of Steve Irwin made me sad. He was so enthusiastic. (That's not why I was sad, I was just stating a random Croc Hunter fact.)
And now Anna Nicole Smith (of Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole! She's so outrageous!)'s 20 year old son.
Death is so scary to me. I like stability. It scares me that I don't know when my time's gonna be up.

On a much lighter note, the Bring the Sexy Cow back petition I signed (in my head) has worked. She's baaaaaack!
And I will personally walk to her house and slap her if she ever quits again. I know where she lives. Ya Mona.


ubergirl

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I Make My Head Spin

I am such an emotional wreck these days.
Everything makes me cry now. (So leave me nice comments, you jerks.)

I didn't go to school today because I overslept.
I'm so over that place anyway. I havn't yet learned anything new there. Except for the fact that I could teach all of them a few things.
Everyone always says college is a good experience because you meet people from all walks of life and bla bla bla.
Well guess what?
I'm not impressed by people from all walks of life.
I don't really know how to adequately describe my feelings towards the human race.
I don't know whether it is that I'm not surprised by anyone anymore, or that everything and everyone absolutely shocks me.
Crazy, I know.

I want to get in touch with myself now. I really do.
Someone once told me that because we are originally Bedouins, only the desert can soothe us. Quite frankly, that might be spot on.
I know rivers and forests and hills do nothing for me. Nice scenery in general does nothing for me. Except pictures of deserts and sand dunes. I've always been drawn to them.
The last time I went to the desert I was like, ten. I saw a snake.
I almost pissed my pants I swear.
Getting in touch with yourself sounds so glamorous. Like drugs and suicide. (Joke.)

Plus, Bedouins are terribly sexy, you know.

ubergirl

Monday, September 04, 2006

I Live Amongst Strange People

My family is very tight-knit. We gather three times a week for lunch, and they put you through hell if you don't show up.
They are very... Colorful people.
I do love them. I really do.
I just have no fucking clue why.

They can be pushy. And insensitive. And hurtful. And sometimes, they take you for granted.


"Ubergirl, you've gained weight."
"No, I haven't."
"What do you mean you havent!? Am I imagining the weight you've gained!?"
"Am I imagining that the number on the scale hasn't changed for the past 6 months?"
"Yes."
"How convenient."



"UBERGIRL! WHY ARE YOU STANDING!? WE DO NOT EAT STANDING UP IN THIS HOUSE! YOU WILL SIT DOWN THIS INSTANT. DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!!!"
I sit. But not at the table. On a couch. Because my family has not yet noticed that its members have doubled in number during the past three years, and the table we sit at has not grown, nor have they provided extra seating.
And I'll be damned if I sit at the children's table.



While I am watching a good show on TV:
"Where the hell is my KitKat!? Uber did you eat my KitKat!?"
"I didn't touch your god damn KitKat. Leave me alone."
"Then where the hell is it!?"
"Hold on, let me use my KitKat Tracking powers... Hummm..... HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW WHERE YOUR KITKAT IS!? YA ALLAH!"
"Fine. You don't have to shout."
To get you to shut up yes I fucking do, evidently!



"Can I borrow that white shirt you wore last week?" I ask my sister.
Someone laughs.
"It wouldn't fit you!"
I don't say anything. Because it does fit.
And the only thing I can think of to say is very very mean.



After almost breaking my back helping someone move some ridiculously large vases from one part of the house to another, I get fucking shouted at because one of the 38947039 kids left their shoe somewhere and someone almost tripped over it.
I so should have ignored the blinding pain in my back, ignored that I wanted to get this over and done with, ignored the fact that I and my sister were the only people made to 'help' with this chore, and looked out for things that would potentially trip people up, and lifted them off the floor. I'm such a jackass.



"Ubergirl, what on earth are you wearing."
"Uhh... Sweatpants?"
"Those are GYM clothes!"
"They're comfortable."
"Huh!"
"Whaat? I always wear these when I come here."
"Ofcourse you do! That's why you always look... Disheveled!"
"Yeah. On purpose. Grunge is making a comeback, you know."
"Allah Yihdeeki bass." (May God.. Something. I don't know, lol.)



"Ubergirl, would you go ask so and so to do this and that and the other thing?"
"Ubergirl, please run upstairs and get me my glasses? Not the frameless ones!"
"UBER! Where have you been? I want your opinion on so and so."
"Uber, that's a very... Err.. Interesting outfit you're wearing.."
All at the exact same time.
Can you imagine.
All at once. And they don't hear eachother. In their little lala land, they're the only one who is asking me to do something or expecting me to give them an answer. I cannot at all give four people the same ammount of concentratin at the same time. So what I end up doing is making some lame joke out of it: "Boy, am I on demand!" Or, "I'm glad to see no one hates me anymore."
No one ever gets it.



A conversation with my father while I'm watching Prison Break:
"How very beneficial for Fox that everyone in this prison is good-looking."
"It's just these two that are. Not the whole prison, Baba."
Three minutes later:
"Tattoos? What- No one's suspicious? Are you actually buying this?"
"Yes, thank you. Now will you quit poking holes in the plot? Please Baba! I'm enjoing this."
He looks disappointed.



And the classic:
"Ubergirl did this and that." (Yes, they know I'm in the room.)
"Yes, only because-"
"Whaaat?!"
"You cannot be serious! What do you think, uber'smom?"
"I've given up. It's a lost cause."
"Will you just let me explain! I-"
"That girl is crazy, I tell you. Crazy."
They only stop talking about me when I leave the room. I am convinced it's a prank. They probably laugh for hours once I'm gone.


That was absolutely nothing, by the way. I have witnessed much, much worse done to other members. I live amongst strange people.


"The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. " -Dodie Smith.

ubergirl

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Don't Get Excited

Girls, I don't care what age you are, if you have any questions about anything, please Email me. I don't have to know who you are, I won't ask. But if you need advice, or anything else please let me know. About absolutely anything. I won't judge, I promise.

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything new in so long, it's just that there is nothing new. I'm in a much better mood than usual today. I don't feel like whining about anything in particular... Except (you knew it was coming), the fact that girls here are so confused. Secretly confused. There are many things you can't talk about with your friends, and parents and teachers are out of the question. That is really why I'd like you girls to Email me. I might be able to help.
Guys too, actually. Do not hesitate to ask.

I'm looking up at the sky, and it's like there's a big cloud of dust hovering over the city. I'm fascinated.

Peace and love!

ubergirl

Monday, August 28, 2006

"God Protect Me From Your "Followers""

I hate Abayas.
Stupid Hay'a sticking us in black Abayas. As if it weren't hot enough in Saudi Arabia!

I hate hate haaate the Hay'a.
I realize they're trying to be "religious", but I don't understand why they're trying to impose their "religion" upon everyone else! It's just so... Uncivilized!
I don't go around sharing my views on facial hair with them! I don't tell their wives and daughters and sisters and whoever the hell else they "own" how to dress and how to act and what to think!
They make us all do what they think is "right", and I think what they think is "right" is in fact wrong wrong wrong.
And let's not forget that the only thing in life that matters is what I, ubergirl, think. Just pretend you agree with that last sentence. I believe it. Please don't ruin that for me.

Why the hell do we listen to them? Why am I fucking scared of them!? It should be the other fucking way around! I know they've been given power, but who the fuck cares!
My highschool principle had power, I didn't give a shit. No-one gave a shit.
I hate the Hay'a so much.

ubergirl

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If You're Offended By This Then I Mean YOU.

Gentlemen, (or should I just be honest and call you complete wastes of oxygen and all other resources?)
Stalking me will not get you my number. It might provoke an outburst (which I will find theraputic and you will find excruciatingly embarrassing.) It will certainly trigger disgust, and pity, but absolutely nothing more, you perverts.
Being rude doesn't make you more of a "man", fucktard.
I will only ever give you the time of day when you are my intellectual equals. That's right, kids. NEVER.
So I suggest you give up and take on something more productive, like knitting (it's quite simple, don't worry.)

Try to grow a few feet while you're shopping at Burberry. And shave, you disgusting pigs. Everywhere. You look like Yetis.
Animal noises are not in the least attractive, you neanderthals.

And you're only rude to us Arab girls. Banat baladkum. Hatha badal ma t3amlooni zay o5tikum. Lazim anadee ilsecruty guard ilbree6ani 3ahsan ysa3idni 3alaikom. Wallah 3aib.
That, I will never understand.
I will, however, keep pointing it out to you.
ISTI7U 3ALA WJEEHKOM.

ubergirl

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The Number You Have DIaled Cannot Be Reached...

I dislike AlJawwal and Saudi Telecom.
They are such assholes.
Expensive assholes.

If you work for them (or own them), please Email me.
We need to have a discussion.

ubergirl

(don't worry, my fellow 3umala2 (customers) I'll give them an ass kicking they won't soon forget.)
Long live Mobily!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Muhamadiyah Attack

Things that frustrate me have been popping up out of no where this past week.
Take, for instance, this.
Why is that story still in the news?
It happened 10 years ago.
Not to mention it is her parent's fault.

Whereas, this is rarely mentioned in the news.

You know, the story of how four of the soldiers who are fighting for the freedom of Iraq raped a 14 year old girl and then murdered her along with the rest of her family.*
This is apparently one of many cases we haven't heard the details of.
I'm sure it's all to do with stopping the terrrissts from acquiring new-key-ler weapons.
Seriously, why is that not in the news all the time?
It sure as hell deserves to be!
I would very much like to see those soldiers trialed and senteced in Iraqi courts.

What is wrong with everyone!?
Why isn't anyone outraged? Why are American soldiers still in Iraq? They aren't happy there, and niether are the Iraqis! Get them back to their homes!
If I were American I'd demand that American soldiers be brought back home.
Honestly, let the Arabs sort out their own mess. No one asked America to police the world!

But I'm not American, I'm Arabic.
And I hate what's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan and Palestine.
And there's absolutely nothing I can do.
I hate not being able to fix things.
It's so frustrating!

And so the never-ending circle of frustration continues.

ubergirl


*Again: No offence to the Americans. I just don't like your government very much.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

My One Hundredth Post

I don't want anyone to congratulate me. Save yourself the effort.
Instead I want everyone to watch this.
Please please please, watch this video with an open mind.
Actually listen to what George Galloway is saying. Listen.

George Galloway is a Rockstar.


ubergirl

Saturday, August 12, 2006

A Few Of My Experiences With Arab Men, Part One

There is a group of Moroccans who make a point to shout "Habeebi!" (Darling!) whenever we pass by them. I hear it almost three times a week.
What is that about?

No, seriously?


I was having lunch with my sister today, we were both reading.
Now normally, when someone is reading, it is like they have a large 'Do Not Disturb' sign magically hanging over them, isn't it?
Not to the Arab male, apparently.
"Those men have been staring at us for the past half hour."
I look up and catch one's eye. He points at his friend who is walking over to us.
"Marhaba!" (Greetings!)
"Marhaba."
"Are you Arabic?"
I am tempted to say (in Arabic) "No, we are Vietnamese.", but decide I am not in the mood for this 60 something year old man to think I'm being cute.
"Uhh... Yes. We're Saudi."
"I knew it! I have been arguing that you are Arabic with those gentlemen over there. They think you're Italian."
"Yeah. We're not." I smile and go back to my book.
I look up and he's still there, leaning on our table.
"I am Dr.WhoGivesAShitWhatHisNameIs, from Syria."
Silence.
"And... Where in Saudi Arabia do you live."
My sister says, "The capital." with out looking up from her book.
"Ahh! We lived there for almost 20 years! From 19HowTheFuckIsThis to 19UsefulToMe?!"
"That's before we were even born."
"Hoho! Yes it is!"
"Are you girls here on vacation?"
"Yes."
"Is your family here with you?"
"Yes."
"Do you study here?"
"No."
"Where do you study?"
"Riyadh."

Why has this clown not left yet? I think two minutes later.

"Who is your father?"
"Excuse me?"
"What is the name of your father?"
I ignore him.
"Where do you live? What street?"
"Sir, you came here wanting to know whether we were Arabic, now you know. I don't see how any of your other questions are relevant."
He starts blubbering about how he didn't want to cause us any 'inconvenience.'
Well, he has.
And no, curiosity doesn't justify any of his questions. I was polite enough to answer a few, but he is still one of the most annoying people I have ever come across.


Lastly is a little Saudi boy (the ones who have green mustaches) that follows us everywhere and knows exactly where we are at all times.
Without anyone even paying him.
He is usually seen with his gang of teenage boys, making a fool of himself.
All very exciting, I assure you.

ubergirl

Oh, and happy birthday LuLu!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Why Isn't The World Saying Anything?

One thing I wil never ever ever understand is why the whole world stands by and lets things like the war in Lebanon happen.
I can't believe no one's forcing Israel into a cease fire.
They are pulling children out of the rubble.
Children.

The whole concept of war is something I will never understand, either.
Growing up, they teach you that conflict is solved the "adult way" by talking things over.
And yet here we are, in the 21st century bombing the hell out of everything. (We, as in humans.)
Why are weapons even made?
Guns, bombs, the whole deal.
Why?
There is absolutely no need for any of it.

And if we're going to accuse Iran of supplying weapons to Hizbullah, we should also look into America supplying Israel with weapons. It is also supplying African countries (including Sierra Lione) with weapons, fueling the civil war.*
Or is that "different"?
I'll bet it is.

I know nothing about war, politics, or casualties, but I find it strange that over 700 people (30-40% of them children) have been killed in almost 4 weeks. I find it stranger that Israel is doing all of this because of two hostages, who are soldiers.
What I find even stranger still, is that Hizbullah are the only people who have pointed out that Israel has thousands of civillian hostages. No one seems to be paying much attention to that little fun fact.

No matter how I look at this, Hizbollah are in the right. Whether I watch Al-Jazeera or CNN, I come to the same conclusion.
I know in matters like this there is no "wrong" and "right", but in this particular case it is glaringly obvious.
I wish no harm upon the Israelis, Americans, or anyone else, but I'd like to state clearly that Hizbullah are in the right.
Again: I am completely opposed to war, and the killing of innocent people.
I'm just stating what I have concluded.

War is a fucker.
Let's all play nice.

ubergirl

*No offence to the Americans, but your government does do that stuff. It doesn't make you bad people, it just means I personally am not too fond of your government.
I'm not too fond of mine, either, but that's a whooole 'nother post.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Yay for Italy!


The day Italy won the world cup was fun.
Italians are partiers.
I was kind of sort of rooting for France in the beginning.
Only because of Zedane, though.
That man oozes sex appeal.

When Italy won I cheered like my life counted on it.
Because I'm a backstabber and all I care about is winning.
What's it to you, butt munch?
(I'm paying homage to Beavis and Butthead because I love them for being the only show on German TV that is subtitled and not voice-overed. DADADAAAA!!)

We wore flags as capes and ran around the streets of London shouting "ITALIA!" at French passer-by.
We did get the occasional "Fook off.", and what I'm sure was a string of French obscenities, to which a "Haha. Don't be bitter about loosing, budd. It's only football!" was an appropriate retaliation.
Otherwise "You fuck off! You're the ones that lost! HAH!" worked, too.

And the Italians... Boy do I love y'all.
You weren't nasty when you found out we weren't Italian.
And you were even nice enough to let us keep pretending we were.
We fooled a hell of a lot of people.

Haha. Some guy came charging over to us, picked up Mona and just ran off.
It was fucking hillarious.

She didn't think it was so funny.
This is, though.
Mona you fucktard you're funny like shite, you know that?
(Literally.)

The Italians are so charming.
Honestly, they are.
I'm not big on the accent, but when they force you into posing for their cameras by saying "Hey Byootifilla girrlss! Bella! Come take-a pik-churr! Bella!"
You find yourself asking: "Beautiful!? Really??.."
Instead of the customary kick in the balls and "Get the fuck off me, pervert! Officer! This man is harassing me!"
I don't know how they do it. Magic is my guess.

When it comes to accents, the French win hands down.
They can make the most idiotic- even disgusting- statements sound sexy.
"My sokss are' wett."
Yummy. I think I'm in love.

So there you have it.
The Italians may have won the World Cup, but the French have sexier accents.

If I ruled the world, it would so be cool.
I just felt like saying that.

ubergirl