Najdi Love!

Last night I read something quite... Disturbing.

I realize the rest of Saudi Arabia thinks we Najdis are barbarians, but please hear me out:
I am Najdi, and I never would have done that.
Never.
I am sorry you had to experience that, Mr.Yawmiyat. Really I am.

I have a story of my own.
My father was born in Najd, but grew up in Al-Shargiyah.
He was teased at school, they used to call him "Al-Najsi."
Not "Al-Najdi." Najsi.

My father tells us that story not with contempt or disfavor, he does not hold any grudges.
I wish I could say that was the end of this story.

When he was in second grade, he had a teacher that beat him every day.
He would walk into class and say, "Wain ilNajdi!?" (Where's the Najdi?)
The beatings got so bad that my father's older brother went to talk with the headmaster about it.

Second grade, can you imagine?

"What an assho- Err... What a jerk. Don't you hate him, Baba?" is what I said after hearing this story.
My dad just smiled and said: "No. He was ignorant. I pity him, but I do not hate nor resent him."
To this day my father refers to Ahl Al-Sharigiyah as the nicest people you will ever meet.

We could all learn something from this story.
I know that throughout history we Najdis have been absolutely horrid to the rest of you guys, I have heard all about the judges who always ruled in favour of the Najdi, the Quatif "quarantine", the butchering of innocent people in Hijaaz.
I've heard about it all, and it pains me. I hate to see anyone in the world suffering, let alone my own people (no not just the Najdis.)
We all have painful pasts. My (Najdi) grandfather watched the body of his aunt (that had been raped and murdered) being burried at the age of 11. He knew she was murdered and he had every reason to expect his mother, or even he, would be next.

My point is, and you knew this was coming, I am another "a7ma8" that is going to warn against generalization.
I of all people know it's hard not to generalize.
I know sometimes it even seems right, like when saying Najdis are idiots/jerks/jackasses/all of the above.
But let's be honest: it never is right.
If 99.9% of the population of Najd are idiots/jerks/jackasses/all of the above, it still wouldn't be fair to say they all are.

Thank you very much for not shoving a pen up that guy's ass, for not being violent or even rude. You really showed you are the bigger person.
And again, I'm sorry you have to go through that.

I look forward to the day we all become one big happy family!
My friend is telling me it'll never happen, let's prove her wrong.

ubergirl

PS. Wallah I love all of you guys! The Sunna, the Shee3a, il7jaaz, Najd, Shargiyah. You're all awesome! I feel all warm and fuzzy! Yay! Cupcakes for everyone!
Okay I'm going overboard. Sorry.

ubergirl

Agooool

Yesterday I was talking with my mother. Just the two of us. A very rare occurance.
"Mama you know Flana got engaged."
"Wallah? I didn't think she was... The marrying type."
I laughed.
"What does that mean?"
"She looks gay. Doesn't she?"

That's what I said when I heard the news of her engagement.

You never think your mother would share something like that with you. Who she thinks might be gay.
I feel as though she and I are closer now, for some reason. It is a very strange feeling.

ubergirl

I Need A New Nose To Go With This Outfit...

Everyone's getting plastic surgery now.


If you've had a boob job, please do not wear those skimpy halter tops until the bruising and swelling goes down. I beg of you.
I need to get a shirt that says that.

ubergirl

Do Whatever You Want With Humans... Just Leave The Poor Bunnies Alone!

I am all for animal rights.
I think endangered animals should be protected by the law.
I think hurting endangered animals is a crime.

However, I am not against testing medications on rodents.

First of all, before we even think about animal rights, we need to consider human rights.
Crazy, huh?
Let me see... Where in the world are human rights being violated...
Let's make a list:

1.Abu Ghraib.
Allow me to quote:
"... remember, this is just what the military could confirm as having happened:

a. (S) Punching, slapping, and kicking detainees; jumping on their naked feet;
b. (S) Videotaping and photographing naked male and female detainees;
c. (S) Forcibly arranging detainees in various sexually explicit positions for photographing;
d. (S) Forcing detainees to remove their clothing and keeping them naked for several days at a time;
e. (S) Forcing naked male detainees to wear women's underwear;
f. (S) Forcing groups of male detainees to masturbate themselves while being photographed and videotaped;
g. (S) Arranging naked male detainees in a pile and then jumping on them;
h. (S) Positioning a naked detainee on a MRE Box, with a sandbag on his head, and attaching wires to his fingers, toes, and penis to simulate electric torture;
i. (S) Writing "I am a Rapest" (sic) on the leg of a detainee alleged to have forcibly raped a 15-year old fellow detainee, and then photographing him naked;
j. (S) Placing a dog chain or strap around a naked detainee's neck and having a female Soldier pose for a picture;
k. (S) A male MP guard having sex with a female detainee;
l. (S) Using military working dogs (without muzzles) to intimidate and frighten detainees, and in at least one case biting and severely injuring a detainee;
m. (S) Taking photographs of dead Iraqi detainees.
a. (U) Breaking chemical lights and pouring the phosphoric liquid on detainees;
b. (U) Threatening detainees with a charged 9mm pistol;
c. (U) Pouring cold water on naked detainees;
d. (U) Beating detainees with a broom handle and a chair;
e. (U) Threatening male detainees with rape;
f. (U) Allowing a military police guard to stitch the wound of a detainee who was injured after being slammed against the wall in his cell;
g. (U) Sodomizing a detainee with a chemical light and perhaps a broom stick.
h. (U) Using military working dogs to frighten and intimidate detainees with threats of attack, and in one instance actually biting a detainee. "


2.Guantanamo Bay.



3.Darfur.


4.Rwanda.


I could go on forever.
Human rights are being violated everywhere. All the time.
And yet people seem to get more worked up about testing a drug on rats.
Don't they see the medications being tested will maybe save someone's life?

Wait a minute.. I'm being silly!
We can go test drugs on sick children in Nigeria!
We don't even have to tell the parents! Brilliant!
People in third world countries don't really deserve to live, anyway.

ubergirl

He's A Scumbag Don't Ya Know...

Arctic Monkeys are probably the best thing that's happened to Indie Rock since The Strokes.
Buy the CD. It's called "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not."
Perfect ten.
Oh, my favorite track is Scummy, they changed it's name to "When The Sun Goes Down" when they released it as a single.
Don't really know why... Scummy is a better name for a song, I think.
They're awesome anyway.

ubergirl

I'm Warning You, This Is Ugly

"Today I'd like to talk about the issue of Saudi Arabian women driving cars."

God.

"All the liberals want women to drive here. But I don't think it would be right. Think of all the car accidents they'll cause! And a woman can't possibly drive her car alone. She'd have to be accompanied by her brother or something. And what man would stand to be driven around by a woman? I mean.. It's not right. And anyway.. A recent survey shows that only 32% of women actually want to drive."

"And who conducted this survey?"

"Oh, I did! Think about it... We'd have to have policewomen. How will that work!?"
She laughs.

I didn't argue because I don't have the time nor energy.
And because I knew it would be fruitless.
Some people are just idiots, and no matter how hard you try to knock some common sense into their heads, you fail.

الله يعظم أجرنا

(Do you know how long it took me to type that in Arabic?)

ubergirl

I Woke Up At 3PM

The internet at our house hasn't been woking for a few days.
I went to watch TV.
That wasn't working either.


What did people do before TV and the internet?

ubergirl

Jammaz Ya Jammaz

Doesn't Jammaz AlS7aimy (I hope I got his name right) look like a nice guy?
I feel so bad for him! He has to go through all kinds of shit.
People are hiring hit-men, for God's sake.
He was just in the wrong position at the wrong time.
Miskeen.
He's awesome!
I'm kinda a fan of his in the same way that I'm a fan of William Hung.
You know, pity fandom.
I hope people start liking him soon.
It's bad enough people are saying mean things about him, they should leave his family out of it. I'm not linking to anything because I don't approve of any of it.

ubergirl

I Thought Muttawas* Didn't Even *Like* Camera Phones..

Today I scarred myself emotionally. I will forever suffer the psychological consequences.
Or atleast for the next couple of days I will.
Whatever.

It all started when my idiot little mind made my idiot little mouth ask a friend to show me the video of the Muttawa* (member of the religious police) raping a girl.
I hate when I get all "I-won't-believe-it-till-I-see-it" on people.
Ya3ny she told you it exsisted, ubergirl... Why, why must you doubt!?
Because I'm "curious". That's why.
"Curious" my ass. Malgoofa is more like it.

It was horrible.
Horibble.
He had a beard and everything.
He was scolding her while doing it.
Who know they* were kinky, eh? Shut up! You were thinking it too!

It wasn't exactly rape, though.
Apparently they* had "caught" her doing something, and she was trading sex for freedom.
She was obviously okay with the whole.. Err.. Thing.

Not only was the tape horrible enough on it's own, it made me ask myself: "You mean they're*
not really "religious"? "
Whoa.

ubergirl

*I have recently learned that some men pose as religious police to do things like this.
I now firmly believe the man in the video I saw is not a real Muttawa.

Oh, one more thing. This is my blog. And I get to say whatever the hell I want. I can blame people, I can point fingers, I can say I hate the Hay2a. If you don't like it, then you better find yourself something else to read.
(Please note that I can blame and point fingers, but I haven't in this post. I just want to state that I can if I want to.)

Let's Just Randomly Stroke Eachother While We Pose For Pictures, Girls!

I hate how female celebrities try to be all provocative and sexy.
It's disgusting.
I don't appreciate being forced into thinking of the Olsen Twins as lovers.
And yes, I think this picture is suggestive.
Believe me, no sisters would ever hug like that in real life.

I know they're told to do these things to appeal to.. people. I'm not calling anyone a pervert (even though I think people who fantasize about twins are perverted. Seriously. Think about it.)

I understand that's what they need to do to get publicity, but some people, like the Olsen twins in this particular picture, just try too hard.
Angelina Jolie can pull off sexy.
Halle Berry can pull of sexy.
Lindsey Lohan cannot.

These girls need to understand that you just can't force sex appeal!

Another quick way to get famous is to casually and "innocently" use female genetalia in the name of your "band"/dancing troupe, a`la Pussy Cat Dolls.

Oh, I'm sorry.. They mean kitties?
Silly me!

ubergirl

My Thoughts On Denmark, And Darfur.

I am sick of people whining about Denmark.
We get it, you're offended. We all are.
And guess what?
Nobody cares. So get over it.

In the space of one month, I have only heard one person (briefly) talk about what's going on in Darfur.
In the space of two days you hear about those God damned cartoons five hundred times.
Not to mention the bumper stickers.
300,000 People have died in Darfur since 2003. Most of them starved to death.
One man in Afghanistan died while taking part in a protest demanding the government of Denmark publicly apologize for the cartoons.
Do they think the world needs more death?
How these people sleep at night is beyond me.

Let's all boycott Denmark because one man's doodle made us mad. YEAH!
GO KSA!!

Oh, and by the way, no one wants to boycott America for what's still happening in Abu Ghraib. There are tapes of people literally banging their heads on the wall, but we gotta handle them Denmarikians first, eh?

Also, I have noticed that we Saudis donate a lot of money to organizations that build Masjids in African countries.
I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I would much rather build a factory or a farm or whatever in Africa.
You don't need to build a Masjid! People can pray anywhere! Africans are starving to death. A Masjid is not going to feed them!

ubergirl

Ilgird Fe 3ain Ommo 3'azal!

I hate proud mothers.
I honestly do.
They think you're after their son(s).
And you're kinda not.
And they let the whole fucking world know when you've spoken a single word to their son that lives in fucking Outer Mongolia. And they make it sound like you want to hook up.
And then your mother hears of this.
And she gets worried you'll get pregnant (or whatever mothers worry about.)
And all you said was "Hello."
Not "Hello!"
"Hello."

Why doesn't anyone tell these mothers that their kids are ugly losers?
Is it going to disturb the chain of being?
I'm gonna find out.

ubergirl

Random Questions.

You know what's fun?
Asking random questions.

How many times a week do you shower?
How do you feel about carrots?
If you had to pick one color to wear for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Who are you shaping yourself after?
Aren't cows charming?

Ask a stranger a completely random question.
Randomness rocks my socks.

ubergirl

Thank you Nour..

... For lending me Brokeback Mountain.
I loved it. Loved.
Aside from the fact that it's two semi-cute guys making out for two hours straight, it's a real love story, man.
I'm trying not to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet; but boy, are you in for a treat!

ubergirl

Shari3 5amsa And Star Academy

Okay, I officially hate the Shari3 5amsa crowd.
They're such airheads! It's not funny anymore!
I refuse to sit with them. I refuse to go to that wretched place. All anyone does there anyway is talk about other people. All. The. Fucking. Time.

I don't know about them, but I have a life. And I'd much rather be living it than talking about how other people live theirs.
It is sick how people enjoy talking about others behind their back.
I wish I could say no one cares about anyone else's life, but I can't. Because they do care. A great deal. And it's disturbing.
It's kind of why Star Academy is popular here, especially with girls.
When you're addicted to gossip, and when you live in a society such as ours that values it, Star Academy being a huge hit is not a surprise to me.
Plus if you can't live your life as freely as you want you might as well watch other people do it. I guess that idiotic show is the most convenient way to do that; you just turn on the TV from the comfort of your home, and voila! Instant gossip. And the "hot" guys who dance like strippers can't hurt.

ubergirl

Bla.

Lately my diet has consisted of nothing but Cocoa Puffs.
Nothing but Cocoa Puffs.
Is that really as bad as my mother thinks it is?
There should definitely be more meals that come out of a cardboard box and only need the addition of milk.

Also, I noticed that there are billboards all over the city with (half) of David Beckham's face on them.
Last month there was a guy playing air guitar on one of those big screens they put at traffic lights. (Illi gidam 9a7ara.)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but ten years ago this stuff wouldn't have been allowed on the billboards, 9a7?

ubergirl

Ubergirl Sheds Some Light On Demonic Possession.

I was just listening to my little cousin tell a story about a woman who kept shouting "Damn you demons! Quit possessing me!"

Here in Saudi Arabia people still believe that when someone goes crazy, they are most likely possessed.
I am even sure most of the Saudis reading this are thinking I'm crazy for not believing.
To answer the question I know you're asking yourself; I believe in Black Magic, but I do not believe in possession.

Let's ponder this for a moment.
The Arabic word for crazy is Majnoon. The closest I can get to the word demon in Arabic is Jinni.
Clearly one is derived from the other.
What I'm trying to say, is that for a very long time, possession and the loss of one's mind have been undoubtedly linked.

As recently as 50 years ago, people did not understand the concept of craziness. They immediately went to their Sheikh so that he could read Quraan and cure their possesed relative.
I'm not saying the Quraan isn't theraputic or that it would be useless in curing anything.
I'm just saying that 50 years ago, people did not know what mental illness was, so it is understandable that they believed in possesion. There was no other possible explanation back then.

But now there is.
Personality disorders are commonly mistaken for demonic possession:

Paranoid Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent.”

Schizotypal Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior.”

Dependent Personality Disorder refers to a “pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation.” (Most people here mistake DPD for the nanny putting a curse on a child so that he likes her more than his parents, or whatever.)

And ofcourse, there is MPD. (Multiple Personality Disorder.)
You can imagine what people think of that. (Que flashbacks from The Exorcism Of Emily Rose.)

Please think about it before you blow up on me.
Thanks.

ubergirl

Let's Just Change The Name To Sexist Arabia.

I remember back in highschool we were in Biology class, and a girl asked who's "fault" it was when a woman gives birth to a girl.
I turned to her and said "Honey, you might have been a "fault", but I am definitely not."

A few years before that I was at a dinner party and one woman was pregnant. Another woman asked whether it was a boy or a girl, and the mother-to-be said it was a girl.
The woman started consoling her. "Don't worry!", she said, "You'll get a boy next time!"

These people infuriate me! And there are millions of them! Millions!

So what do we do? I am tired of arguing.

ubergirl

I Do This When I Have Nothing To Write About.

Noor tagged me a while back.
Here it goes:

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Complete and utter freedom.

What is your greatest fear? Regret. I am always afraid that I will one day regret a choice I've made.

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Omar Ibnu Abdulaziz. I identify with the way he thought.

Which living person do you most admire? Probably Lubna Al-Olayan.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I make too much out of first impressions.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? I cannot handle rude people. Especially strangers. I don't care that they had a bad day. It does not justify their being rude.

What is your greatest extravagance? I spend a lot of my money on shoes. A lot of my money.

On what occasion do you lie? I acutually very rarely lie. I'm not good at it.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? Nothing. I'm happy with the way I look.

Which living person do you most despise? Paris Hilton and co.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? There's not a particular phrase, but I do use a certain tone excessively.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing. I like my imperfections. Honestly.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Graduating high school. I had serious doubts at one point.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? I'd come back as an African medicine-woman or something.

Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorite writers. Only favorite books.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Batman. I grew up reading comic books, and I've always loved him the most because he's real. He doesn't have super powers or anything.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Losing a loved one. And watching people mourn over her/him. I hope I never have to experience it again.

Where would you like to live? London, New York, or Tokyo.

What is your most marked characteristic? I don't know.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Confidence.

What is your greatest regret? Not visiting my grandpa that one time. Long story.

What OR Who is the greatest love of your life? Chocolate.

How would you like to die? I actually would not like to die.

I hereby tag whoever's up for it.

ubergirl

Thursday Night At The ShuShu Residence

Today I met the dean.
I hate her.
And it's not a natural "I hate authority figures" hate.
It's her I hate.
The person.

I'm at a point where I wish I could just fast forward through the boring bits of my day. Like three-hour lectures where the professor cannot. Stop. Grinning.
It's disturbing.
I can't handle it anymore.

Or the ones that assign 348957348957 books for you to read in the space of two weeks. Those ones are my favorite!

Enough about school.

Last Thursday I felt like shit, so naturally I went over to a girlfriend's house. ShuShu.
This girl is so much fun, it should be illegal.

Their neighbors have like a million kids.
You know those families where the kids were all born nine months apart?
That kind of family.
Their children are so out of control. It is past alarming. It is hillarious.
Their idea of fun is racing out into the street watching passing cars swerve and almost go through a wall trying to avoid hitting them.
They also enjoy stealing their father's car keys and driving around the block.
The eldest is 12.
What really gets me, though, is their now famous human wall.
They stand outside their house and hold hands, forming a wall.
They demand that the driver of a car that want to pass hand over the keys to his car so they can take it for a spin.
Yes.

Don't you just love these people!?

ubergirl

Oh, and I highly recommend Hotel Rwanda.